HomeChild SupportLegal Issues – Friend in Child support?
Posted in Child Support on 10th April 2011

Legal Issues – Friend in Child support?
My friend (Vivi) has filed for Child Support.

She is still in contact with the baby’s father (Jake). They get along well and although they live separate (she moved back in with her mom), they still attend Sunday Mass together. At one point they were engaged to be Married, but things didn’t turn out. They aren’t dating, just friends for the sake of the child (Bryan) having both parents in his life.

Vivi tells me that she asks Jake for things for Bryan (he is 3yrs old) and he responds to her “if my son needs anything, I will get it for him” She tells me that she is not working full days or hours so she doesn’t have much money. She tells him that she needs diapers and wipes and some food for the baby along with other things, so if he could give her some money to get it for him. He tells her “Don’t you work? Don’t you have money? I am not going to give you anything, I will get it if he needs it”

Then she tells me that once in a blue moon he will get things for their son but not all the time. She told him that she was going to file for child support because he isn’t really “supporting” he told her “do what you gotta do”

She filed for Child Support in August 2009. With the information she gave the court and what she is requesting from the childs father, she was told that she was to receive $ 600.00 every month starting September 2009. We are now in October and she still has not received a dime from him. She called the court and they told her that he denied the amount and that they both now have to appear in court.

She confronts him and asks him why he had denied the amount for Child Support when he was the one who told her “do what you gotta do.” He told her “That is too much money, how do I know that you aren’t asking for that much money just to buy yourself things instead of for my son? No, I am not paying you $ 600.00 because I am pratically the only person buying him things all the time. I haven’t seen you buy him anything”

He tells her that he is going to fight this in court. He said that he is going to save all the reciepts of things that he has bought his son and show the court that he “has been supporting” him and has proof. Not in form of actual money, but in misc. things that he has bought Bryan through out..

His friends and family members are calling her “Shady” and that they cannot believe that she is putting him thru this. They say that they are all going to save the receipts of everything they have also bought for Bryan and go with Jake to court to fight this. They want to tell the Judge that Jake shouldn’t pay Vivi anything due to everything Jake has bought for Bryan and is still buying for him. And due to everything they have bought for Bryan.

They have a court set date to December 4, 2009. Jake will be taking his friends and family members. She is only taking her mom and her brother. (Should she take more people with her in her defense?)

My question is =

What do you think will happen in court?
Is it necessary for Jake to have his friends and family there?
Will the Judge “rule in favor” of Vivi or Jake?
Are the thigs that Jake has bought considered as gifts inslead of “Child Support”?

Plead give me your input..

Best answer(s):

Answer by Ou812 the hate returns pt2
1. They will award her “support” unless he files for custody
2. No, the judge won’t really care about heresay
3. Probably Vivi unless he has some proof of ‘misdeeds’
4. Yes, they were “gifts”….unfortunately. I have talked to one or two men in the same situation and even though they “supported” they were still charged back support.

It sounds as if your friend may be a little iffy? Has Jake caught her misusing money for his son? It is not uncommon for the mom to use Child support to fund HER lifestyle.

I think you are not telling the whole story, Viv sounds like she is one of those that gives the rest a bad name and has helped create groups like ADAM.

Answer by KMcG
Does she have a lawyer? She needs one not random advice from strangers. And she should be keeping a list of everything that she has received from him for the child, I would even go so far as to make a list of items he brings and have him sign it as proof of what he is contributing. And $ 600 isn’t a lot for a child.

Answer by JENNIFER M
Ooooh. Boy.
Ok here are a few things based on my experience. First and foremost, what most people who are not a primary parent dont know is that it costs alot of money to raise a baby. She moved in with Mom, but is she paying rent? Hydro? Food? Basic clothing (In Jakes mind, if he bought 4 outfits 3 months ago there should be no problem.. kids grow and ruin stuff but Jake doesnt know that because he is a part time Dad). The judge will most likely look at what Jake is earning and see that he went to all kinds of trouble to make your friend look bad and tell him to suck it up. Or he may lower the amount to something feasable. Tell your friend to keep a journal and reciepts for everything she buys for her son aswell… Lets really put the numbers to the test. Also for her to note any all interactions with Jake, especailly conflicts regarding money. Your friend also needs to make sure that Jake does not try to pass off the stuff his friends or family has bought for Bryan as stuff that he bought. I cannot emphisize this enough…..KEEP NOTES ON EVERYTHING, dates, times, who said what. You may never need have the info, but if you do and you have it you will be so much more relieved. Also, this will show the judge that she means business and that she wants to deal with FACTS not emotions or egos.
Best of Luck….
Oh yes.. and if he doesnt pay up once the order has been given. Call the family responsibility office (FRO) and they will garnish his wages and I think they can even suspend his drivers license(dont quote me on that though)

Answer by Beverly S
You will get child support- they don’t count gifts. The amount will be determined by the judge based on what both parent earn.

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