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If you have you ever yelled at the top of your lungs while crying like this.?if so then why,and how old are u?

Posted in Working Mothers on 17th October 2012

If you have you ever yelled at the top of your lungs while crying like this.?if so then why,and how old are u?
Only if you have…
Why was that?
I am embrassed…What would our 8 family neighbours (including their sons) think and tell about me….I don’t want to see them, they may not know what was going on…

Actually after a long period of time being patient about so many pressures that were on me in our home, (such as my mothers impassionate reactions about ‘every little stuffs’, and on the other hand my younger brothers ‘loud music’ (Metallica and those kind of styles), that he used to listen on most of the hours in a day regularly, in the living room and his room next by, regradless of how many times, and on how many styles it was told to him and he didn’t change and even made it louder and my compact program of computer works that I have to do before deadlines at home, yesterday suddenly couldn’t control myself while I was back from the gym at the morning and was relaxed and aimed to concentrate on my works, suddenly again the ‘loud music’ began and he doesn’t even about others who live in home, (in such situations the only way seems to be waiting…but how long? he is somehow bully and my father is too aggresive for being told such things to, and my mother on the other side is so fearful and a good growler on every little stuffs with me(though not with my father or my brother who is so faulty, just with me most of all, though she and my father both know somehow that it’s all their faults)
Anyway, this time I came home with mind full of good energies to start my work and my mother started growling again, and talking with a hateful voice and commanding and then continued telling me “you should always get me pissed of , etc” and snooted, and I was really wondering why “I told her I don’t made you pissed off!” she again snooted and repeated the same thing, and a kind of wild music (I guess one of Metallica of sth) was also vibrating the home, while my relaxed lazy brother was walking and snapping fingers in the living room.
I started crying and at the same time yelling at the top of my lungs that “I don’t make you pissed off” and my bully brother joined to support my mother and while my mom was just gazing me (as she always tries to be innocent in these cases) and that continued for about 30 mins as my brother started saying bully things and I had to convince both of them.
And I was really full of both of them, it wasn’t for that incident only, it was for its last night and days before that too, that I was quite or tolerating them.
Usually when I want to talk with them they never take it seriously, or always blame me.
Well ” I even was so anxious about my mothers way of communication with me that I shouted “she is not my mother” , but all at the top of the lungs that even my voice changed after that (though is returning hopefully), but all the neighbours heard me, I’m sure. however I shouted “I don’t care if the neighbours hear me or not” but now I just feel that though the pressure was all on me and they don’t know anything about the situation and may judge but I could still be patient than having to see them after all of this incident.
I just needed to talk with you and like to know your ideas about the neibour part specifically. I’m a girl, most of them have young sons who they also heard me.
And it was the first time that I heard my voice like that….I couldn’t be louder than that, I was really yelling while crying with all my energy!….but believe me it was the last time….
It only had one advantage and that was my brother promised to not make his music that loud as I angrily shouted “I don’t have to play a music in my room to not hear your music”
Please tell your honest thoughts, and any similar experiences you’ve had..
I am specifically embrassed about the ‘neighbours’ part as they are all quite and self composed , though I know they have never had my situations,
But I feel embrassed to see them as voice can be heard in this building from every apartment easily and they all have so many young boys at my age that I know they were all home at that time.
I’m almost 26 and I am trying and planning to get independent as soon also but it needs a little time,however, most of the singles live with their families in our country before getting married.
To the first answerer: No!! I have some work plans that take a little while and also in our country singles (specifically girls) don’t live independently, however I have lived in another city during my university years. I guessed before that some readers only read the last sentece thought.

Best answer(s):

Answer by rijim2001
You are 26. It’s time for you to move out and be independent and live on your own. What are you waiting for, a white knight on a white horse to carry you away?

Answer by Tanya968
It’s hard to say because you don’t tell your culture or location but apparently English is not your primary language.

It really doesn’t matter so much what your culture is –
in these modern times life is very stressful, and living with family when you are a grown woman (esp when repressed by culture and circumstance that makes it necessary) is very difficult.
That puts you in a position where you are an adult, yet expected to behave in a submissive way (as a child or servant) to the family.

