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comebacks - Baby-sitting & Childcare

HELP asap Comebacks!?

Posted in Working Mothers on 1st March 2011

HELP asap Comebacks!?
I have been wondering if anyone can offer me some really good comebacks for ANY negative comments. “Your mother” has been working really well, but its getting old… For instance if someone calls you slow, or retarted, or mocks you, or imitates something you say or do. PLEASE try to make them witty and funny. Thanks
As much as i enjoy the noble, “Dont stoop to their level” advice, i must say THIS is a FRIENDLY competition with a certain someone. Please, all i want is GOOD WITTY comebacks for almost ANY occasion.

Best answer(s):

Answer by teresathegreat
Don’t stoop to their level or play their stupid game. Be better than that. Just act bored or slightly amused by their attempts – not angry or upset. Your reaction is the only thing that gives their teasing any power, so don’t give it to them.

Answer by Be Mine
Say, “You a hurt a** b****!!!!! You dumb a** Mother F***ER!!!!! Why don’t you SHUT THE F*** UP You STUPID H*!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, it’s fun to cus!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!!!! 😀

Answer by PJJ
Old girl. Old cheese, creeking bones,Wrinkles,hip replacement in the future to happen, Old fart, old bag.

Calling all funny/witty people. Help! Comebacks?

Posted in Working Mothers on 23rd February 2011

Calling all funny/witty people. Help! Comebacks?
I have been wondering if anyone can offer me some really good comebacks for ANY negative comments. “Your mother” has been working really well, but its getting old… For instance if someone calls you slow, or retarted, or mocks you, or imitates something you say or do. PLEASE try to make them witty and funny. Also, do NOT tell me to ignore them, because this is JUST a friendly competition with a FRIEND. Also, no “I know you are but what am i?” Nothing played out. Be as ORIGINAL AND FUNNY AND CREATIVE AS POSSIBLE.

Best answer(s):

Answer by AnswerThis.
This is my favorite…

You are so Ugly that your dad looked at you and said to your mom, “maybe you should have just given me a blowjob instead”

Answer by kristi
oh oh i got one! but it’s not a comeback
YOU hit 2 birds with 1 stone but CHUCK NORRIS hits 2 stones with 1 bird haha

Answer by mama mac
well this is always funny with me and my friends “kick rocks and blow me”we dont offend eachother its funny to us..if i think of any more ill let ya no have fun..

Answer by coolperson
well.. if someone says something offensive or funny, you can say ” Haha want to join my comedy troupe?” in a sarcastic voice

Answer by Happy Cupcake
Have you ever heard these?

Redneck pickup lines:

Are your parents retarded? ‘Cuz you sure are special!

Did you just fart? ‘Cuz you blow me away.

My love for you is like the runs…I can’t hold it in.

Hehe! Enjoy!

Answer by dorky person loves food!!!!!
your mom is sooo fat that when she sucked your dad’s dick she had to deep fry it first.
your mom is so small whenever she has hiccups she does a backflip
your mom is soooo dark she went to night school and she went out side and they marked her absent

Answer by Night Rain
I’m usually a person with quick comebacks. But umm… It really all depends on the situation. For example: In art class, I muttered “Ugh, I keep on making mistakes with this drawing.” My friend replied “It’s okay Tina, you ALWAYS make mistakes (she meant it in a bad way).” I replied “So, at least I make mistakes. But you ARE a mistake.” Then she gets pissed. Oh there was one time where a friend of mine told me to go to hell. I told her “But I’m already in hell when I’m around you!” Also, one time I complained that at a school event, the teacher asked for too many hugs. He was SO hard to hug because he has large muscles and he was all buffed up. My friend said “It’s not hard to hug him. It’s just because you’re short!” I told her “No, it’s just because you have no boobs. So that way, you have no problem putting your arms around him and doing the whole contour of his body.”

Well, it’s actually easy to find a good come-back. Just left your friend say whatever she says, and make the situation turn against her instead. Use logic and common sense. =D

Answer by *~alyssa~*
its easy to be witty and funny. admitting the problem they are spitting at you lowers their chances of getting a good comeback and makes you look better
retarded: not as much as you
gay: im glad you think im happy you homo (btw gay means happy)
yo momma: at least i have a mom
(there’s a really long one for bitch but i doubt anyone is call in you that but here it is anyway:
a bitch is a femal dog
and dogs bark
and bark is on a tree
and a tree is part of nature
and nature is beautiful
so thanks for the comliment
thats all i got 4 now. but a good come-bak are the ones you make the instant you hear the diss. you can’t be readyt for all of them but good luck =)

Answer by Sdfs S
lmaoo this is my favoritee

stop acting like my grandmother..
its bad enough u already look
like her…xD

HELP! URGENT comebacks!?

Posted in Working Mothers on 17th February 2011

HELP! URGENT comebacks!?
I have been wondering if anyone can offer me some really good comebacks for ANY negative comments. “Your mother” has been working really well, but its getting old… For instance if someone calls you slow, or retarted, or mocks you, or imitates something you say or do. PLEASE try to make them witty and funny. Also, do NOT tell me to ignore them, because this is JUST a friendly competition with a FRIEND. Also, no “I know you are but what am i?” Nothing played out. Be as ORIGINAL AND FUNNY AND CREATIVE AS POSSIBLE.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Lars
I’m fond of “douche nozzle”.

Answer by miss london
If someone gets involved in your conversation say “this is a conversation between a and b so c yourself out of it” – makes me laugh every time. If someone asks what you looking at? reply “i don’t know s*hit ain’t labelled”. Or if your stuck when someone says something shout really load aawww your breath stinks!

Answer by khronickid
can i do this .. repost?
sorry if i cant but i thot it was applicaable

Member Since: February 27, 2008
Total Points: 123 (Level 1)
Points earned this week: 123 teaching someone to be witty is like teaching a dog to speak…. ( even if it is a bark)

the comeback depends on the context of the initial slam (remark).

1: first decide if u want just your front teeth punched out or a full-out asswhippin…

2: next , consider the intelligence of your opponent. Dont waste good ones on the redneck bullies…they’ll never get it despire how much time you give them…
3: consider the audience…. you wanna walk away unscathed AND brilliant … and its the audience that determines the weight of your comeback.
4: be prepared for a physical comeback to your comeback cuz youre BOUND to push the limits with the wrong guys at least twice. LEARN FROM IT.
5. game rules are always one on one…. if theres more than one balking at ya…. pick off the weakest first… then go after their leader.. but only if he’s involved…. and never draw anyone else into the comeback if theyre not involved….
6. break part thier comeback into idea sections… meaning analyze their remark aand look for obvious flaws in truth, intelligence, or humor. Point out their flaws with yer comeback.
6a. STOP using ( your momma ) its is so old that … omg…icant believe im even having this conversation….
lets just say only 6year olds use it now.

7. you are less likley to get sh*tkicked if your comeback has some humour to it… consider watching the comedy network for a few good oneliners…. your sense of “wit” should develope from that ( if u have any)….(insert laff here)

8. get thru the first eight… and we’ll talk more….

have fun and carry bandaids.
playsafe.

Answer by DinoLuv
Dickwad
Go suck a dick.

them: “You’re a retard”
you: That’s not what your mother said last night