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Can’t deal with my bipolar mother anymore!?

Posted in Working Mothers on 3rd September 2012

Can’t deal with my bipolar mother anymore!?
Okay, sorry if this is so long!

My mom basically walked out and left me when I was about 9/10. She would lie to me and say my dad had a restraining order or she was in hospital and couldn’t see me, and often disappeared for months on end without talking to me. The worst was when she got arrested for beating my dads girlfriend in front of me. I have flashbacks of my mom throwing all sorts at my dad (chairs, phones, ect) and my dad never did anything back. She would call me up and tell me she was about to commit suicide and emotionally and mentally abused me. I figured she was bipolar as she’d suffered post-natal depression when I was a baby, as her mother died of cancer while she was pregnant. I’m now seventeen and things are better, but not good. I see her on weekends (though she has a ‘weekend off’, which i find ridiculous). I just want to know what to do. She’s constantly calling me ugly and saying how she has a better love/social life and will openly tell me about her sex life. She is intrusive (at one point she went to my work and quizzed a co-worker about my relationship with a boy). Whenever we get into an argument she says “you’re never gonna see me again” or “you’re saying i’m a bad mother” or “you’ll all know when I run away/ kill myself / arent here anymore”. There was one occasion she asked me to work and when I said I couldn’t as I was seeing friends, she screamed that I was selfish and immature. I’ve been looking for work for about three months and she always says “if I was with you, you’d get a job anywhere straight away” just belittling my work. She also said she thinks i’m lying about applying for jobs. I work voluntarily at a museum and she heard me tell my bos im working all week and then proceeded to say its not real work and why can’t i just cancel to hang around at her work all day. When I said i’d come to her work in the morning, she said im selfish and think the world revolves around me. She always wants to know what im doing and intrudes on my life and seems to thrive off attention. She’s always pretending to be sick or ill to get attention from anyone, and when i don’t give her it, she gets angry and threatans to never see me again. Sometimes i just sit and cry because I know a mother shouldn’t treat her daughter like this. I’m seventeen looking for a job, I do voluntary work, I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs, I spend almost every weekend at home, barely have a social life and I try so hard to do well in school and she just seems discontent and only really pays attention when something bad happens. I hate this and I need help!

Best answer(s):

Answer by jess
Stay far far away from her.Go with your Dad or yourself.

Answer by Carol
Your not helping your mother by caving into her demands, your actually making it worst.

Believe me she is like gum on your she she will never leave you again, your not a child (she probably doesn’t like children because she WANTS ALL the attention. But she has to learn that life is not like that, and you have to be the strong one because she is mentally imbalanced and incapable of right thinking, so you have to force it on her by not caving, so she Will learn the world does not evolve around her. That is IF you EVER want your on life.

Smile when your about to tell her something you know she won’t like (don’t be angry or smirk.) Talk to her like a child, for example “Well Mom I love you but….I’m working toward my Future, and this may not be anything to you but its something I enjoy, and will continue to do. Your a grown woman I can”t babysit you all the time. I need my own life and you do too, I know ir’s scary but there is a whole world out there that we both need to find our niche in. And each of our niche is going to be different, so lets both be brave and seek them.”

Of course you different ways and your own words but this is the over all message you will need to keep repeating in various ways till she finally gets it…and until you do too. Enjoy YOUR life, she had a chance to enjoy hers and doing less it keeping you both from finding your own paths.

*FAMILY ISSUES* I do not know what to do anymore!?

Posted in Working Mothers on 22nd January 2011

*FAMILY ISSUES* I do not know what to do anymore!?
10 points!!! Read please
Ok. So a couple months ago my grandmother got surgery. The only people who helped were my mom,dad, and my aunt. My uncle did squat. BTW, Its his mom he is my mom’s asshole of a brother* and my father does more to help my grandmother in a month then he does in a year!!!!! My mom takes her to therapy, right after work after she takes her us to school, then wakes up gets 2 hrs of sleep gets her, picks us up from school, and goes to work. Then today, he was supposed to pick up my grandmother 2 fucken hours ago, but got overtime at his “hard” job, Bullshitt if you ask me! Then ontop of that, he says to my mother “Eileen, do not say you worked hard this week i’ve worked 60 hours this week.” he is a jew if you ask me.(Sorry if offensive) meanwhile, my mother worked over a 100 hours this week!! And then he said “Try to do my job, you will not last a second.”
But he DOES NOT have to take care of kids, his mother or anyone but his self.
My mom is a nurse and father a P.O so you tell me that being a fucken magazine truck driver is harder than that?!!! what to say?

Best answer(s):

Answer by pow
arguing with him will only make it worse hunni and trust me i have family that is exactly like him. i think ur parents are doing a good job in helping ur grandma. ur uncle is being selfish and it might help if ur mom addressed him about the situation(not around grandma of course). he shouldn’t act like that because he will never know when he will need help, so u and ur parents keep doing a good job and don’t even let him bother u. hope i helped.

What is it with mother who just don’t want to be mother anymore? Why did they have kids?

Posted in Working Mothers on 12th December 2010

What is it with mother who just don’t want to be mother anymore? Why did they have kids?
Ok my step son has to do everything himself, he wants to eat he pulls food out of the freezer (yeah he eats only frozen dinners), he set’s his own bedtime, he get’s himself up and off to school, does his own laundry and it is his responsibility to make sure his homework gets done, it has been this was for a little over a year and he just turned 13.
My ex-step sister has her kids (ages 10 & 8) clean the house, do the laundry, don’t help then with school work, they set their own bed time, and they are currently potty training their younger brother (age 3), they change all the diapers when they are home – sibling’s are 3 and 1 year.
To me it just sounds like these kids are just raising themselves or is it just me? Why have kids if you don’t want to take care of them??
I really don’t think these mother do anything but put a roof over their kids head and give them a bed to sleep in….what happened to being a “mother”?

Best answer(s):

Answer by lj1
It sounds like they are just plain lazy. It is fine to ask your older kids for a little help with the younger ones sometimes, but they shouldn’t be expected to do everything.

Answer by lisaanndubay
call child pretivite services on her

Answer by sara b
In the case of the 13-year old, I can understand giving him some responsibility. But, he is doing too much for a child his age. He will feel anxious, neglected, and his grades will probably suffer if this keeps up. Also, he will be more likely to fall in with a bad crowd since he is being given so much freedom and no oversight.

As for the younger kids, that is just very sad. It sounds like the parents are lazy, overworked, negligent, or apathetic. Whatever the reason, someone should call social services to make a few house calls. That might scare them into being actual parents.

ALSO I’m not so sure it is all the mother’s fault. What happened to the FATHER’s duties to care for and discipline his children, also? After all, he had half of the responsibility in creating the children, he does not get off the hook. I think BOTH parents are responsible.

Answer by Shelly F
It’s good to teach kids responsibility and to let them help with the things you mention but your ex step sister is going Way overboard, she IS just letting the children raise themselves. She needs to grow up and start taking responsibility instead of putting it all on her children.