HomeWorking MothersSuggestions on how / when to take a step back?
Posted in Working Mothers on 31st October 2010

question of Dear Jane …: suggestions on how / when to “step back”
I have problems with my oldest son step. He is 4 years old, and I hate to say it, but he is the hardest 4 years old I ever seen in all my years working in child care. I read up on being a step parent and one of the most important “rules” in any book I’ve read is to “step back” want to leave their parents, the parents and their parent companies own child. Ok, so I dass.Es is only one small problem I have with it is embarrassing ….. My husband and I have very different parenting techniques. He has them “to express what they want” and I have a strict “no back talk” policy. And I can not tell him, we are not seeing his children. So below are two scenarios I see regularly from his oldest. I put on his usual answer, and my usual answer and then I would other parents (please feel no need to comment if you have no children), to suggest how I can “Get Over It” and “step back” like. Or just tell me if you think I’m “mean” as he has or if I in Unrecht.SZENARIO 1: Papa says, and son replied: “(son), you are on the toilet, not in a . have time to walk away, “” But I do not know / want to go “Dad usually says:” You need to go to the bathroom, so you do not have any accidents “and son on auf.An this point I would like to usually insert “, go to the toilet now.” He goes dann.SZENARIO 2: son begging to go swimming all day and stops, because Dad has mentioned it. Finally, dad and we go swimming. Once we arrive there son says: “I do not want to swim I want to go home..” And it holds you all the time we are da.Die whole time he’s whiny, Papa keeps suggesting, “Let’s throw from the edge” or “let’s play with the” etc. No luck with dad and whining keeps on. Finally, I throw a “Stop whining. You’re the one who wanted to go swimming in the first place. If you want to go home and then you’re just whining there, so STOP.” “I think stoppt.Ich, the reason why I tightened it becomes apparent that he whines about everything and he is the one who whine to get it in the first place. It is a never ending battle trying the father, to please him and to never look when he comes to visit and ask me finally so I tightened it goes home early. Every time I turn in more and more of the “wicked stepmother” Sheesh he was 4, of course I am! The time before (Easter), we took him to a friend of mine in the house because they are children of his age and the whole time he whined that he wanted to “go home” has. It was so embarrassing. And because “he’s not my child” (I hate to say this bc techincally I inherited him when I married his father), people think I’m out of line when I turn it right. What should I do Best Answer:

reply Llew
First, in discussion with the child, as you are, above all the whining comment is terrible! And yes, I have children, and yes, they would complain! His children do what they can do — it all day long. Why? Because it often works — parents give in because they can no longer ertragen.Aber you abruptly give orders – 4 Years requires determination, but also a lot of love and understanding. Especially, do not you are his mother and he knows that he feels comfortable that you are taking attention away from his father ihm.Ein strict “no talking back” policy means the child learns, he can not express his feelings. I agree, the parent company is the parent company and have the last word, but the child is a person even a little one, that love, comfort, security and someone he has lovingly think Führung.Ich, would you benefirt and her husband a little advice, so that the two of you can get to learn how better to deal with a patchwork family. Also could be a few “self help” books on step families openly as nützlich.Wie the evil stepmother, usually a child between the ages of 4 more to take up the step-parent than an older child. However, he is probably picking up on your attitude, that he is a problem and you do not want him around – Gee, think about how you would feel if it were treated like you – you would not want to be exact, there and would probably not be happy and well behaved – so consider, he is only 4 years alt.Und, yes, you must learn to accept, he will be there — he and his father are a package deal. works for your marriage, you and your husband to learn how to deal with the child -. He is a part of your marriage

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