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Posted in Working Mothers on 4th August 2011

The One Minute Parent

‘We want to do so much for our kids, take them out, play with them, make them feel special and loved but where is the time? ’. I have often heard parents lamenting about the dearth of time. Working mothers crib about the hectic schedules, housewives complain of the responsibilities and fathers justify that there is nothing more they can do within the limit of 24 hours. 

Parents always overlook the small things and keep waiting for the big things to happen to make their child feel happy. But relationship with children is built on small joys, which doesn’t take days or hours to create. Parents keep planning and waiting for ‘spare’ time and miss upon those few minutes, which can become memories for a lifetime.  

On one busy day , I had to rush back home from the office just to change for the next meeting. I felt guilty for not spending enough time with my son. I thought I ‘ll explain and say sorry to him. As I entered his room I forgot about my apology and said, ‘I feel so good to see you. I am really tired, wish I could get some tonic’ and just opened my arms. My son hugged me tightly and planted a kiss on my cheek ‘that’s for double energy’.

I walked out of the house feeling fresh. As I sat arranging my papers in the car , I came across the book I had been reading ‘ The one minute manager’. I smiled at myself as  today I had learnt to be a one minute parent.

It doesn’t require days, not even hours but just a few minutes to establish the special bond of love with your child.

You look for a chance when you can have a warm chat with your child and tell him how much you care, that he is the most special, know about his interests and his disliking, tell him how much you believe in his abilities so that he feels encouraged. Well never ever leave a chance when you can have a heart to heart talk with your child. But also do remember that expressing your love for your child, motivating him, making him feel important does not depend upon time.

When your child shows you his drawing, it takes just a minute to look at it and say ‘It is great’. When he asks you to see her dance steps, it just takes a while to sit and clap for him. And if you have another minute, you can shake a leg with him. As you walk by, pat your child’s back as he is doing his homework. Answer his question, even if it means giving a break to your conversation with your colleague. Take a minute to snuggle up with him in bed before you doze off to ease your day’s stress. In fact, these moments with your child will be the best way to de- stress yourself.  

Ditto when it comes to enjoying with your child. You don’t have to wait till the Sunday evening or till you have time for a holiday to have fun with your child. Try having bath with your child, have pillow fights with him, build houses of mud in the garden, compete with him forwho can make the funniest face, get wet in the rain with him, play football in the park or simply roll over with him on the bed. These moments will make your child feel more loved and cared for than any outing can.

Once you bind your relationship with your child with love and not time, you’ll find you are enjoying your relationship even more. And you’ll see the bond between you two getting stronger, the love blossoming like never before.

Tip: When you will start believing in making each minute with your child a special moment, your relationship with your child will no longer depend upon the availability of time.   

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