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will you send your child to a residential school if you had to? My son has autism, schools are not helping.?

Posted in Child Care on 28th May 2014

will you send your child to a residential school if you had to? My son has autism, schools are not helping.?
Hi; My name is Robyn and I am a single parent of a 8 year old boy, his name is D’Andre’ and I love him soooooo much! I am in a bind and I have to make a decision, I do not want to come across as selfish but… I have been at home with D’Andre’ living on social security for over 6 years and I want to make a life for the both of us and the oly way i see doing it is to put him in a home for a year so that i will be able to obtain a house and a reliable vechile for us. I am 43 now so i have to do something or we will be living on social security until we get social security. I need to be responsible and not selfish in this decision and my family who gives me zero help not even for me to go to the doctor’s for myself are saying that i am wrong, well he is not making any progress in school and his behavior is over the top when we go out, maybe i have taken him as far as i am suppose to. I have never thought about this before, it’s just that he is out of control, i do not know what to do

Best answer(s):

Answer by Aliz-USA
I did send my child to a residential school when he was 3 because I knew the more he could learn at a young age the better off he’d be when he was an adult. I knew that I could not teach him enough myself because I had not been trained on how to teach him.
It was hard on me to let him go, but I knew it was the best thing for me to do for him. He will soon be 41 and I am not sorry I did what I did for him.
I would suggest that you let him go, but not to a school run by a religious group because he will learn that God is good and the devil is bad and then repeat those things he was taught. Now he talks about the devil telling him to do bad things. Society thinks someone is mentally ill if they do. But for him it is his way of talking about the good and bad.
Again, please send him to a residential school and I wish you the best.

Answer by Ms. Phyllis
No, I would most definitely not send my child to a residential school. I understand that you are in a bind and must make a decision. and I do understand that you have been home with your son for six years.

I am a 47-year-old mother with a 7-year-old son who will soon be evaluated for ADHD/Asperger’s syndrome (high functioning autism). His behavior is sometimes “over the top ” too, and I have virtually no family support. My family and I live in different states. I have tried working from home for the last year, and it has not worked out well. Yet, I know that I must do what is best for me as well as my son and what is best for him is to be with his mother who loves him.

You will not be able to parent your child while he is in a residential home. I do not know how severe his autism is, but have you looked into whether your state/city offers “respite care,” so you can have a break every week or two?

Often disabled children are abused–physically and sexuallly–in residential home settings. I doubt if the home you have in mind is one of the better ones. I would not put my child in such a home, but I would seek out more therapy for him. Also, homeschooling is an option which you might want to research. You might also think about training for a career such as medical transcription where you can make a good living working from home; you could then have someone come into your home and watch D’Andre’ while you take a break. Additionally, take the initiative with the schools and pursue, pursue, pursue an appropriate IEP and subsequent implementation of that IEP. D’Andre’, like all children, is entitled to a free and appropriate public school education.

I understand the financial sacrifices one has to make when there is a child with special needs, yet we owe our children the world and they owe us nothing. We brought them into the world and whether the father is there to help or not, we must do all we can to take care of them. It saddens me, Robyn, that your family is not willing to help; perhaps your church, Easter Seals, or some other organization may help you. Research and look into all possible options.

I hope this is helpful.

Answer by frogg692
i would; it will help him adjust to life and give him the skills he may need to live a more independent life later

Answer by Kathryn R
You should have him evaluated by a private evaluator and than have a school IEP conference and see if you can get them to pay for a private school for kids with learning disability. They have to if you can prove that being in the public school system hasn’t helped him. If he’s out of control than you may have to consider getting therapy for both of you. You don’t say what part of the country that you live in so I can’t help you with specific information, I’m in NY and only know
about the services available on the east coast. If you live here than e-mail me and I may be able to give you some more detailed information.

