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Should I dump my boyfriend?

Posted in Babysitting on 21st May 2014

Should I dump my boyfriend?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and two months. His family didn’t want us to be together for religious reasons but he left his family for me. He is really good to me but I think he’s kind of irresponsible. He doesn’t have a job (even though he is trying to get one) and he is always getting overdraft fees in our bank account. He is always forgetting to do things and just procrastinates them. He is also always stuck babysitting. He isn’t doing well in college but wants to be a neurosurgeon. He has big ambitions but it doesn’t seem like he is working hard to get to them. We also argue a lot. I don’t know what to do. We want to get married but I don’t know how long it would last because of all that and his family might come in the middle again. What would you do?

Best answer(s):

Answer by Vinod P
yes

Answer by Wendell Horsashire
Hmm, well, to begin,
I think him leaving his overzealous family for you is super. (+1)

No job…this is hard. because, the joint bank account combined with the lack of job is a double negative…but if you were to acquire your OWN bank account with your OWN money because YOU have a job,And you dont care about image (the image other people would have of you because your husband doesnt have a job) then its O.K, and if you got your own bank account it would be a 0. Also, I know for a fact that medical school leaves little to no time for work. You dont say what level of college he is at, only that he is planning to be a neurosurgeon (big ambitions – +1),
but since you say he isnt doing well and doesnt study (-1)
I assume he is not studying or spending all his time shadowing a physician. That is when those in medical school REALLY do not have a spare moment for work – when they get the little buzzer and are on call when a doctor is on call to see how the workforce operates. -1 because I think he should be able to have a job.

“He always gets stuck baby sitting”. I think you must mean he doesnt have the guts to stand up to whoever is making him babysit. -1.

Forgetting? O.K. Not a negative quality, I think. A pretty relationship neutral one, unless he forgets your anniversary or something.Forget
-fulness is just a thing more specific to your husband, so unless this quality constantly irks you I wouldnt see it as a weight on judging someone so important.

Procrastinating…see last part above about personal qualities ^

Arguments, -1.

Marital-religious issues, a neutral. Either A) skip it [the only benefit I ever see is tax deduction] or B) work your way through it because I am positive that if he chose being with you over offending his family/religion once, he will do it again.

–PROS/ISSUES NOT TO WORRY ABOUT–
5

–CONS–
4

Conclusion: Do not dump him.

Cheating boyfriend: (?

Posted in Child Support on 6th February 2014

Cheating boyfriend: (
I have a suspicion that he may be cheating (or at least dishonest with me in general) had. Today he left his cell phone at home (we live together) and on a whim I went through his phone and found some text messages that confirm my suspicions. I saw messages talking about how “hot” he thinks certain girls and messages that say he was at a strip club goes on a night when he told me he was doing something else. Way back when we first got together much I saw him even a message that a girl sleeping on writing … I just saw a message to sleep and it was very long ago, maybe even before we officially a couple … but he speaks with this girl, so of course I’m worried. I feel really stupid and I’m not sure what to do. We live together and I’m 5 months pregnant with his child. I have not confronted him yet, I’m not even sure what to say. I just need some advice from someone who has been there. I’m really excited = (To B-I do not know that he is cheating on me before we moved in together … I went through the phone today and found this all out today. The text message I referred to him was in September of last year just around the time we have together sent. What is me that the two of them to talk regularly. I had no reason to believe that she was nothing going on until I saw today this text. I hadnt the slightest idea before = (And I feel sad that I through his cell phone … But if you suspect and if you ask him about it and he denies, you sometimes do crazy things best answer (s).:

by sad answer
Awwww I know wat must feel! This guy should at least realize ur pregnant! I think you should confront him! Ask and make him swear by him! Why do not you simply choose the number and talk to women who idiotic it is always! and warn them! Maybe she is not even aware of you!

Answer by Heather D
Oh sh * t. Prego with his child? That makes it even schwieriger.Ich would say his apology dump a $ $ . What you really want out of it? You want to confess to him? Stop Cheating? Well honey, you can not change, but each creator. It is obvious that, if he acts no respect for you or the baby in this way. Not a great father to have around your child. ‘Sorry.

response of B.
knew all this before you officially a couple and yet you are still with him and with his baby too. Only those who fault is that? Best of luck. You’ll need it.

