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Affairs…….. - Baby-sitting & Childcare

4 Classic Affairs……..?

Posted in Working Mothers on 3rd March 2012

4 Classic Affairs……..?
The 1st Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about
having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, “There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look
at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
behind my back?”

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, “! Not this time!”

____

The 2nd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a
startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever
seen.

“I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to
be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must! be saved for
posterity.”

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

“I have to show you something you won’t believe,” he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
“My God!” the wife exclaimed, “Schwartz is dead?!?!”

____

The 3rd Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
front door.
“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.”
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
“Don’t move until I tell you,” she said. “Pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh it’s a statue.” she replied. “The Smith’s bought one and I liked it
so much I got one for us, too.”

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a
sandwich and a beer.
“Here,” he said to the statue, “have this. I stood like that for two
days at the Smith’s and nobody offered me a damned thing.”

_____

The 4th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, “I have something I must confess.”

“There’s no need to,” his wife replied.

“No,” he insisted, “I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!”

“I know, I know,” she replied. “Now just rest and let the poison work.”
A rating on your favorite just to know how evil you are. lol

Best answer(s):

Answer by Andy
lol

Answer by sofia
i dig the first one best.

Answer by eltonto.1958
Ohhh yes, I’m sure my journey will begin well.

Answer by Dreamer
I like the secound one the most.

Answer by leafia_5
I like the last one.

LOL HAHAHAHA!!!!

Answer by nightwing47
i ranked it as:

1- 4th Affair (funniest!!) 😀
2- 2nd Affair
3- 1st Affair
4- 3rd Affair

Answer by nikita loves_
hahahha well it’s real hard to decide so i gave u a star insted

Answer by B-ball_Killa
These are all funny but I think the third is the best.

Answer by Dodgy
they are brill

Answer by stooky30
The 3rd one made me laugh