HomeWorking MothersWhy do people keep telling me that what I plan on doing is “bad mothering”?
Posted in Working Mothers on 26th January 2011

Why do people keep telling me that what I plan on doing is “bad mothering”?
OK, here’s the think, I’m expecting, due in Mid-May, the child’s father has no problems with being on diaper duty when the kid is born since I am the one who make the income in our house.
Basically the traditional roles of parenting are going to be reversed with us, me being the one who works and keeps food on the table and him being the one who stays home with the kid and doing the house work (well, at least when I’m not home). Why do people keep telling me that doing that will make me a bad mother? The kid will be cared for, will be fed, will be loved and will be safe, what’s so wrong with that?

What, do people expect me to give up my work to be the traditional mom? So what if the female is head of the house?

I’m asking, honestly, what is wrong with me being the income bringer and him caring for the child, after all he is more of the child caring type than I am, and I happen to be good at bringing in the money. Just asking, what do you guys see wrong with the plan?
Don’t worry, I plan on spending plenty of time with them once I’m done working for the day, after all, who else is gonna teach them how to catch crawfish and how to defend themselves? Surely not their softy of a father (though I love him to death he lacks the outdoorsy side). I am looking forward to teaching them how to play foot ball though. I just don’t know how I will handle the crying when they are still babies…….how do ya’ll do it?!?!? Crying babies drive me nuts XD
Sorry if saying “the kid” sounds a little cold, it’s just how we talk, since I don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl it’s kinda hard to know exactly what term to use for them. I always grew up hearing a baby referred to as kid so I guess that’s all it is.

I’ll be honest, I’m not the normal warm mothering type, that’s another reason why we think this would work better because he has the warm loving side that I fall short on.
Yea…my “job” pays better, mostly due to the fact that I own my own business. I’m one of the unlucky people who can’t breast feed so, sadly, we’ve no real choice but to bottle feed from the start (I still feel bad about it but I know it’s out of my hands).

Of course when business is slow he’ll end up bringing the little one to my shop, so, even when working I’ll get to see them while at work sometimes.

Best answer(s):

Answer by sammy’s mammy
i could not do it. flat out. but if its the right choice for you then do it.

Answer by christianmom
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you get in quality time with the baby too.

Answer by Caiti S
Absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m surprised people are saying that!

Answer by what ever
There is nothing wrong with your game plan. Why do you care so much what other people think of it?

Answer by kimmie k
I dont see any problem there

Answer by ohmyxjulia06

Answer by jba914
I dont think there is anything wrong with that. My uncle was a stay at home dad while my aunt worked just because he is a general contractor and can have a much more flexible schedule. There is nothing wrong with it if it works for you guys!

Answer by Juxtaposed.
I think its fine. No offense people but the “mother stay at home, cooking and cleaning” era has passed. Women are free to do whatever they please. In your case, I think it’s perfectly normal for you to work while your husband takes care of the child. But a kid still needs his mother because somethings dads just don’t understand.

Answer by Chrissie
There is nothing wrong with your plan. The only thing you do need to be careful of is that you still bond with your child, spend time loving on him/her and caring for him/her. There is a bond between mother and child that is different than a child and father, so even if you have this plan (which sounds fine to me) you still need that connection with your child.

Answer by NF19
i see nothin wrong with your plan hahahahahha

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