HomeChild CareWhy would somebody file for visitation and joint custody of their child?
Posted in Child Care on 31st December 2010

Why would somebody file for visitation and joint custody of their child?
and then after the first court date, visit with the child a few times, then start to not show up every time..then not show up to a court date, and then not show up to the second court date?

I hope that doesn’t sound confusing. Do you think he could have done this to try to seem like he cares about his son even though he really doesn’t? I should add, this all came about after I took him to court for not paying child support. He was $ 6000 in arears and I was tired of it. They put him on probation, and he started to pay. So maybe this was to show his p.o that he “cares”?

Okay, and one more question..last I heard, he had quit his job. I havent received child support in a few months, and this is violating both the court and his probation. Should I take him back to court, or should I not even bother? I’ll add again that I have a husband who takes care of my son, my son calls him daddy..he’s been there for him and will continue to do so, so we really don’t even want my ex’s money..

Sorry that this was so long guys! It’s just that I just got back from court and am frustrated. Thanks in advance for reading this and giving your input!
By the way, the judge dismissed the case since he hasn’t showed up these past 2 times, so I no longer have to allow him to see my son..unless he decides to take me back to court
The visitation case was dismissed. The jusge said I don’t have to let him see him if I don’t want to because there is no order for it. I have full custody.

We tried getting him to sign over his rights, but he just got angry and said no. Meanwhile, this past September was the first time he’s seen our son in 3 years

Best answer(s):

Answer by whoknew?!?!
He’s a worthless jerk, he obviously doesn’t care. Your little guy is soooooooo much better of without him. My mom raised 3 girls all on here own, and we are all happy and successful.
Good LUCK!!!!!!

Answer by Amy
family law is a very sticky situation. i went through all of this when i was growing up and had to fight my ex. ultimately, it really depends on the laws of your state on what you can and can’t do legally. i know in indiana, you cannot withhold your child to the other parent if there is a visitation/custody agreement. it doesn’t matter if they are current on their child support or not. BUT he would be in contempt of court by not paying his support while on probation (they have to be “law abiding” while on probation). most child support divisions are overwhelmed and you really have to keep on them. report every non-payment. they’ll eventually pick him up.

“I’ll add again that I have a husband who takes care of my son, my son calls him daddy..he’s been there for him and will continue to do so, so we really don’t even want my ex’s money..”….would your ex be willing to sign over rights to your husband so your son can have a real dad?

Answer by Ellie BatMILF
It’s all a game to him. He is bringing you back in to court and jerking you around because he knows he can and there is nothing you can do about it. If you are serious about not wanting his money…and because I know a little about your situation…you might want to consider just ignoring him completely. Let him lapse on his payments, don’t take him back to court…and then after a year of no contact file to terminate his parental rights. I can even help you with the petition if you need me to. I’ve done a few of them for my county and I’m sure the petitions for yours are similar since it is all the same Family law in our state.

Answer by Me ILF
I would let his PO know and try to get the child support. If nothing else you can put it away for him for a car or toward collage.
The least his father can do is pay for his child, even tho he has nothing to do with him. Why should he get away scott free!
I have a friend who hasn’t see a child support check in 3 years but the father take his kids every weekend and for weeks at a time in the summer and is very involved with his children so she doesn’t push the issue. I don’t blame her, at least he is involved and does buy them cloths when they need it and takes them school shopping.
Oh and he is a contractor (privet) so no one can just take it out of his check and with work having its ups and downs sometimes money is good with him and other times not.

Answer by Busy Mommy
I think he’s doing it because he can, and to “prove” in his mind that he cares. He sounds selfish and immature, how wonderful you and your son were able to move on to a better situation.

Answer by Bullwinkle BILF
He stopped caring for one reason or another. It does not matter why as he wont tell you the truth either way. Suffice to say he stopped caring.

I would allow the authorities to take him back to court. No need for you to do so unless the authorities will not do so AND unless you know where he is working. If you take him back to court without his work info then you face him when he may lie.

Answer by ♥Mrs Chαrlí♥
It is good he didn’t turn up then Rosie.

Why don’t you apply for the Courts to terminate his Parental rights, so your Hubby can adopt him?
I don’t know if that will work or not.

I think your X is just trying to get at you. He sees how happy your family is and is jealous, so tries to make you unhappy.

Good Luck Rosie

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