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All of a sudden, my teenage son thinks I’m not *cool*; what is his problem?

Posted in Toddlers on 17th January 2012

All of a sudden, my teenage son thinks I’m not *cool*; what is his problem?
I was always the *cool* dad to my son, the dad who had rock music blasting on my car when I pulled into the parking lot to pick him up from school, the dad who, when my wife went hysterical on him after she found a Playboy under his mattress, took him aside after she left and told him, “Son, you have to get a better hiding place that your mother won’t find”, the dad who didn’t mind if he let an occasional “dammit” slip into his conversation. Up through last year, I was *cool*, someone he wasn’t embarrassed of. He’s 15 now, though, and I suddenly find that I am no longer worthy of being seen with him.

I find that, although I am the only dad with rap music playing on the car stereo, he now cringes when I pull into the school parking lot with the Kottonmouth Kings cranked up. When I lean out the window and yell, “Over here, Kipper(a nickname my wife and I have called him since he was a toddler)”, he turns to his friends and says “Oh damn, my mom sent our crazy neighbour again to pick me up. I hate that.” When one of his friends says “Hey, I always thought that was your dad”, he responds with, “No, my mom was shacking up with him for awhile, but he isn’t my dad. My dad is in prison or something; I dunno, we never hear from him.” My heart sinks and I, the crazy neighbour that my wife apparently occasionally bonks, am silent when he slides into the car and announces loudly, for the benefit of his friends, “God, I hope you’re not drunk again today! You almost killed us last time nearly colliding with that ambulance!” His friends, slack-jawed, are duly impressed.

When we get home he scurries off to his room, and I brood, pondering over what has happened. I look at myself in the mirror. I am no different than I was back when I was *cool*; still the same dad who was tons of fun the time the two of us sprinkled itching powder inside of all the church’s choir robes, then watched the gyrations during the Sunday service, still the same dad who let him stay up all night watching horror movies, then called his school the next day and told them he had a cold and couldn’t make it when he was too tired to wake up in the morning, still the one he once wrote in a 5th grade school report was his hero, the person he wanted to be like. I haven’t changed, so what happened?

I talk to him about it before dinner. I go to his room and ask him what happened back there at the school, why was he dissing me like that? He squirms and looks away, and finally says, “Dad, you just are so UNcool. I don’t want to be the biggest jerk on campus just because I have the biggest jerk for a dad.” I try to argue, to defend my points of “coolness”, but the old tattoo I have of Guns ‘N’ Roses leaves him unimpressed, and when I mention that he has the only dad who has been mistaken for Sam Elliott, definitely one of the coolest guys ever, he just says, “Dad, that’s just some OLD guy. So are you…..”

So, that’s it. I’m not *cool* anymore. I’m old, an embarrassment, not a dad he could be proud of. I sit in my chair in the living room with the lights off, and feel, for the first time, what it is truly like to be middle-aged. I don’t understand. A short time ago, I was *cool.* What happened?

Best answer(s):

Answer by Payne
im 13, and i get embarased by my dad sometimes, but wow thats taking it to the extreme. you seem like an awesome dad, your sons just at a stage where he thinks that parents are embarasing…
no really you seem like a REALLY GOOD DAD

Answer by Blessed
I guess he was teased about his dad one to many times.
The cooler you try to be, the more un-cool you are.
Try just being a dad that he can talk to about any problems he may have. That is what he is going to be needing now. He will appreciate tht more than a dad who wants to be a teen.

Answer by Gary B
You answered your own question: “Teenage Son”.

ALL teenagers think their mom and dad are “UNcool”.

Doesn;’ matter. It’s just a phase. Continue acting as you have been, and he’ll change his mind in about 5 years. Continuing to act as you have been will give him a sense of stability in his life, and that is what he really wants, he is just “too cool” to tell you that.

Answer by Linus
Parents are never “cool” around the high school age, no matter what you do. He probably wants to start feeling and looking more independent. I know anytime my mom or dad comes to my school, for any reason, i just keep quite and hurry away. He needs to impress his friends.

I would say just make sure he stays, for lack of a better word, a good kid (Not drinking, drugs, keeping decent grades in school, not hanging out with the wrong type of people), and he’ll get over it, and you can go back to being cool beans.

Answer by Wayf
Have you bought that Jag yet? I told you last week they possess supernatural powers. Not only will your son think you’re the coolest dad who ever lived again, his female classmates will be eyeballing him, (and, this, we know is where his real problem … ahem…lays), mouths agape and pantie liners working overtime.

Should I quit now before I get another VN?

Answer by < I >
I agree with our young friend Payne: “no really you seem like a REALLY GOOD DAD” [and who cares if your “wife”, “mom”, “granny”, AND “the callus on your Palm” collectively know better! 😉 ]

(((((Jack – the COOL Dad)))))

.

Answer by Ray J
I hear you. I feel for you. My daughter is 13 now so I know where you are coming from. Just today when she had 3 of her friends over and I went up to the tree house and hollered “male on the floor” neither she or any of her friends found that funny. None of them were impressed when I slid down the fire pole to get down from the tree house either.

She doesn’t like it any more when I go to the lunch room and give her a big hug during her lunch. She used to think I was cool but alas no more.

Answer by Vampurr Kitteh
Next time you pick him up from school, get out the car an swagga walk towards his friends. Then point to one and say “You are one cool cat”. That should fix this, or else this kid is simply past feeling.

Answer by Alexis
omg i’m so sorry! poor you, you must feel bad….i dunno….my parents were like that and sometimes they do things that are embarrassing but i never say things like that….i would just brush it off….but i would give him a talk about the things he says…it’s extremely disrespectful….you may not be “cool” anymore but you’re still his parent…good luck! best wishes! 🙂 and btw, i think you’re a great, really cool dad!!!! 😀

Answer by sadieee
Don’t let this get to you. You seem like a great dad, and I’m sure you are. All teenagers go through this stage. I did the same, and so did all my friends. The more you try though, the more embarrassing you will seem to your son.