HomeChild SupportMy ex wants to take the kids more and pay less child support?
Posted in Child Support on 7th June 2012

My ex wants to take the kids more and pay less child support?
He’s moving in with his girlfriend next week. They’ve been together for about a year and I really like her. She lives alot closer to me than where he’s moving out from, so I’m really happy he’s moving. Today he says to me “so Sarah* was talking about us taking the kids more often once I move” (yes, take note he said “Sarah was talking about” not “I was thinking”. To which I said great, I’ve long been hoping he would step up more as a father and spend more time with his kids.

Then he says “and so I was thinking if I was taking them more, I wouldn’t have to pay child support” I told him that was rediculous, maybe if it was a 50/50 custody arrangement, that would happen, but he won’t be taking them anywhere close to 50/50. He currently takes them every 2nd weekend from about 1pm on Saturday (used to be earlier but 1 kid has sports, so I drop them off when it’s over) to Sunday night. I’m thinking it might go up to every 2nd weekend starting on Friday night, and maybe 1 evening a week.

Do you think I should reduce his child support at all? He only pays $ 300/month (for 2 kids), and it should be going up this year because he finished school in April and has been working full-time in his field ever since.

At 1st I told him we could discuss reducing it or maybe just not increasing it, but now I’m thinking I shouldn’t lower it all. Child support isn’t just for the number of meals they eat at my house or number of nights they sleep in my house, it’s for all the clothes they need, school supplies, sports fees, pizza days, field trips, days I have to take off work with no pay because they’re sick, over-the-counter medicine, I used to have subsidized daycare but now I don’t so this summer I will have to pay for daycare or camps all summer long so I can work.

So what do you think, am I being fair or should I cut him a berak on child support if he takes them more?

Best answer(s):

Answer by bizzurke
you are definitely being fair, thats ridiculous. 300 dollars a month for 2 kids? he should be thankful. tell him nope

Answer by Nicole
This is why divorce/unwed(or uncommitted) pregnancies break my heart. People should not be making babies with people they don’t intend on being with forever.

Answer by mariasonawire
What state are you in and how old are the kids? Most states use a software program called Dissometer which takes each parents household income (including new spouse’s) and measures it against the percent time the kids are with that parent. It is usually fair but if you need more then you have to prove it. Separate judgements can be made for health insurance, dental and how expenses not covered by insurance will be shared. You can also add school supplies, sports, clubs, etc. Cover anything and everything so you each know who pays what.

If he wants it lowered I suggest going through family court so it is fair and legal. Good luck

Answer by VoiceofCommonSense™
Tell him if he wants to pay less, to take it to court. Then he’ll be surprised when he is ordered to pay more than 300. Don’t let him soften you up. Be strong.
If he starts paying you less. Then you take him to court for more. You’re guaranteed to get more than 300.

Answer by rrm38
It’s all a moot point if the two of you don’t agree. That’s why we have family court systems. Come to an amicable agreement on custody, then go to court to have your custody/visitation order amended accordingly. While you’re there, have the child support order reviewed and have the judge determine the appropriate support amount for the new custody arrangement. Unless the two of you are 100% on the same page with regard to it all then that’s the wisest thing for both of you. It protects you in that you’re assured a certain amount of support and it protects him in the event that you change your mind and decide to go after him for back support if you accept a lower amount and the order isn’t changed (not saying you would, but you never know). My ex and I have been operating outside of the custody and child support order for about the past 8 years, but it’s only because we’re in full agreement on what we both need and what’s best for our daughters. In our case, he pays the full support amount during the school year except for weeks that he has them for extended holidays. They spend most of the summer with him, so I don’t ask him to pay support during those months. Of course, my salary is sufficient to make it without the support and he does also provide them with some of their clothing… so it just works for us to do it that way.

Answer by Aussie_MaMa
Well i get what your saying but its not really up to you.
Child support is also worked out by the percentage of care from each parent.
If you have them 50/50 your child support will halve, because obviously the times he has them in his care will be no cost to you, he will feed them and pay for them when they are with him.
With schooling and stuff like that most people go halves in that if they are separated.
More custody means less child support paid, its the law.

My daughters dead beat bio dad paid me $ 6.50 a fortnight for 3 years cause he was on the dole, now i ammeantt to get $ 200 a month but idon’tt ever see it, just begrate-fulll he pays you something deicent.

Answer by Observer412
Heck no. You are still handling 95% of the expenses. This increase in time spent with the children does not reduce your expenses at all.

Plus even if you do cut him a break and forgo the increase or actually decrease the expenses….he may break up with his girlfriend next week, go back to seeing his children for 1.5 days and then you are still stuck with a reduced court ordered payment.

Answer by Sortedam
Only 300 a month for two kids? That’s already ridiculous. That’s how much it takes to raise one kid in two weeks! If he doesn’t pay for any of their clothes, supplies, field trips, etc., then he should be paying more than 300 on child support. If he takes them 50/50, and buys them half of their needs, then maybe no child support would be an option. But as long as he’s seeing them every two weeks and not paying for anything, then 300 is barely enough in the first place.

Does he work full-time? If not, he should also be offering to care for your kids as well. That doesn’t mean the rate should go down though. Let the 300 go up, and if he refuses to pay, take him to family court.

Hey, don’t worry about upsetting him. If he doesn’t want to pay, he shouldn’t have had kids, should he?

Answer by Ashley
300 dollars? I get more than that for my one and only daughter. I don’t get a lot more than that. He is getting off pretty easy it seems. I think you are being fair. It really doesn’t seem like it was his idea to see his own kids more to start with and his only reason being so he wouldn’t have to pay child support…

Answer by Saya
You’re being fair, stick to your guns and you’ll be fine and he’ll get his just desserts,

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