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Cute jokes/stories for you?

Posted in Working Mothers on 28th May 2012

Cute jokes/stories for you?
The Way Children See Things!

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the
toilet a few da ys ago.

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from
his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents.”

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
the phone. “It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then
she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s
hitting the bottle.”

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, ! ! ! “What’s the matter haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth
fairy will never believe this!”

DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”
“And why not, darling?” “You know that it always gives you a headache the
next morning.”

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting
my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write and they
won’t let me talk!”

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What ! he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found”, the boy called
out.” What have you got there, dear?” With astonishment in the young boy’s
voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear

Best answer(s):

Answer by Waynes Angel
very very cute two thumbs up

Answer by amhouse84
Very cute. Kids will say anything!

Answer by dipperwidget
these are old but cute

Answer by Laprincessa1182
Very very cute. thanx for the smile.

Answer by queenmackerel
Nice and clean! Kids say the darnedest things!

Answer by Pd
ha ha i like the ketchup one

Answer by paddy j
I am wasting my time on my korean language class, I cant read i cant write , even the teacher dont allow me to talk !!!!!!!!!!! hhhhha

I just cant get enough this

Answer by myastar123
so adorable, if you have anymore please post them!

Answer by girlnextdoor
lol 🙂

Answer by Electric
hahahah..nice ones….I liked them all…especially ‘more nudity’….LOL

Mothers don’t kids say the darnedest things that are just too cute?

Posted in Working Mothers on 26th March 2011

Mothers don’t kids say the darnedest things that are just too cute?
LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME, AND DO NOT HINDER THEM, FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD BELONGS TO SUCH AS THESE.
( MARK 10:14 *NIV )
.
“Why God Made Moms ”
( The following answers were given by elementary school children to the following questions )

Question—-“Why Did God Make Mothers?””
The answers:
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

Q—–“How Did God Make Mothers?”
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just
used bigger parts
.
Q—-“What Ingredients Are Mother’s Made Of ?”
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they
He mostly used string I think.

Q—-“Why Did God Give You Your Mother And not Some Other
Mom?”
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s
moms like me.

Q—-“What Kind Of Little Girl Was Your Mom?”
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other
stuff…
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

Q—-“What Did Mom Need To Know About Dad Before She
Married Him?”
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does
he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $ 800 a year? Did
he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Q—-“Why Did Your Mom Marry Your Dad ?”
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom
eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Q—-“Who’s The Boss At Your House?”
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s
such a goofball
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff
under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do
than dad.

Q—-“What’s The Difference Between Moms And Dads?”
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work
at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power
’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at
your friend’s.

Q—-“What Does Your Mom Do In Her Spare Time?”
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

Q—-“What Would It Take To Make Your Mom Perfect?”
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some
kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

Q—-“If You Could Change One Thing About Your Mom What
Would It Be?”
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.
I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my
sister who did it and not me.
4-April, I copied it, I don’t type too fast and I get too bored if I sit too long.

Best answer(s):

Answer by hzleyes
That was great especially the Diet!
Thanks and have a great Mother’s day!

Answer by Alice
Haha…lol that was fantastic!..lol

Answer by Keith M
Not a mother, but had a great laugh. Those are precious.
Our grand daughter when asked what she would be when she grew up told us she wanted to get as big as her older brother so she could cut her hair off and run around without a shirt.

Answer by Brat
That was cute thanks for sharing

Answer by k4yl4♥
aw! thanks for sharing!