Answer by Jade645
I think you need to look at the benefit he would or would not get in a residential school. I know given your situation it is hard to not look at the financial aspect of this situation and your current dire need, but some residential schools who are specifically set up for kids with autism and more severe behavior problems may make a positive difference in his life that should be considered. However if it is really just a warehouse for him while you can get on your feet I would not do it. It takes several years of good schooling and teaching to make up for one bad year and a bad residential school could make him even more difficult to live with in the long run. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says but make sure you are doing right by your son. I would definitely pursue your rights via the public school system. If you are in the U.S. and your child has extreme behavior difficulties you are entitled to a functional analysis assessment and a behavior intervention plan. Get a copy of your parent rights from your school district and there is usually free agency that can provide assistance for pursuing the IEP process more vigorously.

Answer by Mary K
If you think the school is not doing what it agreed to do in your son’s IEP, then it is very important that you call an immediate IEP team meeting and ask the team if they feel a residential placement is appropriate. One thing you do NOT want to do is make what they call a “unilateral placement”- that is when you decide all by yourself to put him in that school. If you do make a unilateral decision, the school district is not responsible for paying for the school. There may be another possiblity such as a private day school that would be a better placement for your son, but less drastic than residential placement and the school may suggest this as an alteranative that should be tried. You can also ask for a Functional Behavioral Assessment and a for a Behavior Intervention Plan. Once the school gets a handle on how to help your son regulate his behaviors, they may be able to help youuse similar strategies at home. With the right intervention, eventhe most sever behavior issues can improve.

Also, since your son is Autistic, you should be eligible for assistance from your state in the form of a respite worker who would come to your home so that you can take care of things like shopping and doctor’s appointments. Have you applied for benefits through your state?

If you do decide that residential placment is best for you and for your son for now, know that it takes great love sometimes to let go and do what you know is right even in the face of disapproval from others who do not understand.

P.S. If anyone gives you serious trouble about the idea, drop your son off at their house for an hour or two and then ask them what they think! Hang on!

Answer by teacher_n_texas78
I do not know what you are going through. I’m a special education teacher who gets to work with children with Autism during the day then go home to the peace and quiet of my home. I work in the public schools but did some observations in a residential treatment program while I was working on my masters in Autism.

Has the public school district helped you in every way? Do you have an in home trainer to help with your son transfering skills from the school setting to the home setting? Have you tried respite care for the weekend or a short term placement?

It is very important to exhaust all your possibilities before you look into a residential treatment program… especially if you want the school district to pay for it.

Answer by TeacherLady
Sometimes a child needs more than the public school is able to give, not because the teachers don’t care or the system is flawed, but because the child’s needs are so intense that they cannot be met in the standard school setting.

If this is the case, then your son may be better off in a residential school setting, and you are brave and courageous to put him there.

Think about it – if he had a serious medical problem you would go ahead and put him the hospital; he has a serious problem and you are getting him treatment for it. It’s not as though you were putting him into a prison and never going to see him again. Most facilities encourage visitation by families and even hold groups and classes for parents. They even help to work up a treatment plan to help the child transition back home, and make sure that you have the support you need to help your child.

It’s a shame that you don’t have any family support; if you get a negative response consider offering to allow D’Andre to live with them for awhile, since they think they can do a better job than you. Let them see what it’s like to walk a mile in your shoes, and maybe they won’t be so quick to judge.

Trust your instincts. Your his mother, you have his best interests at heart, and you know him best.

Good luck with this difficult decision.

Answer by ♥Ĵunỉþ€я♀
You know, in days past, a mother was not expected to work as a 24-hour nurse! It just wasn’t done – children with disabilities usually went to residential facilities to be cared for by professionals. No one would expect even a married couple to handle the immense stress and pressure alone! And you’re a single mom, too, which is doubly hard.

The only way to really make it work otherwise, IMHO, is with a TON of family support. I am very lucky in that regard, and have an involved husband and own mom and dad to help out. I understand that it is probably better for him to be at home with you, all else being equal. However, it sounds like all else is NOT equal, in this situation – you are falling into quicksand, am I right? There will be benefits to him to have the kind of structure they can provide, as well.

