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how can i get my mom to control herself?

Posted in Working Mothers on 26th April 2012

how can i get my mom to control herself?
so i don’t know why, but recently my mom has overreacted to everything more than usual. the fact that she already overreacts alot more than other moms is already bad but recently shes been always getting mad over dumb things and she is constantly shouting at me to do this and do that. she doesnt even ask me to do it. she commands me with a threat like “take out the trash or ill cut off your fingers” And i know shes been working hard being a ‘single’ mom but she overreacts over everything. i always talk to her with respect even when she shouts at me like that with that death glare kind of threat but i cant do everything she “asks” at once and when i tell her that she just shouts “SHUT UP!!”. she thinks when i dont reply with “yes mother” then its considered “talking balk to her” or “attitude” and everytime i dont reply with “yes mother” when she tells me something, she shouts at me or screams at me. not just a normal scream but the type of scream as if someone has just died or has been slaughtered to the extreme. and she does this EVERY DAY. she threatens to nearly kill me everyday. and when she does hit me, even though it doesnt hurt that much, my human reaction is to block it right?? so when block her hits, she thinks im “hitting” her. i tell her “no mom, its just my reaction to block when someone attacks me” then she tells me to “SHUT UP” and starts screaming at me as if im the one who is beating her. then i get punished for supposedly “beating her” when all i did was block her beating me. so even though i show her my respect, she takes things WAYY over the limit. I dont wanna do anything stupid like “call the police” or “call parent abuse” even though i know if i did call any of those, just seeing at what she does, they’ll def. know shes a “crazy” parent. what are some things i can do? btw, my mom is asian. just fyi

Best answer(s):

Answer by Satan
Actually, those are your only options. I would tell you to ask her what problems she has experienced, but the way you described her, it would clearly start something ugly. So either call parent abuse or continue to put up with her, your choice.

Answer by star
I understand what you’re saying. I lived it. That mom never changes. She may put it away when others are around, or be good here and there, but it always creeps back out.

If you have a relative you feel close to, call and ask if you can come live with them. Just tell them what you’ve told us here. Ask for their confidence first, and not to discuss it with your mom. Sometimes a good friend’s parents will take you in. Another option is to talk to your school counselor or a trusted teacher to get yourself some help to deal with the problem. Or you can call a national hotline for teens. Here’s one I found for you: Call the one listed under Abuse, cause that’s what’s going on. You can call for help to talk to someone, not to report your mom.

Unless you’re completely against it, you could start thinking about joining the military soon ~ to get out of there. Just a thought.

Good luck.

One year old gags herself for attention, how to stop her?

Posted in Toddlers on 18th December 2010

One year old gags herself for attention, how to stop her?
My niece is one and a half years with a great mother. But, whenever she throws a tantrum, normally during supper, she sometimes shoves her whole hand down her throat until she gags/throws up. Her mom thinks she is too young for hot-sauce or nasty sprays on her hands & we can’t always pull her hand away fast enough so what else can she do to stop this habit? Is it normal?

(im not sure what you call a “toddler” but she toddles so i put it under this category.) 🙂
well, once she throws up we have to pay attention to her because we have to clean her up. :/

Best answer(s):

Ignore her if it truly is for attention.

Answer by K-Jo
This is normal and is just for attention. My first used to get himself that worked up that he would throw up. The best thing is to ignore the behavior. The more you fuss about it the more she will do it, even if she is getting the wrong kind of attention.

Answer by corky
tell her that if she pukes, she has to wear those clothes for the rest of the day, …well i guess that wouldnt work for a 1 year old. with hot sauce she will only do it a few times, then she will stop, probably a good idea

Answer by peaches6
Ignore her! As long as she throws up or coughs, she’s okay. Like you say, she’s doing it for attention. As soon as she notices nobody’s paying any attention to her, she should get the hint. Some babies go through that stage. Good Luck!

Answer by NiCole
Maybe if she is using it for attention they should stop giving her attention for it? Maybe she should have a consequence is not to early to start don’t mean beat her..but if she acts this way at the table maybe she should have to sit in a corner while the rest of the family enjoys their meal..after a couple of times of doing this she will realize that it’s not an effective attention grabber and hopefully the behavior will stop

Answer by mel \
It sounds like she has learned to control her parents pretty well. I am not sure how normal that is, but I think her mom should talk to the pediatrician to see what would be a safe way to help end this unhealthy behavior as soon as possible. And I agree she is to young for burning spray, she could wipe her eyes or get it in her mouth when she is just feeding herself. She would not understand at all. Maybe you guys should just ignore her when and after she does it so she will quit thinking it brings her attention. I don’t know though. Good luck!

Answer by GodLover
they are toddlers once they start to walk : D

well. i have never seen this before. may i suggest have her help clean up the puke and maybe whatever she was throwing a tantrum about. dont let her have it. no matter what show her that thowing a tantrum (and pukking) will not let you get what you want.

hope this helps

Answer by L
You really do need to try not to make a fuss when she does this. It is tricky because like you said when she throws us you need to clean her. I would suggest cleaning it up with no reaction…just as if you were cleaning a ketchup mark off the table. When you are done sit back down like nothing ever happened. I really would not try hot sauce though. She may get it in her eyes and that is not fun to deal with. Good luck, this is a short-lived phase.

Answer by alysiac78
at one yr i wouldn’t think she is doing this for just no reason id wonder if her throat hurts when she is crying and at her age she puts her hands down her throat because she thinks she is going to help it id take her to the dr how long she been doing this?

Answer by Liz O
Yes it is normal behavior. Many children do this while they are teething and even later for attention. You just have to stay on top of them and keep putting her hands down firmly telling her no. Get her mind on something else…like a toy or something. I wish I could help more….but this is the only advice I have to give. Good luck. I hope she stops this soon.