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divorced dads do you pay “extra” for things that should be covered under “child support”?

Posted in Child Support on 11th June 2011

divorced dads do you pay “extra” for things that should be covered under “child support”?
What i mean is if you pay the max the court ordered(child support,daycare,and medical expensives) plus have joint custody 50% do u pay for extra things like sports fees,toys/clothes for your ex’s house ect?My husbands ex will have thier son call and ask his dad to pay for these things and he allways does.Now money is very tight for us and his ex is not hard up.Now i’m not an evil stepmom(i love my stepson) and my hus is not a dead beat dad i just feel these things should come from the child support money my hus is allready paying her.i feel his ex is taking advantage of my husbands love for his son as this happens often.Should i just let this go?I have tryed to talk to him about it but he just get defensive.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Nicole C
Let it go.. its his child, just because he pays child support, doesnt mean he needs to flea from everything else.. my dad paid extra child support and then paid for everything else we wanted.. just kind of a “hey, b/c im not around as much as Id like to be” sort of thing.

Answer by zajucomom
Let it go. He doesn’t want to talk about it. But i do see your point.

Answer by Scullycj
fight it! Should be covered..

Answer by jay k
It’s likely he gets defensive because he’s doing what’s right for the best of the children. After all what would result out of him telling his wife that the money he pays should cover that as well. Chances are it will provoke an argument and the kids the true one who pays for it. However, morally speaking you are correct. If he has joint custody AND pays child support he should not have to pay other things as well, after all if he has his child for 50% and probably spends just as much as his mom does for her 50%. This sounds like it might be an issue you should check with a lawyer on, and then once you get the facts you can bring it up to him.

Answer by Violet Pearl
That sounds fair enough to me. If they were still married, the parents would work together to come up with the things the children need. Child support goes toward food, clothing and shelter (medical insurance, etc.) and a decent father also buys his kid toys, sports fees, etc.
Let it go. He shouldn’t have to defend his decision to buy his kid a toy.

Answer by Eric W
Money maybe tight, but it is his son. I pay extra for my kids, but I will not give her the money to “buy” the extras. I keep a receipt because she is insane.

Answer by manybagolike
Hell no! The state tells you what you have to pay. Not her! She’s robbing you man! But it doesn’t hurt to buy your kids stuff yourself like clothes and toys. Your still their father. Just don’t be giving her the money. If she says they need something like clothes or something, pay for it yourself!

Answer by topekat
Good question. I would say that if you are already paying the court ordered and you are straped for cash that you shouldnt have to pay anything extra unless you have the money to do so it is your step child and that doesnt matter. If you can pay it do it if not dont.

Answer by jen_808
I agree with you. My husband has a daughter and I am the evil step monster also that hates it when they ask for extra money. Child support should cover those costs, but I guess there is nothing wrong with giving a little extra once in awhile. We are not well off either and every little bit counts.

Answer by mable3691214
Let it go. Child support only goes so far. It doesnt pay for thoes extra things… If yuor husband wasnt paying for them, He would not be able to get them.

divorced dads do you pay “extra” for things that should be covered under “child support”?

Posted in Child Support on 1st June 2011

divorced dads do you pay “extra” for things that should be covered under “child support”?
What i mean is if you pay the max the court ordered(child support,daycare,and medical expensives) plus have joint custody 50% do u pay for extra things like sports fees,toys/clothes for your ex’s house ect?My husbands ex will have thier son call and ask his dad to pay for these things and he allways does.Now money is very tight for us and his ex is not hard up.Now i’m not an evil stepmom(i love my stepson) and my hus is not a dead beat dad i just feel these things should come from the child support money my hus is allready paying her.i feel his ex is taking advantage of my husbands love for his son as this happens often.Should i just let this go?I have tryed to talk to him about it but he just get defensive.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Lovely
How old is his son? I don’t like it when the mother doesn’t save the money for the kids for items that they need for sports or what ever. Be supportive, Tell your husband to remember this is for your son.

Answer by butterflymoon
My ex bearely pays the child support he is ordered and never sees either of our kids anymore(he hasn’t in almost 3 years the same age as our son). His mother has told me that his girlfriend doesn’t want our children in their lives or around their child.
Your best bet is to stay out of it unless you want everyone looking at you the way that they look at my ex’s girlfriend. My kids don’t even like her.

Answer by Brenda V
I am not a divorced dad how ever I am a divorced mom paying child support to my ex husband who got physical custody of our children I too have 50% joint cutody and in my oppinion I think that if you have the money to do so go for it I do and I’m not poor because I choose to do this try it it gives you a great feeling. and trust me the LORD will pour his blessings unto you.

Answer by **Mr. A**
well, the money should also be used to pay for the house…
child support is for the kid’s food, toys, clothes, and even to help put a roof over the child’s head.
is his ex married?
if not, she may need extra help for things like sports fees and such.
she may be having a hard time paying her house rent and morgage and stuff that she has little left over for just enough food and clothes for the both of them

Answer by ~Biz~
Just based on your description, you may be right. Some people are just Users – even moms. But I’m not sure that you have a choice but to let it go. This seems to be a touchy subject for him, and he seems to want to do this for the ex, or for the child. Whatever his motives, that’s a good man that would do this without complaint. Try switching your focus to what kind of man he is, so that the inequity of it all doesn’t hinder your relationship.