Yes, i have cried and screamed as an adult woman, esp when angry, hurt and frustrated. At times this was in apartment, other times while in a house. I am in U.S.
i don’t know what neighbors thought – except they never said or acted different. Maybe they just understood that people lose their temper sometimes.

I don’t know your culture, but whatever it is, people living in the apartment probably know how difficult it is to live with family in close quarters and how they get on your nerves at times.
In the past it might have been unusual for a woman to let her feelings out in this way (in your culture), but today everyone is under so much stress in life, I think they would understand.

Just use your time constructively as you say when you were working in gym and studying. If possible, when brother annoys you, go out for a walk or talk to a neighbor woman or sit in the garden (just to find a calm place for a few minutes).

Good luck in the future.

Is a crying baby an invitation to instruct the mother how to care for her baby, or touch her baby uninvited?

Posted in Working Mothers on 10th January 2011

Is a crying baby an invitation to instruct the mother how to care for her baby, or touch her baby uninvited?
I had the most horrific experience today at the grocery store,
involving my gassy two month old son and several strangers with boundary issues.

Now, my son rarely cries.
Infact, besides the first day he was born, I haven’t heard him cry besides this past week. At this point, I think that now that he’s learned how to cry, its kind of a novelty to him.

Anyway, today he was in a good mood, and we had some errands to run, so I packed him up in the stroller and walked down to the grocery store. He was happy and smiley the whole way there, but as soon as we got there he starts crying. I get to work trying to soothe him near the entrance of the store.

I’m working the gas out, bouncing him in my lap, singing to him, etc…
and thankfully most people just walk past, at most casting a sympathetic glance
but one man in paticular felt the need to stand there for ten minutes instructing me on how to burp him, and asking repeatedly “you want me to hold him, I can give you a break”
I really wasn’t stressed out by my son crying- babies cry, thats what they do, and its our job as parents to soothe them, no big deal
however I was stressed out by this strange man standing over me, insisting on “helping” me

so finally he leaves
I figure I should get my son into the air conditioning before he over heated
so I take my son inside, and into the bathroom
(thinking that the bathroom would have less foot-traffic)
and wouldn’t you know, as soon as I walk in, behind me walks in another concerned stranger

she walks right up to me a strokes my son’s face while I’m trying to work the gas out
she sticks her face literally 2 inches from his face
I try to be polite, I simply walk away thinking she’ll get the message
no- she follows me and literally tries to take my son out of my arms!
I turn my body so she can’t take him
but she still holds his foot and coo’s to him as if she knows him
eventually I just said “ma’am, you can go back to your shopping, I’m sure my son will be fine here with me”
at which point she rolled her eyes and said “teenage mothers” before she walked away

and thats the funny thing- I’m NOT a teenage mother!
I’m a married woman in my 20’s! and I’m a good mom, no matter what a stranger may say.

Now, I know these people are well intentioned
but I don’t think it was a coincidence that I was able to calm my son as soon as I was left alone with him

Best answer(s):

Answer by Amy
Wow that’s pretty bad. There was definitely no invitation, but if someone touches your kid it’s an invitation to ‘touch’ them back.

Answer by Richard’s Angel
crap i know what you mean. i am not subtle though in dropping hints, i will give a death glare and if i need to, i use some not so nice language, *hint hint*, and they get the idea

Answer by islandgirl
Well I hope not..
I hate when ppl come up and start touching my stomach..
At first I was polite and asked them not to do it.. but now i just shove their hands away..
I don’t know why people always want to get involve in affairs that do not concern them…
My mom had the same problem with my little twin sisters..
We couldn’t go anywhere without someone coming over the stroller asking if they were twins and wanting to touch them..
Its soo annoying..
You handled the situation well..
I hope I am as calm and collected as you were when that happens..

Answer by Bree
Wow, if anyone ever touched my child (not that I have one yet), I would not have been near as calm as you are. You handled this very well. From what you said, you do sound like a good mom, and handled your son and the strangers really well.

In no way is your son crying an invitation for anything they did.
I think maybe a “Is he okay?” would be nice, but to try to instruct you, or worse, try to take your child from you and touch him is way over the line.