Reply spudmustang
I do not know what is more disturbing, the fact that he’s cheating, or the fact that you went through his phone. In any case, I have two words for you: “Child Support.”

Answer by ♫ You hate because I’m a Rockstar
throw him Reply SCOUSERMOUSE.
I think your the one who is worden.Es burned hands your partners phone and it’s not nice in his cell phone to suchen.Wenn he wants you to know he will let you know . who he is always news, abzusagen.Dies phone is the best way to lose your partner is by the feeling you do not trust him him him.

Reply luckyme
to leave him. You have a child to take care of now. A daughter, you increase not to think it’s okay with a man who cheats and lies his. A son, you increase not think that behavior is an acceptable way to treat a woman.


Should i be asking my boyfriend for child support?

Posted in Child Support on 9th October 2012

Should i be asking my boyfriend for child support?
My boyfriend and i have been together for a year & 3 months.. but unofficially alot longer.. we have a 3 month old son.. we both live at home.. (not living together) because he works an over night shift. Since he works 11:15 to 7:15am we just dont live together. He also has 2 credit card bills he is trying to pay off so we can move out.. one has about 1,000 and the other has around 2,000 i’ve asked him how much he owes and he’s saying ” dont worry about it” but he’s not handing me a certain amount of money a week or anything.. i guess he assumes since we’re together he doesnt have to pay anything i really dont know.. My parents keep telling me i should be getting money every week from him. I’m on WIC .. I’m not making nearly as much as he is.. he has a 16 dollar an hour job and working 40 hours a week.. i have a part time 20 hour job at a grocery store.. I brought up “child support” to him and he looked at me like i was crazy… He comes over every day to see him around 5 to 10:45 at night helps me get him ready for bed and all .. only thing he’s really buying is Diapers.. and formula for his house since i’m already getting it.. do you see anything wrong with this picture? am i wrong here? .. i need some input.. and if i am right.. how do i explain this to him?
Well i could use the money i dont make that much and its bad enough i’m getting free formula from wic.. If he gave me money every week i could save up to buy him stuff when he needs if if he doesnt need it this second.. he just seems cheap with him.
The most he’s paid in one week was (saint patricks day photos) and Diapers which was 120… he gets away with buying diapers when he needs them which is every few weeks.. he’ll watch me buy him clothes.. mind you i dont have a whole lot of money & he’s not putting a roof over my babys head.. I’m still at home with my parents who are letting me live here for free.. so my parents provided the room for him.. it would be nice to give my parents money to live here.
My mom watches him FOR FREE
When he gets his weekly check he’s putting it on credit card bills.. phone bill & car payment.
I asked him if he’s saving any money at all and he said he’s paying his bills off.. but how do i even know its gonna work out? I’m gonna end up getting back support if it doesnt because i’m not gonna just wait around for him to say ” oh im saving for a house ” if he hasnt saved a dime yet .. so if we break up i’m not gonna have any child support since he’s never really given me anything for him.
THANK YOU!!!!!! 🙂
He seems to think that just because he’s in his life that its okay that he’s not really paying anything for this child.. for the longest time he thought it was okay to use all the gift cards from the baby shower up first before spending his own money.. i told him no.. i wanna use them when we really need them.
I dont even have an engagement ring.. i dont have that security that getting a place in a year is even gonna happen.
He’s saving SO much money a month for formula.
The state never asked… at all..

Best answer(s):

Answer by Judge
Your parents are wrong not you, if you’re happy with this arrangement then that’s fine but if you’re genuinely struggling to pay the bills then tell him. Don’t ask him to pay for the sake of keeping your parents happy, ask him to pay if you need the money.

Answer by M M T
He has a legal obligation to provide for that child, as do you.

Your choices are:

1. File for child support and he’s gonna get pissed. Child support will be a LOT more than he’s paying you now. Right now, he’s taking the easy way out while you’re not.