Best wishes!

Answer by LittleMermaid
I would say it would depend on exactly how much child support he was paying. Child support is supposed to go to support the child. Meaning paying towards his clothes, school supplies, the water and electricity he uses, bed he sleeps in, and food he eats. These necessities are what the child support should go for first and formost. These necessities are what the father (non-custodial parent) would be paying for if the child lived with them. The amount of money that it would take to pay for 1/2 of these necessities, depends on the amount of child support payed and the individual child. For example, the food costs on a 3 yr. old would probably be much less that the costs on a 12 yr. old.

Those extras you mentioned, should come after the necessities are taken care of. If the child support is used up on the necessities, then I do feel the non-custodial parent should chip in on the extras. I also don’t feel that a parent should be expected to cover more, just because they make more than the other parent. Just because the mom makes $ 80,000, the dad shouldn’t get away with paying for less just because he only makes $ 40,000.00. They are equally responsible, regardless of what the other makes. This also holds true for a father who makes more than the mom, being responsible for paying for more than her.

It also depends on how much extra the mom is asking the dad to pay. If she is going over board, asking him to chip in on something extra 2-3 times a week, then I would say that the dad and she need to have a long, serious talk about all these extras.

Answer by Katharine ♥♥♥♥
Ok – I am guilty of this — its just frustrating when when my kids dad didn’t do anything for them – including picking them up when he was supposed to – so, if the kids begged for something – i would say… ask your dad….. my ex always said no to them – to ask me – so – I never say that to them anymore — I get child support – so, I do believe that I should be paying for all of their things – even though at the time I didn’t feel that way. I think your husband needs to start saying no — The Ex-wife is always having the kids ask – because he says yes — When he starts to say No – and says it enough – the kids will quit asking (aka – mom telling the kids to call and ask)
Of course the mom is going to take advantage of it – if the dad always says yes…
I don’t know how you can convince your husband to say no once in awhile — tell him if he wants to do that – to get them things for YOUR house.

The extras are something that should be given as a gift — NOT because the ex wants him to buy something…(thats my beliefs). he should only have to do it if he chooses to — not when he is told to.

What does facility fee for covered newborn care while mother is hospitalized mean?

Posted in Child Care on 19th January 2011

What does facility fee for covered newborn care while mother is hospitalized mean?
My husband’s employer will not add our daughter because somehow they did not receive the paperwork the first time we sent it, which was within the 30 day time frame after she was born. I even called before I sent it in, which had proof of. When I realized they didn’t receive it I re-submitted it a second time and they did receive that but of course denied us because that was after the 30 days.. I appealed twice and lost both times. I don’t have much proof the paperwork was originally submitted except my call. Anyways in their handbook it does specify their policy but I have been hearing from a few people that my daughter’s birth and newborn care should be covered while I am in the hospital at least whether we add her or not to our insurance if I am under that policy… she is covered under the policy for birth. I know this is true with the state, but we are on a employer plan so I am iffy about this. I am going to contact them, but I am trying to find out from others before I call what I should do and say. We already had a family policy and I even went through their maternity program. It does state in their handbook specifically this under maternity care, Covered Care: “Diagnostic office visit (initial visit), routine maternity care/delivery charges for the mother, testing and radiology services, and facility fee for covered newborn care while mother is hospitalized.” The covered part is what confuses me. Does this mean she is covered under my plan or not for her nursery and hospital care??? Initially anyone would think covered means that she is a covered dependent that has been added, but I just have some hope here. Further down it does say that it doesn’t cover nursery and any medical expenses for any non-covered newborn dependent (example, child of your covered dependent), thus from that part I gather that they are just talking about a child that wouldn’t be eligible anyways (wouldn’t have to do with us because she would be eligble). I also noticed in the plan that it does say that when you add a newborn that the coverage is retroactive, so another questionable part since she didn’t get added. I am looking for a loop hole to get something paid because we are going to be held liable for ALOT!! Lesson has been learned… I will call right after I send anything and I will not wait until the last minute. This has been an expensive experience. I actually am more worried about the hospital bills than anything. We are going to be held liable for about $ 3500 in bills… grrrr.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Lori
As long as the baby went home with you, the nursery care should be covered because the baby is considered covered under you whether or not you add her later…

Next time you send in paperwork, send it return receipt or certified. Then you will know it was received. OR call before the 30 days is up and if you need to re-send it, you will still have time…..

Answer by mbrcatz
It means nursery charge was covered. The “room charge” for the baby.

Anything she had done there – pediatrician exam, shots, if you do that to newborns, testing – won’t be covered.

For the next baby, notify them via fax, or certified return receipt mail, so you have a paper record that the request DID get sent. PITB, but way cheaper than $ 3500 in bills, and having to wait months to have your first well baby checkups.