HomeWorking MothersIs it me or women these days getting over with child support?
Posted in Working Mothers on 8th May 2012

Is it me or women these days getting over with child support?
Im not sure why/when child support payments got so high. I understand your child gets 20% of you money but that still seems like a lot. When I was growing up my father had 4 kids and had to pay my mom 200 a month ( he hardly even payed that). My mom used that money for things I needed, or if she was short on a bill one month. Normally if there was left over money she put it away so she would have extra money saved if I got sick, the car broke down, the light bill was crazy high one month, or just anything out of the blue happen she would have money to pay for it. My mother worked to take good care of me and made sure i lived on the “good side of town” so I could go to the best schools in my area, she made sure i never went without. Now a days it seems like I see a lot of women who use their children as cash machines. my husbands friend “Bill”( I can not use his real name) pays 1000 dollars monthly for one child. He also pays half of the mothers rent, because she “can not” afford it and he was the one who wanted them to move near him. He’s daughter has reading and writing difficulties and the mother would not pay the 55 dollars a hour for the tutor so it was up to him to pay for twice a week sessions. His daughter is at his house on the weekends, so its not like she is the only one who physically takes care of her. He is a better parent than she is, but he can not have full custody because he travels a lot, sometimes weeks at a time. This woman is a “deadbeat mother”, she allows her boyfriend to lay on her sofa all day long and not work. Bob often buys clothes and shoes for his daughter, so its not like the mother has to buy much for her. I just do not understand why she needs 1000 bucks a month, if he is doing more than she is. She works as a assistant so Im sure she does not make much, but that does not mean she should not be putting up half as well. If he pays 1000 dollars she should be putting 1000 dollars a month up just to take care of her child her child. Being a parent is a 50/50 job. She gets her hair done more than I do, and my husband and I actually have good paying jobs. Bob even helped to buy a new toyota so she could take his daughter back and forth places. He is always buying things for his daughter, he loves her and would give his life for her. often times after he has boughten cloths, payed the tutor, help his BM pay HER bills, and pays for his own needs he barely has the 1000 dollars needed to pay his child support. Yet she has the nerve to call him a deadbeat if he is late one month. Every time I see her she is in expensive cloths, I honestly think she spends the child support or her lazy boyfriend and herself. She even expected him to help pay for the child’s birthday present this year ( an expensive one) even though he had already gotten her one. The sad part is i know men who pay much more than he does, all the BMs I see these days are greedy. I think 150-300 dollars is enough to support any normal child. iI the child has special needs then I can see it going up a little more. Bottom line if the men are putting up 1000 where is your 1000 dollars to contribute?

So Im curious to know what you guys think? Do you think she is getting over or am I over reacting? Feel free to share your stories as well.

By the way I reposted this, I actually never realized there was a parenting category. silly me.
To sara, I understand what you are saying. But he does way more than what is needed to say he gives 1000 monthly in child support. She a so had the child, it his not his fault he went to college and was smart enough to get into a field that pays nicely. If she had done more with her life she would have the money need to for her child. Where is the 1000 dollars going, its not going to the daughters education, cloths, food, or anything else she needs.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Love
People should be staying with the mother/father of their child or not having children with people they dont plan to stay with. Then, this would not be an issue. I think it’s so sad that parenting had been reduced to a monetary donation.

Answer by Sara
I’ll always remember something my uncles said to my grandmother years ago, he’d just had a very good promotion at work and he as a result put up the amount of child support he paid to his ex wife and it was that the girls deserved it as they would have benefited if they were still together so why shouldn’t they still benefit. That was a father who thought about the childrens needs, why should they suffer because one parent can’t earn as much as the other, they’d have had both incomes if their parents had stayed together.

Answer by Ava Brown
Child support is highly sexist anyway. In the majority of cases the mother is given physical custody for 8/10 of the time and the father just gets a bill. Assuming both parents are fit, it should be 50/50 time, no payments, each parent just pays whatever the kids need when they are in his/her care and for big expenses they each pay half. It doesn’t matter if the father doesn’t want custody the judge should make him.

Answer by George MᶜCasland
The problem is not with the guidelines, but with obligors not taking the time to learn how the system works, and what their rights are. Child Support guidelines are not mandatory. All child support is rebuttable under federal law.

This issue is not with the guidelines, it is with teaching obligors what their rights are. The states are not providing child support obligors with this handbook which is free from the feds.

Federal Child Support Enforcement Handbook for Non-Custodial Parents

For 22 years, I have volunteered my time working with divorced/single fathers dealing in family law issues, such as child support, teaching them about what the states are not telling support obligors. However, men are also highly stressed these days, with severe depression and high rates of suicide, which also need to be addressed.

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