2. Tell him that you need a set figure every week or every pay day to help pay for the cost associated with raising his child. Or give him a list of things that you need on a regular basis and he can be responsible for their timely purchase.

3. Continue to let things be.

Your parents are right. Who pays for child care while you’re working? Who pays for the health insurance or doctor’s visits and medications. If he has insurance available through his work, the child could be covered under that with him paying any additional premium due.

Answer by Adam
Sounds like he is trying to get enough money so he can move out and get you and the child a better house i would question him on what he is doing with the money and get an answer dont just leave yourself hanging like that.

Answer by nas88car 300 Blue Deuce is #1
since your b/f is still in your life and seeing his child alot .. yes buy diapers is a good thing ..and your onWIC which is also great.. .. i see nothing wrong with this…
he also should if he can help pay your parents for watching the child or if the child is going to daycare he should pay for some of it also.

Answer by john
Child support is what a real man pays because he helped to create a life with another person. It’s one of the penalties for ‘free’ sex.
Most states, if they are supplying aid to the child, will require child support from the father of the child.
Oddly, a lot of men think that it’s somehow all the woman’s fault and refuse any financial aid. This is contrary to common sense and common ethics.
Contact your local DFS and tell them. They’ll see to it that he pays, and pays, and pays.
If it ever comes to it, you can legally refuse to allow him to see the child until he starts paying support.
That crazy look he gave you may be the look of a man trying desperately to say afloat financially.
Either way, you need help with that child.
Good luck.

Answer by Brandi
You need to tell him he has to step up. There were the two of you who made that baby and if you lived together then he would be paying alot more and he needs to start paying for more for the baby or else you should go and get child support out of him. If he isn’t being responsible enough to pay his bills or maybe he is just stringing you along as witht the only debt of two credit cards he should have those paid and money put away to have moved out long ago. Tell him to get off his horse and step up to the plate you deserve better and so does your baby

Answer by Citizen X
It isn’t your parents responsibility to house you and your child while you and your boyfriend play grown ups and make babies. He should be supporting his child, and sorry, but WIC does not provide everything.

Answer by jimbo
I am under the impression that you are very young. So let me add to what your mother has advised you. This baby is only 3months old and at the moment your biggest expense is as you say the formula and the diapers. But honey, the child will grow up and I have to tell you that shoes and clothes are expensive and that is only the beginning. You should listen to the wisdom of your mother, she has raised a family, she knows what things cost. You must have a formal agreement with the child’s father to pay child support on a regular basis. If necessary you may have to do it through the courts. I know that is the furthest thought in your mind right now, but things change and the baby needs protection. God bless.

Answer by Motherhood is cool!
How are you on WIC and he isn’t on support. Every state says that if you are on state assistance then they MUST go after the father for child support, it is the law, to try and recoup some of the money.

the only thing I can think of is that you lied and said you didn’t know the father, which could get you into serious trouble with the law, it is called defrauding the government.

Even if you guys are “together” if you don’t live together then your parents are right, he should be pn child support, or do the right thing and figure out child support and just give it to you if he doesn’t want to go through the courts. for most states it is 17-20% of your gross pay, so at $ 16 an hour, 40 hours a week, he should be paying about $ 470 per month to you, and that was at the 17%!!!

if he is not providing even half that amount per month then you need to have a talk with child support services. I am a really big father’s advocate, I think it is unfair when the courts automatically give custody to the women, but in a situation like this where you are both still living with your parents, and he has a full time job, but still comes to see the baby every night, you should have custody, which means he should be paying you child support. Part of father’s right is that they do have the right to see their children, but if they don’t have custody of their children then they have the RIGHT, and duty, to pay child support.

If the situations were reveresed I would be advising him to seek child support from YOU! It is not unfair, and it is not unreasonable to ask for the support of your baby. And that doesn’t just include food and clothes, and formula, but also the power to heat the wter for their baths, the running water for the toilet, and child support could even be used to pay for the car which drives the child to the doctor’s office. I’m sure your parents would appreciate some rent, or maybe money for room and board?

child support is not a dirty word, it is a responsibility, and should be treated as such.