HomeChild CareIs being a homeless, drug addicted prostitute in America less tragic?
Posted in Child Care on 30th August 2012

Is being a homeless, drug addicted prostitute in America less tragic?
than being a homeless, drug addicted prostitute in another country?

Is it easier to be homeless, drug addicted, selling your body for food, drugs, shelter in America? Is it somehow less tragic to end up a homeless, poor, drug addicted, prostitute in America? Is it because America’s streets are paved, while many other countries have dirt roads?

Is it less cold in the winter in Minnesota, New York, Illinois, Washington, Idaho than it is in China, Russia, India, Vietnam, Korea, Guatemala, Mexico, S. Africa?

Is poverty “better” in America than it is in other countries? I’m just wondering since this is a main argument in support of IA. Though I’m not opposed to all IA, the US Govt’s issues Adoption Alerts to caution American citizens about adopting from certain countries b/c of fraud, trafficking, etc.
http://adoption.state.gov/news/notices.html

So please enlighten me, is it because poverty is worse in other countries that we should adopt internationally rather than adopting from foster care in spite of the stats on children who age out of foster care?

“In a study of children who had “aged out” of foster care, researchers found that within 12 to 18 months of turning 18 & leaving foster care, 27% of males & 10% of females were incarcerated, 50% were unemployed, 37% had not finished high school, 33% received public assistance, & 19% of females had given birth to children.”
http://www.achildswaiting.com/adoptive_p…
Thanks everyone for your input.

RB. I appreciate your points & agree:stats are worse:the poverty more desperate:the opportunities fewer.

LT & ABR1: Thanks for adding your voices. IT MATTERS GREATLY to hear what you have to say!

MamaKate: Thanks for sharing your POV. I totally agree!

IndianVision: Grateful 2/u for joining in! You & other IA’ees especially have an important voice in the discussion! Glad you’re here!

Angela:Y assume I don’t do research? I’ve traveled to other countries too. What is the point of asking Qs? These Qs & the dialogue created-whether or not we agree-lead to research & to sharing our knowledge & experience.

Take 1 child out & how many 100’s of 1,000’s are left behind? It solves nothing for those kids. Unhealthy kids won’t likely be adopted. $ 30-$ 50k would take care of kids in an orphanage 4/perhaps a year?

In SOME IA there is “baby buying” or child trafficking per the US Govt. Tho certainly not ALL IA.
http://adoption.state.gov/news/notices.html
ETA:IV – As MK wrote, “true charity is not supposed to come with tangible benefits to the “donor”…”what can I do to help in the most effective and beneficial way FOR THE CHILD.”

It’s somewhat disingenuous to argue that “I’m only saving a child in terrible poverty” yet do nothing but take 1 child home b/c really, all the PAP wanted to do in the 1st place was adopt a child. (this does not apply to all IAP’s, incl. RB)

When really some PAP desperately want to adopt a baby, any baby, especially one that doesn’t come with ties to their birth families. I’ve heard those actual words come out of PAP’s/AP’s mouths.

This does not negate YOUR experience. This does not mean there should be no IA from any country. Many AP’s do adopt for the right reasons. I’m saying be honest and I’m saying that no life has less value.

And while LT may have been an adult @ 18, as a female, she could no more protect herself from rape or assault by a grown man or group of men on the str. than a young girl can.

Best answer(s):

Answer by lou
sure it is…. at least here there is hope, programs…. things most countries open to american adoption lack.

Answer by Lash Cat
I very much hear your point and I am from way up north Minnesota and trust me it is COLD, being homeless here would lead to death no doubt. I think many people adopt intrenationally because they dont have to worry as much about the child first parents coming into the picture, or “messing” things up at the last minuet.
When My Sister was preg she was going to do an “open” adoption but she pulled out of it and the couple who had told her all along that they support her no matter what and blah blah all the sudden hated her and they even stated their next move was to adopt internationally.

