HomeSearch for 'chances'

chances - Baby-sitting & Childcare

Did my dad just ruin my chances of getting a summer job?

Posted in Working Mothers on 6th December 2011

Did my dad just ruin my chances of getting a summer job?
Even though that you could probably see it, but I’m going to warn you that there is a lot of reading involved in this question and that you don’t need to answer this question, but it would be highly appreciated. I just wanted to get something off my chest because I’m going through a lot of stress lately about my summer break.

So, my parents are divorced, and I’m on a 50-50 plan, where I’m with my dad for 2 weeks, then with my mom for 2 weeks. These past 2 weeks, I was working for my grandpa on my mom’s side at his nursery, getting $ 5 an hour plus bed and board. I earned $ 400 the past two weeks and I wanted to work for him for the whole summer so that I can buy myself a new Macbook Pro for my birthday, but I needed my dad’s permission in order to work the whole summer (I asked him last Wednesday and he said he needed time to think about it. I called him again on Friday and he was still thinking about it. Asked him today (Sunday, July 4) an hour before I had to go to his house, still hasn’t decided; also, he told me before the last school year ended that because that I quit baseball, I was not going to be doing anything over the summer.).

So I came to my dad’s house at 6:00 and started to discuss with him about work. He said that he loves the fact that I’m working toward a goal and also enjoy it, but if I work for the whole summer, he wouldn’t be able to see me for the whole summer (he wants to “interact with me,” which means I do all the work around the house and not get paid while he sits his lazy ass on the couch watching TV and reading the newspaper). So he wants to see me on the weekends when I’m not working, including weekends where I’m with my mom. I told him that that’s fine, but it’s not my decision because I still can’t drive and I need some sort of transportation to get to one place to another (turning 15 in August; my job is about an hour away from where I live).

So we call my mom, who was with my grandpa and my step-dad at a restaurant, and talk about “our” plan (my dad wanted me to get on another phone so that we could both talk to my mom and grandpa). My grandpa says that my job is a real job, so that I need to stay up where he lives for the whole summer, while my dad wants my somebody on my mom’s side of the family to take me back to his house for each weekend. Both my mother and my grandfather said that can’t be negotiated unless my dad could pick me up at my grandpa’s house, but my dad kept negotiating and saying that he could not pick me up at my grandpa’s house because “it’s not his responsibility.” The “discussion” got so out of hand, so my mom hung up, and I was out of a job.

My dad starts talking to me that since my mom hung up, she is the bad guy that cost me my job. He claims that he could have picked me up after work on Friday when I would go back for the weekend, but couldn’t take me back to my grandpa’s house on Sunday. He also claims that he tried to say that to my mom, but couldn’t because “she wouldn’t let me,” but he was the one who talked most of the time, which also contradicts to “we could both talk to your mother,” when I couldn’t say a word. He claims that if I work for the whole summer, he will get nothing in return.

My mom says that the reason that she hung up was because it was going around the same situation and wasn’t going anywhere. She said that my grandpa said that it was either work for the whole summer as a real job or no job at all. Also, my step-dad my need to go back to Iraq and if he does, my mom is going to go with him, and that I would have to be with my dad for the majority of the school year (though my dad doesn’t believe this and wants to “focus on today, not the future”).

After listening to both sides of the story, I’m with my mom on this argument, but I still am missing out on a job, and I don’t know what to do. I came up with a few compromises:
1) Since I’m with him for six more weeks of summer, he will pay me $ 1200 in cash
2) He will give me a “reasonable” job, where he will pay me a total of $ 1200 in cash by the end of summer
3) Get me a 15-inch Macbook Pro with the 500 GB hard drive for my birthday, or
4) Have him sign the papers so that I will be on my way and that I will never see him in my life ever again.

I know none of these compromises will work, due to the fact that it is impossible to negotiate with him, so I want a few more suggestions. Should I try to negotiate with him to working the whole summer? Should I call my grandpa tomorrow to pick me up and don’t give a shit on what my dad has to say about it? I just need suggestions and I’m open to any and all suggestions. Thank you for reading all of this and helping me out the best way you can.
For “deciding on who you want to live with laws,” I live in Ohio.
I also forgot to mention that I might have left out some details, but tried to remember all the details I could remember.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Judith D
I agree with your father. You should keep the same 50 – 50 plan. He does not owe you a mac book or money. He wants to see you this summer on the agreed plan. I think that is his right. You will have many summers to work in – you may not have that many left with him. If you run away and go back to work your father can have your mom arrested for kidnapping I do believe.
Good luck.

Answer by Precious Gem
In most states you are old enough to decide where you want to live. If your dad wants you with him then he needs to help foot the bill because he is interfering with your
working a job. Personally I don’t see an easy solution to this because your dad is being selfish and your mother seems to sifted her focus to her relationship rather than keeping it with you. Your mother just can’t pick up and leave if there is a court
order arrangements. She needs to work this out with the courts before traipsing off to Iraq. Personally I say stay with your grandfather and don’t go see your dad until
all parties work things out that will allow you to continue working and they still get to
see you.

Answer by demi041
A compromise can definitely be reached in this situation. Your grandpa should be a little more understanding when your dad says that he wants to spend time with you, and allow you to work for him when you are with your mom. When you are with your dad he should set something up that allows you to work and make as much money as you would if you were working for your grandpa. He should respect the fact that you have a goal and are actually working hard to reach that goal. Not many people your age or older have that much tenacity, so congrats on wanting to work for what you want!!