HomeWorking Mothersis this story good so far? im only 12 so my writing is not that good im gonna improve it.?
Posted in Working Mothers on 10th March 2012

is this story good so far? im only 12 so my writing is not that good im gonna improve it.?
just tell me wat u think of it in general.
may 12, 1960
“iris!” her mother called. “come inside for supper!” iris was too busy creeping up on geese behind a bush and jumping out; scaring and forcing all the geese to flutter around in the sunset sky and glide back down to the grass. 
“linda,” her mother said  ” can you bring your sister in, please.” ” surely” linda responded and preambulated out of the kitchen’s back door. “whatcha doin, iris? linda yelled, half down the hill. “chasin geese” she told her sister, you should try it. its fun. youve been out here for fourty minutes chasing geese and getting your hair caught in twigs from the bushes and your new dress and stockings are all dirty.” linda nagged, but iris kept scaring the geese as new ones came and flew in with the rest of the group. linda rolled her eyes but was smart enough to understand what her sister was going through. however, iris didnt look at her autism as a bad thing.
anyway, its time to eat; mom made beef stroganoff and made apple crumb cake for dessert.
fine. most of the geese have flown away anyway. and i am getting a little hungry. iris said this as her stomach growled. good girl! linda cheered as they both headed up the hill. linda was about to put her hand on the back of iris’s shoulder, but iris rolled her shoulder away before she could.
as iris sat down at the dinner table, her younger siblings, one six and one four, scurried to their chairs and waited to be served by their mother.
“where’s daddy?” the six year old asked. “daddy is working late, wendy.” her mother said as she served the little ones first. iris tucked her napkin into the neckline of her dress. linda looked at her and motioned to her hair; trying to tell iris that there was a small twig is her hair. iris quickly pulled it out of her hair and tossed it to the floor beside her. 
so how was everybodys’ day? their mother asked as she sat back in her seat. “good” iris answered with a mouth full. thats not very lady-like. her mother told her. iris continued munching down the stroganoff. her mother took the clip out of her hair and put iris’s hair back with it. we are cutting that mousy hair of yours tomorrow,iris. her mother commanded. iris pictured every single sissor shes seen if her lifetime. “no!” she responded. i dont want them near my head.” dont think about it too bad, iris” ,linda said her,” just close your eyes the whole time and ill talk to you while she snips your hair.” i said no! iris exlaimed. ” lets move to another subject” their mother suggested. “what did you learn at school today, wendy?” “the same thing i learned yesterday.” wendy said as she reached for her glass of juice. “aw. well thats too bad-whoops!” her mother said as she had just dropped her fork. as she bent down to pick up the fork iris ran out of the kitchen before her mother could see the mud on her dress and shoes. now where did she run off to? their mother asked. linda looked at the muddy tracks her sister left on the floor. ” to get a mop.” 
i did this on my itouch so i didnt add quotations and there r a lot of mistakes

Best answer(s):

Answer by Amanda
YES! That is very good! I am an author myself, and i think you would make a great author when you grow up. Keep working on that story. I love the vocabulary in it as well. Never give up on your dream! And yes your writing will improve as you get older, your grammar improves

Answer by Felicity
keep trying. you could get better.

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