Answer by Randy B
Poverty and such are tragic no matter where they occur and much work needs to be done where ever it occurs but yes, I do think that conditions such as that overseas in many third world countries is more tragic (if that is such a state) then in the developed world (I’m trying not to stay US or Canada specific). I think that way because at least here in the developed world there are many more opportunities for people to work to better their position if they choose or if they are able to then there are for those in third world countries. In many of those places, once you are down and out (or born into that level of existence) you are doomed to stay there.

Is it less cold in those places or less hot in those places? Generally no. It is less dirty? Certainly not. Are there programs in America and other places to help people? Yes there are. Are there programs in many of these other countries to help people? If there are they are certainly not to the level that we enjoy.

I bet if you look a look at stats similar to what you quote, if they exist, for some of these other countries you would see highter levels of incarceration (and once they are incarserated you would see custody deaths, beatings and tortures), a higher level of unemployment or at very best a subsistance living on the streets and we could only hope for a 37% rate of foster kids/orphans who don’t finish high school in some of these countries but I’m afraid you would see larger numbers then that who never even finish grade school. The numbers for public assistance would most likely NOT be greater because there is NO public assistance in these places and even more women would have given birth but most likely due to rape.

Walk through a market in Delhi sometime and just try to count the homeless street children/orphans trying to make a few rupees a day (1 rupee = about 4 cents US when I was there) by carrying your shopping bag. You get literally swarmed by them when you arrive and they hound you till you leave they are so desperate. . Sit on a beach in Sri Lanka and try to do the same thing counting the children peddling everything from trinkets to their bodies trying to make a living. Visit rural China or visit Afghanistan and you will see more of the same. Down and out with little to no way to improve their lot in life no matter what they would hope to be able to do.

Lastly, when it comes to the stats you quote I would suggest that overseas stats would have one much larger column that yours do not reflect. That being those children that don’t survive to be old enough to “age out” of the orphanages…or even childhood.

Answer by Looney Tunes
This is what I want to say all the time, but don’t, so I thank you for saying it………because everyone is like “have you seen the slums of Brazil, have you seen the poverty in Africa…etc…..

And I want to answer…I HAVE SEEN the slums of NYC as a homeless ex-foster kid….I have begged and “spanged” to get some money for food. I went hungry and froze and had NO WHERE TO GO. I barely graduated high school and compared to other people my age, I am barely making it.

And my one bio-sibling….he too saw the homeless streets of the city but found himself involved with illegal activities TRYING TO SURVIVE and wound his ass in prison for felony burgerly. At least he is warm and fed there…..
He aged-out too.

I get tired of reading this here that it is worse in X, Y, and Z….because don’t tell me that and don’t tell the hundreds of “young people” who aged-out of foster care who are looking for a safe spot in central park tonight that it is worse in some foreign country and that is why they did NOT get adopted…..

ETA:
And don’t bring up programs…HAVE YOU SPENT THE NIGHT IN A HOMELESS SHELTER as a young person in the US?
Safe? hahahahaha………
The streets are safer when you hook up with a group…….At a shelter, it is easy to get your ass kicked in an instance or your belongings stolen in a heartbeat. When you are on the streets with your group, someone’s got your back. My chance of being raped on the streets with my group was alot less than sleeping in a homeless shelter as a young single girl.

Oh. not to mention the fact that the shelters fill up pretty quickly. So, even if you wanted, they are NOT always available.

ETA2:
Thumbs down. LOL You fools………..you are thumbs downing my experiences? Exactly……I should not have had to have the experiences…….but that’s aging-out of US foster care. Screw you…continue to live in your denial.

ETA3:
Indian-vision: Did you really just infer that women who are raped should be able to defend themselves? I suggest you stay far away from any rape crisis centers or working with rape victims if you honestly believe that women who are raped “after the age of 18” did not defend themselves.
And FYI ~ if you know anything about victimatization, if a women has been abused as a child, if she was in a situation where an attack could occur, she might “freeze” and not be able to do anything…this is called Learned Helplessness and it is a very real condition.
You just made a clear “blame the victim” statement……Many rape victims are used to this, but not necessarily from a female.

