HomeChild CareParents: Do you feel like the word “parent” defines you, as a person?
Posted in Child Care on 2nd April 2011

Parents: Do you feel like the word “parent” defines you, as a person?
There are some people who, once having children, seem to become nothing more than simply a mother or father.
They live for their kids, and lose sight of who they were before they had kids- giving up hobbies and other things so that they get to spend every possible moment with their children. When asked to define themselves, these parents are more likely to say simply “mother” or “father”, rather than other words such as “funny” “intelligent” “caring” or “silly”, just to give a few examples. Even though ALL of these words could describe this person, they choose to use the one that means the most to them- “parent” (or mother or father, respectively)

Then there are other parents who, after having children, simply add “parent” to their list of defining aspects of themselves. These people love their children just as much as the parents in the other category, and are just as good of parents- they just don’t let it define who they are as a person.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with falling into either category, I’m just curious to see where you would place yourself.

Do you let your role as parent define you?

Best answer(s):

Answer by Cheyenne’s Mama – AGAIN!!!!!
There are many things that define who I am as a person, the top of my list is wife, mother, Christian (not necessarily in that order) because they are the most important things about me. I don’t define myself with many adjectives though, because I may see myself as funny and others may not.

Answer by Emoja
I don’t think any adjectives could really define me. It seems so limiting to label yourself just one thing. I’m a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a million adjectives.

Answer by parent
My name pretty much says it. It is only a temporary thing. You know 15 or 20 years. Much better then what I was. I believe for the short time you have them they should be your priority. They didn’t ask to be here we forced them to and because of that our responsibility is first to them and second to whatever.

Answer by eli’s mommy….(rosie)
I can see which way you are leaning here, lol. BUT, I AM a parent, and that is who I am now. My son is my life and I couldn’t be more happy. Now, do I completely neglect who I am 100% of the time? Nope, still got out with friends, still have dates with my husband, still enjoy painting and art. But parenting will ALWAYS come first in my book.

Answer by Bella’s Mommy/Texas/Christia
I think I have always wanted a child, and when I finally became one, I felt like I was what I was suppose to be. I have always, been the kind of person who took care of people, my brother, friends, so I think I had this role long before i really became a mom.

Answer by desmeran
i’d list “mom” among a bunch of other things. no, i wouldn’t want it to define me. but i’m fine with it being a big and important part of me at the moment.

it’s hard not to give up big other parts of your life as a stay-at-home parent of four kids … i’ve been home with my kids for 10 years today (happy birthday to my oldest!). i can see why parents of young children, especially those who stay home, can have the “parent” label become really dominating for a while; if it takes 90% of your time then it’s 90% of what you think of when asked to describe yourself. eventually, though, they grow a little, need you less, and you add things back on your list of how you define yourself.

Answer by Texas Mommy!
My role as a parent does not define me completely. It’s a HUGE part of who I am but I have many things that define me:

Christian
Wife
Mother
Artist
Sister
Daughter
Friend
Creative

I don’t let being a parent dictate my whole life. But it does dictate a large part of it, just as my roles as a wife and a Christian do. They all make up who I am. I’m one of those who add “parent” to my list of roles 🙂

Answer by amber 18
It is important for us to remember that we are still wives, husbands, sisters or brothers, neighbors, voters, and church goers, etc.

One of the biggest “problems” or not good habits that this generation of parents has started is putting the children in the center of the universe. These children have every toy they want, new clothes each season, belong to every possible activity group they want, get to choose what they eat and when they eat it, are the center of all family vacations, etc.

This is not good for marriage (hence the divorce rate), it is not good for individual development (either the mother or father), and it is not good for a balanced family life.

It is so easy to be sucked into being a perfect parent – but we forget that being a perfect parent actually means telling your kids no, and telling them to sit down and be quiet while you and daddy have a glass of wine at dinner and talk. It means telling your kids to go read a book so you can read your book. It means telling your kids no, you can’t have that because we need paper towels and milk this week. That is being a good parent – preparing them for the real world.

This might seem like it is off course – but I don’t think so. We have to try and be good spouses, good neighbors, good friends, and good to ourselves too. Everything in moderation… we all have different priorities, but hopefully we all have more than one.

Answer by Having Fun
I would be the latter. I take care of my kids but I take care of myself too. I don’t listen to metal around them but I’m goin to slayer in a couple of months.

Answer by jaja11
Absolutely, Mother and wife define me. but mainly Mother and I would not want it any other way. I lived my life with many other adjectives in it’s place and it is not nearly as fulfilling as the one “Mother”. I tried 4 years to have my child and now that is all I want to do is spend as much time with him and my Husband as possible. I do still work 7 to 3pm every day and have vacationed to Las Vegas without him but every minute I am away i wish I was with him. You may say I am clingy or over attached but he is only 20 months old and Yes I am attached and he is the CENTRE of my universe.

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