HomeChild SupportMisuse of Child Support payments?
Posted in Child Support on 5th October 2011

Misuse of Child Support payments?
My Ex wife gets evicted roughly every 6 months from various apartments, does not provide my children with proper clothing (all too small & tight), buys VERY minimal groceries, has internet for herself (does not have cable for the children). On child supprt day, she buys booze for that night, takes taxi’s to the bar, buys cigarettes, orders take out for herself & friends. Social Services have been called 3 times (twice by thier school), yet they think she is meeting there “basic” necessities of life!! How can I make sure my “child support” payments are actually being used to “support my children”?
Again, she does not use the child support (or her monthly welfare checque) to pay rent.. she does a “midnight move” every few months, and leaves landlords bringing her to court when she is months behind in rent. There must be some help for “good dads” that have to give money to “dead beat” moms? I can’t sleep, knowing my children are being neglected, yet social services won’t back me up!

Best answer(s):

Answer by Tim M
Sounds like you picked a real winner

Answer by abc
if all this is true, why are you on the internet right now instead of in your lawyer’s office fighting for custody of those kids??? doesn’t sound like it would be that difficult for you to get them, if all this is true…..

Answer by mezwood
Get custody so that you can take care of them properly.

Answer by mark019
I fell your pain man. My ex is not quite as bad as yours but my ex treats the child support payments as “HER” money. Just keep a very close watch on the situation and consult with a lawyer. Do what ever you have to (within the law) to protect your children. I will be praying for you.

Answer by Voice of Reason
gather as much documentation of the bad behavior. petition the Court of your juridiction for custody of the children and relief from paying child support.

you WILL need an attorney.

Answer by celticbuddha
you need to accept the fact that whenever you hand over child support, it touches her hand, you’ve got absolutely no legal say over what happens to it. she can do whatever she wants.

i’d go talk to a lawyer. being that social services and the kids’ school has been involved, there would be records of it. also get records in regards to her evictions. it may be enough to readdress things in court.

Answer by Quantum Leap
Sadly, there is no provision for what she spends the money on. The people in the system will jump through hoops to make sure they can squeeze as much money out of you as posssible, but they don’t care what she spends it on, nor do they care if she were to keep you from seeing your kids. I went through some of the things you mentioned and the only answer I got was that there is no answer. It’s a broken system that nobody wants to fix. And then they wonder why the children of today are screwed-up.

Answer by bigjuggies79
Spend some money and get a lawyer to try and get your kids. Who watches the kids while she goes out? If nobody call the police and meet them there to get the kids. Then take her butt into court and get full rights. The support money is her money so there is nothing that can be done about that. Sorry not alot of help and you wont get help from answers here just suggestions.

Answer by Jeannine S
I hate mothers like this. They give the rest of us that receive child support a bad name.

I would document everything she is doing and take her to court for custody.

Answer by gunslingerjosey
Nope… often you have no say, but I understand that you can petition to the court to review the treatment and care of the children (aka… accounting of how the children are supported with your funds) and potentially be in trouble in just the situation you describe.

I think right now in this country and abroad, marriage & having children is a scary proposition.

Today, the divorce rate is so high due to no-fault divorce. If you have kids, for women – that means they hold all the cards. A man today has to realize that, love and “the dream” aside, the risks to men/fathers far outweigh the rewards. Check the source – some great books on just this issue.

Family court is tilted heavily in favor of women/mothers. Moms have all the rights, get all the benefits, and dad is too often relegated to a visitor in his children’s lives while being an ATM machine fro mom. He can lose half (or more) of the cash, cars, house, investments, etc… and worse – the children.

Seriously, if I had known then what I know now about how the divorce machine sucks in fathers, grinds them up, and spits them out so unceremoniously, I would have never gotten married and given up my dream of having a family.

With no-fault divorce (the biggest killer of marriage and families) you don’t need an excuse anymore to get a divorce. You just don’t have to feel like being married anymore – and with that reality comes the truth – a marriage is no longer a contract, so what’s the point except to put yourself and your future at risk when someone “doesn’t feel like it anymore?” With women (who have children) initiating almost 3/4 of divorces today (most men don’t even see it coming), it’s the smart man who chooses not to get married and certainly not have children… and that’s a shame.

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