Answer by Tiffany
Im 21 and had a similiar experience! Yes I am young but wouldnt it be worse for us to let a stranger A STRANGER! hold our baby?? I mean what in the world! Your not paranoid or anything people are nuts! a strange man just deciding to insist to hold him or a women too? I have let 1 stranger hold my baby when i was flying alone and we were seated on the airplane and I was tyring to get a bottle reayd this nice pilot sitting next to me asked me if i wanted help and have him hold my son. seeing as i was all alone un seatbelted and needing a bottle i let him hold my son (plus he was on the inside seat and seemed real nice) other then that i say thank you to the people tht say i have a beautiful baby but no way do i just let strangers hold my baby. People steal babies. and btw my grandma is a true contributer to my belief tht older women just think they know better what to do with any baby. It wasnt a coincidence when my grandma had my baby screaming at the top of his lungs and then as soon as i wrapped him adn rocked 3 times he fell right to sleep =)

Answer by Ebony – Born 30th Jan 2009
Far out, that is really rude. I’m not a rude person but if I was in your situation I would havesaid something. What baby has gone to the shop and never cried at least once?
Thankfully I have not been in that siuation. I do get looks though, coz I’m twenty but look about 17, but I try not to let it bother me coz I know I’m doing my best and thats all a baby needs.

*Tiffany, spot on, I would never let a stranger hold my baby, even if they look like the nicest of person.

Answer by yungcountry
the other day a guy walked up and patten my 7 month old on the head. he made cute little faces at him and expressed how much he loved babies.

just to see what would happen. i decided to pat him on the top of the head while i exchanged conversation with him. i mean if it is ok for him to touch my son,… then it should be ok for me to touch him right?

oddly he found it amusing and laughed and then said i was right, he should have asked. so i decided to try it again. at the grocery store when a little old lady pinched his cheek. she almost freaked out when i patted the side of her face. LOL.

it was awesome. you should try this. it will make you feel SO much better.

odd how they feel it is ok to invade your child’s space but if you do it back they leave real fast!

Answer by ffs
This is ridiculous, where i grew up trying to take a child from the mothers arms is an invitation for getting your arms broken. But no, children cry for a variety of reasons (depending on the age), and having a stranger try to take action without acknowledgment from the parent, would only cause more harm and possible scare the child.

Answer by Dani
Wow, just wow. I’m sorry you had to deal with so many people like that in such a short period of time.

For they guy outside I probably would have told him straight off that I wasn’t going to let some stranger hold my baby, and that if he kept harassing me I would be calling the cops.

For the lady in the bathroom, I would have tried to be polite and when your walk away didn’t work I would have been very forthright and told her to get her hands off my kid.. NOW.

Yes you did a great job at handling them, but I don’t know if I could have been that polite lol.

Answer by boynymphtiff
u were better than me – i totally wouldnt have been so nice. things like that, theres no room for politness. nowadays w/ people taking babies and so many diseases goin round(swine flu for example) i wouldve been goin off! last weekend some people tried to touch my 2 month old and i told them to back up off me and my son. they didnt like it but i didnt care – thats my baby – and thats one thing u dont mess w/. heres one good thing – at least u look young to be married and have a baby – walk away w/ that! LOL!

Q & A: How long will take the “crying baby” stage?

Posted in Toddlers on 31st October 2010

question of Meagan : How long does the “crying baby” phase last ?
My neighbors across the street from a small child who may from bloodthirsty cries at all hours of day and night, and it makes me crazy! I know no one hurt her (assuming it’s a she) because I’ve seen them do it if no one in their area. My mother said it’s just a phase and she will outgrow it. But seriously, when? I can even hear them screaming like, as they in the house. I was sick in bed all day today and all I could hear what I was, the boy screaming. How do people live with it? Should I just close my window and had only the explosion of the AC for the rest of the summer? And no, I have never seen children. This is one of the reasons why. Wailing babies make me mad! No, it is constant, or I would think that something was wrong with her. I think it’s just a phase. Hopefully, a short, lol.Hallo, Meagan. No, they are pasty white people like me. I honestly do not believe the child abuse or I would call the authorities. It’s more of an “I’m not getting my own way” scream, as I am hurt and need help “cry Best Answer.

reply sarakeely1976
Hmmm. I have a toddler who occasionally screams. I’m not sure how long it takes? We talk to our child that an inner voice … Did she scream nonstop? Or is it every once in a while throughout the day. You’ll get over it … hope you can too.

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