Sometimes doing the best thing for our children means not letting our feelings of guilt get in the way of doing what’s *really* best for everyone. If you are not able to find any resources, such as family help, it might be worth looking into residential care, at least for a while. Also make sure that you are on the list for respite care, although it takes a few years to actually get any.

Best of Luck – I know that raising an autistic child is just about the hardest job in the world. God Bless.

My opinion on the number of cases of autism increasing.?

Posted in Child Care on 11th March 2014

My opinion on the number of cases of autism increasing.?
A lot of doctors and scientists say that autism has been growing in children, some even saying that the environment or the water we drink may have something to do with it.

But couldn’t it also be that the number of cases is increasing simply because more and more doctors are willing to diagnose it to children? (good-old fashioned stupidity being diagnosed as autism).

Best answer(s):

Answer by Trixie
More and more children that are born end up being diagnosed with the brain disease every single day and every year. Autism is increasing bit by bit, and no one knows why. But what i want to know is what causes it so that perhaps we might be able to find a cure for it.

Answer by Joseph
The number of diagnoses of autism are increasing. It is important to distinguish this claim from one that says the number of _cases_ of autism are increasing. There is no good evidence to show that the true prevalence of the condition is actually increasing, but that’s possible.

The issue can be looked at in two ways: (1) What passive databases — e.g. special education counts and service-provision reports — show; (2) What prevalence studies show.

Passive (“you find us”) database counts are affected by awareness. People generally have to be aware about autism and seek diagnoses before they are counted.

Prevalence studies are different. Their results depend on the true prevalence of the condition, the diagnostic criteria/methods/tools, the screening methods, and case-finding methods.

Diagnostic criteria for autism is currently much broader than it was in the past. It also appears that case-finding methods have also improved over time.

Note that these issues could also, in principle, hide a true decline in the prevalence of autism.

Answer by Heidi N
I hate it when people say there is no evidence, no proof, no correlation. That can never be true ever. You can find reports that peanut butter causes cancer, or tomatoes, or whatever. And then you can find studies that say it prevents cancer. My point is that you can never say never because there is way too much research out there for you to have read it all. Thus, you can say I never saw it, but you can not say it doesn’t exist. Everyone over 40 with a decent memory knows that we did NOT have all this cancer, autism, Bipolar, ADHD, etc. We know we didn’t have it because we did NOT see any hyper people. You can say we are diagnosing ADHD more, but you can easily search your memory to see if there were hyper kids in your elementary classes. There were not. Although, I have heard that New York has some hyper ones first, but most states didn’t see hyperactivity until the 80’s, just a few, and the 90’s, all over the place. With cancer, it was very rare to hear about it. Now, one in three get it. Not only is autism an alarming epidemic, but so are thousands of other illnesses in epidemic proportions. In my neighborhood, one in three homes has someone diagnosed with a mental or developmental illness. I have gobs of disabled neighbors in their 40s and 50’s. Wake up world; things are bad. In my childhood, there were 5 people in the entire grade level that went for some assisted learning for English or Math. Now, there are entire classrooms of special needs children who can not do any regular education classes. Diagnosed or not, they have much more severe symptoms and are much more disabled.

Answer by Sunny
So, autism is just being diagnosed better to your mind, right? And the “experts” say it’s “incurable” and will require “lifetime care”. And current numbers indicate that 1 in 91 children (1 in 57 boys) have autism..

So, just WHERE are these autistic adults? You MUST know several. You must have several in your family. There must be WAREHOUSES of these folks, right?

You don’t know any, because they don’t EXIST. This is an EPIDEMIC–environmental, as they all are.

Answer by AnnaBelle
A friend of mine has a son who was diagnosed with Autism in 2007, when he was 3 years old. She has two other children, a girl and a boy. In the last 10 weeks, both of them have been diagnosed as well, the youngest being 2 years old. That’s 3 of her 3 children diagnosed with Autism. And you don’t think it’s an epidemic?! It’s growing all right. Totally out of control.

