HomeChild SupportShould I file for child support and custody of my 4 yr old?
Posted in Child Support on 24th January 2011

Should I file for child support and custody of my 4 yr old?
I have a 3 1/2 year old who is happy and healthy and who loves his Daddy and vice versa. His father and I were together for 4 yrs – I supported him and paid for everything – he never worked. After going to treatment, he is now sober and has a great job. He just started making “child support” payments a couple of months ago, but I know that it is NOT 20% of his income. He is very manipulative and has convinced his family (who don’t care for me at all and don’t include me on anything but are the best grandparents) that I am crazy and have serious issues. They are all service level “nice” to me. He has made it clear that we won’t ever be together – even though we slept together last month. I kept hoping that we could be a family and didn’t want to ruin any chances of us all being together by filing. I have been stressed on bills and with his latest threats of filing for joint custody, I think it would be better to file and get everything in writing and move on. I can’t seem to..

Best answer(s):

Answer by BOOBOO
yea it salways gona be mommy an daddy hookin up no matter what…. why not ask for more if he makes mor emoney but u cant be blowing the money on stuff you want tho..the child money is for your baby not for u to blow tho ok

Answer by jeanette
should file everything and move on. if he says you’ll never be together, then its over and at least you can pay your bills.

Answer by sweeTie
well snap out of it and go to court before you regret it!!! think about your son, and the life you want to provide for him, just do it, you will be glad you did when its done!

Answer by My two cents
DOnt be having sex with him, thats opening a can of worms you dont even want to get into. Get court ordered support. My husband pay CS and his children are entitled to 50% of his disposable income, not 20. head to court sista!

Answer by Sophia R
maybe you should talk to your lawyer, just to check everything out. If he has made it clear that you will not be together again then i guess you should move on, easier said than done i know.

Answer by kris55a
go down and file.
stop being manipulated.
you have been a good mom for all this time you are not going to have to give up your baby.

Answer by Justin H
If you can’t come to some amicable agreement together, then yes you should file for custody. Whatever you do though, remember the best interests of the child – in all ways besides just visitation, custody, and support. Your goal should be to make sure your child is taken care of, not to get back at your ex or stick it to him.

Answer by tobiekelly
this does not sound like a healthy relationship if you supported him and enabled him to continue using. Why sleep with someone if you are not in a relationship. Stop and read what you wrote, does it really matter if its 20% shouldnt you be happy he is paying at all as for the custody if the dad is clean and being a good dad why go there try looking at what is best for the baby and not yourself no one said it would be easy to be a parent try cutting back on things that you dont need for the sack of the baby

Answer by Sam
you should be glad that your ex-husband is giving you child support and still seeing your son. Many fathers do not do that. It is hard for both the parents and the child when fighting for custody. Filing though is the best answer, I have three children. One boy and two girls. My son prefers to be with daddy and my girls with me. It will be a harder process for you considering he is the only child. Still having a relationship with your ex-husband is not good on you physically or mentally.

Answer by siratticus
You need to file. If he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to get back together, having sex with you doesn’t change anything. Child support is for the benefit of your child, not punishment for him. If you guys were never married, you’ll probably have to file in juvenile court & they may appoint a lawyer to represent you. Otherwise, hire a good lawyer or check with your local State Bar Association & they may have a program for people who can’t afford lawyers. Either way, it’ll all take a load off your mind once you get it resolved. Then, no more threats and you can move on!

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