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Suggestions on what to do with adult child that is very disrespectful to their grandparent?

Posted in Child Care on 14th January 2012

Suggestions on what to do with adult child that is very disrespectful to their grandparent?
My mother has always been there for my daughter and lived with her father for a while. He did not “take care” of her as she needed to be so if she got a cold or a bug of some sort my mother would drive to their home to give her medication. Later on my mother loaned my daughter the money to buy a car. Daughter was late with payments Alot. Then my daughters car broke down and mom paid to get it fixed, then my daughter lost her job and her auto insurance got behind 2 months, so mom came to the rescue yet again to keep my daughter license from being suspended. Now my daughter has a decent job, her and mom agreed to a date to start her car payments again, and my daughter was late yet again. Plus during all this there were lies on top of lies out this and that. So my daughter being late on that payment was the straw that broke the camels back. Mom wrote her a note explain her disappointment in my daughter. And my daughter responded in the most rude, careless, hurtful way. Just wrong. She burned her bridge so to speak.
She was not like this before she started dating the fool she is with, guess I should have put that into the equation. She is not spoiled, far from it. She is however, very materialistic. True enough, my mom has helped and bailed her out several times. But that came to an end when she was so rude and disrespectful. I just do not know how to handle this this time, she gets this “I don’t give a F***” attitude when you try and point something out that she has done wrong. She does not have the ability to admit when she is wrong, humbly…..always with defiance.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Freebird Tina
First off your daughter is seemingly a spoiled person who has learned the behavior of this by your mother. It will have to start with your Mother saying enough is enough and letting your daughter know that she is NOT to be treated like this and that she will no longer help her. If anything your daughter will have to learn that in life nothing is simply handed to her and with a loan company they will not accept her excuses and rude comments but repo the car instead. So sorry to hear this and unless the grandmother puts her foot down for real, the behavior is still going to carry out. And you being mom, make SURE you do not give into her as well.

Answer by Patriot-2
Stop rescuing, step back, and let her grow up.

Answer by Ashley
Tell her what she did was very wrong and tell her all what her grandmother did for her (and what would of happened if she didn’t help her out). She isn’t a very responsible adult, the (very good intending) grandmother should stop bailing her out (that’s why she acts the way she does because she knows that her g-ma will take care of it for her).

Answer by Mrphilly
First off can’t believe both, you and grandma, let her go that far. If i was ever to raise my voice, let alone do all the sh*t she did, to my parents/grand i would get my ass beat an not be able to sit for weeks. She’s a spoiled ass brat, plain and simple. Idk if your mom is nice thgh considering she put up with all of that im guessing she is. Tell her to stop doing the brat favors and let her deal with things on her own, see she gets when she needs help.

You need to tell your mom she needs to stop getting pushed around and take charge. Your daughter needs to stop the childish sh*t and learn some fucking respect if the grandma can’t tell her you need too since she’s your kid. Yo grandma been helping her out with everything and thats the thanks she gets? Way she acts im surprised she hasn’t got ‘taught’ a lesson from another, way she acting won’t be long untill she runs into someone that isn’t going to up with her sh*t.

Answer by Leo Smith
that she will no longer help her. If anything your daughter will have to learn that in life nothing is simply handed to her and with a loan company they will not accept her excuses and rude comments but repo the car instead. So sorry to hear this and unless the grandmother puts her foot down for real, the behavior is still going to carry out. And you being mom, make SURE you do not give into her as well. >>

My brother constantly tells everyone to shut up? He is very disrespectful and my mom doesnt care?

Posted in Child Care on 14th January 2011

My brother constantly tells everyone to shut up? He is very disrespectful and my mom doesnt care?
He is 10 years old and within the past year he’s got really nasty and will say “shut up”, :”I don’t care”, “I hate you” and threaten to hurt anyone for any reason. If someone says “dont say shut up”, he will keep saying it. So I get annoyed by this and sometimes I sit down and tell him that its a disrespectful thing to do. He doesnt listen. The only time that he listens is when I restrain him, like hold his hands so he cant hit me, but I never hurt him in any way, more like Im stopping his tantrum by restraining him and letting him cool down and talking to him in a calm voice.

But if I do this when my mom is around, she will tell me to not hurt him, same with my grandma, even though I am not hurting him at all. They become enraged and yell at me if I do this, and when he says Shut Up, if I tell him to stop, they yell at me and tell me to leave the room. It has got to the point where if I am sitting too close to him while hes being rude, they will yell at me and tell me to leave.

Long story short, he is their favorite child, and they put up with him being disrespectful to everyone and even hitting people. When he hits me, if I even block his punches by holding his arms, they tell me to Stop hurting him. Im not at all! Here he is hitting me and yet they yell at me like Im the bad one. They are so lenient with him with everything. He literally plays video games from 8 AM to 8 PM, they feed him nothing but fast food, NEVER any vegetables, and they dont make him brush his teeth. I really dont want him raised this way because I was (but I was never angry or violent) and if Id had some chores Id be so much better in life. I feel like my mom messed up with me and gave me no responsibilities or chores, and shes doing it again. He eats so terribly and gets no exercise, I really want her to lay down some rules, but she doesnt and babies him. Buys him everything he wants, even though she cant pay bills. So how can my brother stop being so spoiled and given everything that he wants, and on top of that be rude and violent toward people? My hands are tied so is there anything I can do?

Best answer(s):

Answer by ♀ ~Chris~ ♀
I think you should call child services, because that just sounds ridiculous. He’s going to get in a lot of trouble at school if he keeps that up.

Answer by kate
He does it because you guys pay attention to him then ,
You even get into the restraining / wrestling thing which he loves .

if you REALLY want him to Stop , start ignoring him like he is NOT there .
Look in his direction but like he’s invisible at something behind him .
Start talking about anything But Not him .

The more you act like he is NOT in the room , Not there and you hear other stuff on TV or radio or someone else talking .
The faster He will Change his attitude , but as long as YOU act like a sucker , he will Keep on playing you .

When he STOPS getting attention , he’ll Stop doing the stuff that is rude but gets him all the attention he wants now .

Try it , it works .

OK , you had such a long long lonnnnnggggggggg post ,
( which next to NO one reads that much bla bla )
I missed the violence part but for that I would just yell
to your mom ,
” The baby needs his diaper changed ” .

Start equating violence with wearing a baby diaper and maybe he’ll get over it but given your parents , maybe not .

>

Answer by Amy S
organise all your and his friends to go round and give him the most thorough, prolonged tickling ever