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If you have you ever yelled at the top of your lungs while crying…?(fast readers plz, It’s too long)?

Posted in Working Mothers on 5th January 2011

If you have you ever yelled at the top of your lungs while crying…?(fast readers plz, It’s too long)?
Only if you have…
Why was that?
What would our 8 family neighbours (including their sons) think and tell about me….I don’t want to see them, they may not know what was going on…

Actually after a long period of time being patient about so many pressures that was on me in our home, (such as my mothers impassionate and rude reactions about ‘every little stuffs’ (- from asking about the color of a dress, to looking in the washing machine to see whether the plates of washed or not-), and on the other hand my younger brothers ‘loud music’ (Metallica and those kind of styles), that he used to listen on most of the hours in a day regularly, in the living room and his room next by, regradless of how many times, and on how many styles it was told to him and he didn’t change and even made it louder.
Also on the other hand the compact program of working of computer works that I have to do before deadlines at home with computer, yesterday suddenly couldn’t control myself while I was back from the gym at the morning and was relaxed and aimed to concentrate on my works, suddenly again the ‘loud music’ began and he doesn’t even care others are also living at home, (in such situations the only way seems to be waiting…but how long? he is somehow bully and my father is too aggresive for being told such things to, and my mother on the other side is so fearful and very a very good growler on every little stuffs with me(though not with my father or my brother who is so faulty, just with me most of all, though she herself somehow knows and my father also that I even try to not have interactions with them alot cause she has always been like that with me)
Anyway, this time I came home with mind full of good energies to start my work and my mother started growling again, and talking with haty voice and commanding and then continued telling me “you should always get me pissed of , etc” and snooting, and I was really wondering why “I told her I don’t made you pissed off!” she again snooted and repeated the same thing, and a kind of wild music (I guess one of Metallica of sth) was also vibrating the home, while my relaxed lazy brother was walking and snapping fingers in the living room.
I started crying and at the same time yelling at the top of my lungs that “I don’t make you pissed off” and my bully brother joined to support my mother and while my mom was just gazing me as she always tries to be innocent in these cases and that continued for about 30 mins as my brother started saying bully things and I had to convince both of them.
And I was really full of both of them, it wasn’t for that incident only, it was for its last night and days before that too, that I was quite or tolerating them.
Usually when I want to talk with them they never get it serious, or always blame me.
Well ” I even was so anxious about my mothers way of communication with me that I shouted “she is not my mother” , but all at the top of the lungs that even my voice changed after that (though is returning hopefully), but all the neighbours heard me, I’m sure, however I shouted “I don’t care if the neighbours hear me or not” but now I just feel that though the pressure was all on me and they don’t know anything about the situation and may judge but I could still be patient than having to see them after all of this incident.
I just needed to talk with you and like to know your ideas about the neibour part specifically. I’m a girl, most of them have young sons who they also heard me.
And it was the first time that I heard my voice like that….I couldn’t be louder than that, I was really yelling while crying with all my energy!….but believe me it was the last time….
It only had one advantage and that was my brother promised to not make his music that loud as I angrily shouted “I don’t have to play a music in my room to not hear your music”
Please tell your honest thoughts, and any similar experiences you’ve had..
I am specifically embrassed about the ‘neighbours’ part as they are all quite and self composed , though I know they have never had my situations,
But I feel embrassed to see them as voice can be heard in this building from every apartment easily and they all have so many young boys at my age that I know they were all home at that time.
I’m almost 26 and I am trying and planning to get independent as soon also but it needs a little time,however, most of the singles live with their families in our country before getting married.

Best answer(s):

Answer by chilimama75214
I have before, its like venting, to make me feel better. It always has happened in extreme situations. It sounds like you are just really stressed out and were getting it off of your chest, literally. I would not worry about it to long, in such close quarters it is way to easy just to hear someone elses tv etc…

Answer by bainaashanti
Sounds like you have a bad situation at home; I’m sorry you have to go through all of that. I think you need to find a counselor, either at school or through your health care provider to talk about what’s going on and to help you figure out what your options are. I hope things get better for you.