I am inclined to agree with Sunny, that Autism is reversable and preventable. To imply that Autism simply could have been masquerading as “stupidity” for all those years really speaks volumes about YOUR intellect. I believe that it is largely environmental and dietary. And I believe that the influx of toxic CRAP coming into our bodies every day is taking its toll on all of us…Some are affected by autism, some cancer, some alzheimers, etc…And while we are busy “fundraising” for a “cure”, relinquishing control of monetary resources to people who do NOT have ANYONE’s best interest at heart (Big Pharma) we waste time and energy that could be spent healing ourselves and our children. You can’t expect to continue taking in toxic crap from our water, food and air, and pop a magic “cure” pill.

But good on those doctors, eh? Pfft.

Answer by Jennifer L
Yes. That can be a factor. I’ve worked in child/adolescent psych for a few years and that was discussed at length by the psychiatrists. Also, some of the diagnostic criteria has changed over the years. I agree that over-diagnosis and misdiagnosis can contribute to the perception that autism incidents are increasing.

Same thing with ADHD. Yes, there are children with this diagnosis and they do need medications. But it wasn’t that long ago when doctors were slapping that ADHD diagnosis (without being tested by a qualified specialist) and handing out Ritalin like candy.

Another factor can be that the wrong doctors are making the diagnosis. Autism should be diagnosed by a child/adolescent psychiatrist. Not a pediatrician. Not a family doctor. Not even an adult psychiatrist. You wouldn’t expect your family doctor to do open heart surgery, so don’t expect them to diagnose severe mental illness.

I remember one instance where a parent got very angry with a doctor because he wouldn’t diagnose the child with autism. The reason the parent wanted the diagnosis was because being autistic meant more benefits.

Autism in Toddlers Can be Detected Early–Compared to Infants?

Posted in Toddlers on 19th September 2011

Autism in Toddlers Can be Detected Early–Compared to Infants?

Article by Bonita Darula

Toddlers, with Autism can be detected early, compared to infants. Is this true? Many parent(s), caregivers(s) are concerned, if their infant will have the disorder of autism. Although there are signs of hereditary factors or problems existing from birth, it may be difficult to know for certain if your infant has autism at the time, when he or she is born.

Toddler age, about 3 years, give or take on the age, the disorder of autism will start to show up and it is easier to identify. It would seem easier to detect autism at birth and infant age, than at toddler age, especially when you as parent(s) or caregiver(s) want to know or have hereditary factors involved or certain signs that may lead towards the disorder. It is frustrating to wait, wonder, and not be sure, if your child has autism until he or she becomes near toddler age to have a more accurate knowledge and information.

Toddler age is the time for most individuals with autism to have the signs surface and become real, that there is a concern compared to infants. There are reasons for these signs to appear.

For example:

** Autism symptoms and the severity of it, depends on their gender, age, and environment. Not all individuals are the same

** Toddler age, you can determine if your child has verbal communication, wants to make conversations that continue for it to make sense or for him or her to understand it.

**Sometimes, there is a concern, if your toddler does not like to be held or resists, hugs and gentle touch of assurance.

**If you try to have your toddler attend pre-school, or introduce him or her to play games or be with other children, they do not participate or show very little interest, if any at all.

**Toddlers at times, do not like or enjoy normal noises and sounds. The noise seems too loud and does not make sense. They cover their ears to avoid the loud noises and sounds, that are normal to us or others.

**There may be the concern for toddlers, because they do not always understand language, or vocabulary, what the words mean or understand. Parent(s) or caregivers(s), may believe their toddler is having trouble hearing or a hearing problem.

**Some toddlers will hear words and sentences and repeat them over and over again in repetition, without knowing what they are saying or what the words mean.

These are some of the examples, signs, symptoms, you may want to look for in your toddler, if you feel there may be any inkling of the disorder. These signs and symptoms usually do not appear in infants.

If you do have some concern or feel there may be any indication of autism present, have your toddler checked by a professional autism specialist, that will be able to give you concrete answers.

If you have your toddler examined at an early age or when you feel it is necessary to be examined by professionals in that field, you will