HomeWorking MothersOn the verge of a Marital nervous breakdown please help, serious replies only please?
Posted in Working Mothers on 27th January 2011

On the verge of a Marital nervous breakdown please help, serious replies only please?
Hi all,

I have been Married for seven years, with two lovely children. I have been working with this company for quite sometime and unfortunately was forced into bankruptcy. I lost my job, the Car the house and everything. We were forced to relocate to a different state and live with my in-laws till we get back on our feet. Lately my wife have been bombarding me with verbal insults that “IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.” And to add insult to injury threatened me that “she is going to find a man that will financially support her” and “why don’t you go back to your mother.” I am contemplating on leaving her. My question is I love my two children, and I don’t want them to go thru what a Divorce or separation anxiety. Am I being stubborn for loving my kids more than putting up with my wife verbal insults? I know each day is getting worse and getting ugly, but it’s getting to the point of breaking me. I need serious help!
Winnie that was a good response, unfortunately my Children are 7 and 2. Pretty much too young to understand the whole reality of things.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Bella
regardless if you two divorced or stayed together, the verbal insults will stay. unless the two of you get therapy. no one should ever talk to you like that EVER! especially since the two of you have children together. trust me, if you let her get away with this, she will talk even more trash to your children about you when you get divorced.

Answer by Maggie
Your wife is being verbally abusive. This sounds like “The Pursuit of Happyness”. You’ll get back on your feet, I’m sure. In the meantime, don’t allow her to talk to that way to you, to your children, or in front of your children. And yeah, I’d leave her. Your kids will be fine – it will be better for them to deal with their parent’s divorce than to deal with their mother’s abusive behavior.

Answer by BOGART
dump the screeching hag and I hope you learned your lesson on women. Never get married again or you are doomed once more.

Answer by TurnMeInsideOut
She is not being supportive of you…you need to have a serious talk with her on how both of you can handle the situation “effectively” without the verbal insults…after all this is what marriage is about:)

Answer by luckystar
im sorry for what you are going through, a marriage is through
think and thin, etc she need to understand that this is
partnership, i would not take the abuse from her or any
one else. try to get counseling or if she want out then
let he know there the door use it. as for the children
it is hard for them but dont stay in unhappy situation
that will only be harder for everyone concerned. as for the
other man that can support her, tell her to go and find
him, why you playing.

Answer by typicalnotme
You are not being stupid for loving your kids that much.. I think that it is commendable. She is being very unkind and rude. Maybe it is the stress. Maybe you two can sit and talk about things and work it out. Hang in there.

Answer by Winnie
Its sad to see another family break up, but one thing I have learnt is that children would rather have two happy parents living apart, than having two unhappy parents staying together for the sake of the children. It takes two to make a marriage work and each relationship has its ups and downs. Some people are strong and can handle the good and bad times, then there are the ones who are quick to blame the other. Only you can make the final decision. Cheers and good luck.

Answer by Sweet Suzy 777!
You shouldn’t let her insults decide who you are. To thine own self be true. You know all this hasn’t been your fault. Go back to school and make every effort to improve your situation. Stay with your wife. Don’t answer back to her insults and she will be obviously the one in the wrong. Take every opportunity to get a good income so you can move into your own place again and get your own car for the family and start again. She is being very selfish and showing a lot of fear. It’s up to you to make her feel that you are doing everything you can to improve your families circumstances. You can do it. You must stay with your wife and children.

Answer by angela
Have you considered counseling? If that is not an option, maybe trying to sit down and talk to her- with someone there who is unbiased to keep the yelling to a minimum? If nothing try writing her a letter, just tell her how you feel. Obviously you two loved each other, and probably still do… so maybe the best thing would be letting her know that you still love her and you want to work things out. Don’t do it just for the kids sake. If she wont hear any of it, and wont consider councelling, maybe your right to want a divorce. Best of luck to you.

Answer by sky3000
Oh my! Ultimately you have to take care of yourself or you will be no good for your kids anyway.

Nobody (male or female) has to take abuse. She’s abusing you. You need to step back and take deep breath and then decide what you are going to do.

If she keeps this up she will break you eventually. She will teach this behavior to your children and if you just sit there and take, they also will lose respect for you.

Get out, protect yourself from abuse. I hate to say it but your children are already going through stress.

Call your local men’s shelter…oh wait…..call the women’s shelter maybe they can help…I’m serious, they might have options for you…at least a brochure to help you with housing relief or food pantry or something. Call a local church and explain your situation to a minister…they also might know of help.

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