HomeChild SupportWhy does everyone always say “make sure you get child support?”?
Posted in Child Support on 9th January 2011

Why does everyone always say “make sure you get child support?”?
I understand kids cost a lot to raise… My mom raised 3 of us by herself (her exhusband/my biological father worked for cash to avoid paying support) and no support from the government, other than Medicaid (just health insurance).

I do not want my son around his father because of things I found out he does after I found out I was pregnant…. Plus with his job, I doubt I would see a dime of support (we had the same job/worked together). He’s also one of those guys who would fight for custody to just spite me and then leave our son with a baby sitter while he worked, played poker, or got drunk! If I was to ever get married and my husband wanted to adopt my son, I doubt he would sign over rights to allow him to.

How do you honestly know when its best to file for support or not??
There is very little doubt in my mind he wouldn’t get any form of custody, its just the chance of him leaving the country with my son…. During a “supervised visit”
Ayden’s mom: Its a boy! Lol not daughter, son was right.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Justice for Caylee Marie
Well sometimes even if they pay support, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be granted ANY custody. But people say go after child support, because nobody else wants to pay it…and its the parents’ responsiblity

Answer by ladyscientist
Child support and visitation are two separate entities. Don’t get them confused. All women should file for child support if they are so entitled: it takes two to tango, and both parents should shoulder some of the responsibility.

No man (or woman, if that applies) should be able to create a child and then walk off like nothing ever happened. There are consequences.

Answer by Johnny says Happy New Year!
Here’s the deal – just like ladyscientist said – visitation/custody and support are two different things in the courts eyes.

My son’s dad works under the table too – to get out of paying support. All my money goes to bills and daycare and stuff like that. I hardly have any extra money left to buy him toys/clothes. THAT’s where I want the child support to play in.

Geez, what’s up with these guys who believe they aren’t responsible for paying support for their kids???

Anyways, it’s totally your call. My opinion, my son’s dad OWES it to my son to help support him and get him the things he wants/needs.

PS – we went to court for custody too… He ended up getting supervised visits at my house for a while until Johnny got use to him and then it would go over to his house…. He never showed for any of the visits, I took him BACK to court and now the judge has ruled that I’m in charge of ALL visits from now on. Court systems sometimes DO work.

Answer by Thinking
Definately file for child support. Like another answerer said, child support and visitation are two totally different things. For instance, tons of dads get to see their kids but aren’t paying court ordered child support. I kind of understand where you’re coming from. I’m helping to raise my boyfriend’s son, and he hasn’t seen his mom in 2 1/2 years for various reasons (she’s a piece of crap). She won’t get a job, so she never pays child support. However, there were two years where she had to file taxes under her current husband and my boyfriend recieved money. My grandmother worked in welfare and told us our best bet was to deposit the money into a certain kind of savings account that his son can’t get into until he’s 18 or 21 or something (I wish I could remember what it’s called). That way, the money can’t be counted as assets on taxes (his kid recieves free medical care, and we can’t lose that because of how ridiculously expensive his meds are). It also can’t be counted as spent child support! There’s ways you can do it by yourself and still get the child support a safe way (that money could pay for your kid’s college!!!).

If you have a d*mn good reason and a great lawyer, you could go to court to get his parenting rights taken away so your future husband could adopt. Big and hard process, but not impossible.

Answer by Aydens Mommy
every case is unique.. i don’t think there’s a time to know it’s best to file for support?
it’s a decision you need to make based on your situation.
if your concerned about all the things he “might” do like you listed in your question and are positive that you don’t want a dime from him then i wouldn’t even put him on the birth certificate.
will he be there when your sons born? by not putting him on you have to understand you’ll never be able to file for support.
but then you won’t have a problem with a new husband being able to adopt him….

like i said.. it’s all up to you and i don’t think there’s a right or wrong time.
my sons dad is on the birth certificate, we were together when had my son but we’re not now. i don’t have anything in court with him because he doesn’t give me trouble. never about when he can see him and when he cant. he too works under the table so i’d never get a dime even if i filed. alot of people believe though, even if they don’t work to still file for it because it’ll build and build and build and one day he’ll get locked up. i don’t get the point of that though.. i don’t hate my sons dad as much to get him thrown in jail. he practically has no family so he’d pry never get out. in my case, i’m lucky enough to make really good money and be able to provide everything my son needs.. a roof over his head, insurance, food, clothes, toys, etc.. don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to get money but i dont need it.

so when making your decision just know that if you do file for support, and he works under the table and don’t pay you, it will build and it will go on his credit and he will never be able to buy something like a house or whatever until you get paid… or you can just forget he ever existed and do it on your own with no arguement from him.

ADD: I’m sorry i meant your daughter… i’m so used to saying son.

Answer by Southern Belle ☆
You can have child support setup regardless of whether or not he works “under the table” for cash. He would still be required to provide proof-of-income and if he files a tax return the government can seize it and give it to you.

I’m curious as to what you found out that he does while you’re pregnant. Unless the guy is a total pile…he does have the right to see his child and to be a father to his child. I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking…

Nonetheless, he does not have to pay child support, child support is not a reason to withhold visitation, and regardless of what he does he still has a right to visit his child and have a relationship with the child. Whether he does or not is his decision.

Answer by All ILFs pray for Laura Garza
If I could do it all over again, I would have never put the father on my son’s (james lee lol) birth certificate. It would have made things alot easier. My ex didnt show any interest in our son until my husband wanted to adopt him. I’m actually going to court today. He’s trying to get joint custody and visitation, meanwhile he is on probation for not paying child support. He started paying when that happened, but I haven’t received anything in a few months. Sure I could take him to court and he’d probably go to jail, but I don’t want his money. I just wanna be left alone!

Answer by Roulo (Meia 11/4/08) #2 Due 9/11
I think you are confusing child support with visitation or custody. Child support is just monthly payments to help pay for the child. It takes two to make a child and it’s not fair for the mother/father to just up and leave after the “fun” part is over. So that’s why they (if they are inclined) file for child support. That way it’s help with the child and the MIA spouse isn’t off having fun all the time while the spouse who is still around has to care for the children alone.

Answer by Rosie
Because you deserve support.

Answer by az_mommma
It just all depends.

Example, I am divorcing my husband soon…a month and a half after we split up I learned I was pregnant. I left my husband because he was cruel and mean to my children (not shared). He would yell, scream so loud he spit, grab them by the arm, get in their face… I couldn’t stand it. He felt he had a “right” to act that way. In my mind any man that thinks it’s okay to do that to someone else’s child.. well, I can only imagine how he would act if it was his child.

So I’m not going to court for anything from him. Am keeping things out of the paperwork for the divorce.. just don’t want to deal with his stupidity and meanness and don’t want this child to ever be subject to that.

Ya know, no matter how many people tell me “go for support” I won’t. He ignored his first son for 14 years of his life… the only thing that reminded him he had a son at all was the support. I’m not leaving any reminders.

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