HomeWorking MothersMy Father treats my Mother very meanly? Please read?
Posted in Working Mothers on 20th March 2012

My Father treats my Mother very meanly? Please read?
Okay, so lets just say I don’t belong to a rich family. I don’t always have food in the fridge and my parents work as hard as they can to keep a nice roof over our heads, and they work to pay bills and our school fees.
I don’t always have nice clothes to wear; and sometimes we have to do without food for 2-3 days.

My Mother has been diagnosed with DVT syndrome. It’s from her genetic Factor 5. DVTs cause blood clots. My Mother had two blood clots, one in her leg and one in her hip. She had to have major operations just so she could survive. She was kept in hospital for 3 weeks and isn’t allowed to work.

For 32 years my Mother worked as a Registered Nurse and was bringing in good money. Up until the incident with the DVTs.
My Mother can’t work but she still does to bring the money in so we can have food on our plates. She is truly a strong beautiful woman.

Okay, so my Father keeps on yelling at my Mother telling her to get a job. My Mother tries to get a job; but they Hospitals say it’s “quiet” and there is no work there. So sometimes because my Mother can’t get a shift, we go without.

My Father goes frantic and starts arguments. He calls my Mother “Fat one”, “Fatty”, “Ugly”, “Lazy” and a “Liar”. He said to my Mother, “I come from a smart background; and you don’t.” Or something along those lines. I know it was rude of me, but I said to him;

“Both of your parents were working full time as a kid, and still you went without. You only had 3 kids in your family. But my Mother, her Dad only had one job and he bought in enough money to feed a family of 8. Her Mother didn’t work. So I guess that HER family is the smart ones here.”

When the money comes back in, (2 weeks), he always apologizes…
I’ve had enough of my Father treating my Mother like rubbish. It’s hard to watch her cry and think that she has wrecked our childhood because of my Father.

I’m 12 years old…I can’t get a job yet but as soon as I can, I will.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Courtney W
just ignor the yelling and your father isnt sorry just because he says he is. im sorry are just words. hes not sorry otherwise he wouldnt have yelled at you mom in the first place. just keep encouraging your mom to get a new job. it doesnt necessarily have to be at the same hospital she used to work in for now have her a get different job so she can build up some money and then go back to the hospital. i really hope you do figure this sticky situation out. =\

Answer by Lonny ♥
I’m very sorry for you. You poor thing. 12 years of age is much too young to be experiencing the hardships you’re going through right now.

You seem smart beyond your years. Your written grammar is excellent and you seem very strong-willed.

If you haven’t already spoken to your mother in GREAT DETAIL about this situation, then please go speak to your school counselor about this. I know that you don’t want your parents to get into trouble, but you need to understand that your family needs some serious help that YOU YOURSELF can’t offer because you’re only 12.

By law, your school counselor will have to call authorities to intervene after you tell him/her about your situation. It may be the BEST thing you’ve ever done for yourself and your family.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

Answer by 53classic
Stay in school, go to college, you will earn more when you’re done than if you drop out and work ASAP.

Marital communications are a learned thing… the best lesson I learned during my married life is that my wife is NOT the enemy. Frustrations can cause us to blame somebody for the loss( no food, no money etc)
and our spouse is the closest.

May I suggest “A Weekend to Remember” by Family Life Ministries out of Arkansas, Denis Rainey. Google it… my wife and I learned how to communicate to each other during hard times and work together not cut each other down.

Pray for your folks… it helps.

Answer by Lilygirl
This is sad. The best thing that you can do right now, is always show your mother comfort, respect, and love..Im not saying that you should shun your father, but…BUT…If you start to be quiet around him…really keep your mouth shut, and answer him very little, he will eventually ask you what is wrong..Then? tell him that you are unhappy hearing how he talks to your mom, and that it hurts you too…See what he says, but, don’t argue with him..Believe me when I say that parents really listen to what their kids say..This will at least make him think…Also, pray for him, and pray for your mom, and yourself..Sounds lame, but, do it….I wish you peace.

Answer by (:sMiLeY:)
This is what you can do:
First of all respect them. when you treat them with out respect tension tends to rise.
Don’t take sides. what you can do is tell them you love them both and wish for them not be arguing in front of you.
Express yourself. Tell them how it affects you when they argue. Look for the best time to respectfully and calmed down, tell them that their arguments concern you, scare you, and even make you mad at both of them.

You SHOULDN’T do this:
Don’t try to tell them what to do. it might not sound right but believe me when you grow up you will see how different things looked and how they actually were.
Don’t get in the fights. Its bad enough that 2 people are fighting and then put you in it? try to let them fix their problems.
Don’t let the way they act, affect you to the point where you think its right for you to act the same.

Parents often go thru a lot of stress and now even more with all the financial issues going around. i know its hard to live like this but if you try to follow this advice it will make things better. MAKE SURE YOU LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! MAKE IT CLEAR TO THEM THAT THEY ARE UNKNOWINGLY HURTING YOU EMOTIONALLY! i hope i can be of some help. i will keep your family in my prayers, especially for your moms health. SMILEY

Answer by eawick2
Just because your mother can’t find a job in nursing doesn’t mean she can’t take any other job, such as a gas station clerk or the like, especially if times are tight with the family. Is she really “fat”? If so, she is obviously using all the family resources without helping to replenish them.

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