Answer by anastasia beaverhausen-the real1
personally, i have only been homeless in atlanta, ga. not in any other country.

but i will say that it sucks! but it’s also a situation that can very easily be temporary in this country, which was the case for me.

i volunteer in a homeless shelter a few days a week. in my opinion, there are many people there who are content being homeless, and therefore do not make a choice to change it.

i made a choice, too. for me, it was to not be homeless anymore.

Answer by Independ”ant”
It can actually be worse especially when you’re over 6 or 7 and are smuggled in from foreign countries. The article describe one of the largest known child and youth sex trafficking cases in the United States to date.

http://www.libertadlatina.org/LatAm_US_San_Diego_Crisis_Index.htm

When a joint FBI, INS and San Diego Sheriff’s raid was finally organized and executed, “ten years” after local law enforcement first learned about local trafficking, many of the criminal traffickers and johns escaped.

The movie Trade with Kevin Kline is an accurate depiction of how bad it is in the US. Young single parent eastern european girls are enticed to work in mexico and then held hostage and smuggled into the US….for the sex industry. They drug them up so they can’t function or fight back.

Answer by angelaandabby03
Actually, yes it is worse to be homeless and without anyone in other countries, especially the countries we have been speaking of. If you did any research whatsoever (other than what will support your own very prejudice view) you would know how tragic it is to be in that position in other countries. As long as you are in America, you have a chance. That is SO not the case in most of these other countries.

Answer by MamaKate
Dear Robin,

Being a homeless, drug addicted prostitute ANYWHERE is a tragedy.

I think that people should make efforts to be careful not to confuse treating “symptoms” with finding a “cure”. I wish more people would be more conscious about utilizing their resources to help others in the best and most efficient way and to realize that true charity is not supposed to come with tangible benefits to the “donor”.

As I have said before, I realize that IA is the answer for some situations but I dislike people using it as an example of “charity” or “saving a child” which is what it sounds like when people talk about the level of poverty they took the child from. I do not see it as a “charitable act”. (Charity does not come with tangible rewards for the donor, IMO.)

To me, a child in need is a child in need. The question is not which child is the neediest. The question should be, what can I do to help in the most effective and beneficial way FOR THE CHILD. I submit that most often, adoption, especially out of the child’s culture is not the answer. (AGAIN, I agree that there are times that it is, but believe them to be far more rare than as it currently occurs.) JMHO.

Answer by sunny
But Robin, if your kid’s mama is a crack-addicted ho in the US, they might come a knockin’, KWIM?

Answer by Indian-vision
Robin,
I know i will get tons of Thumbs down for speaking for my country – India. Just like LT did for speaking of her foster care experience. Thanks for sharing it LT. But may i ask were you an adult when that happened….old enough to defend your self ?

Being a homeless,drug addict prostitute is PATHETIC and horrible no matter which part of the world.

But being poor and homeless in India is far far worse than America. No seriously you can’t imagine that can’t of poverty. At least i saw shelters for the homeless and soup kitchens in America and a few people that slept on the sidewalk and stood at intersections with signs that said “will work for beer”, etc. When you say roads in India are just “dirt roads” you will see they are beyond that to the extent of unhygenic in several places. My country is a place where you have the rich live and its like another world and where the poor live and its like reality of another world.

What is saddest are the kids that spill out on the streets because orphanages do not have a place for them. These kids are begging on the streets and running around trying to make money by doing little jobs. (even though employing a child is illegal) or stealing.

I recommend the winner of golden globe winner “Slum Dog Millionaire” because it shows the reality of the kids on the streets of India. Yes the movie is a fiction BUT THE SETTING IS VERY VERY TRUE!

You will then see why the poverty in these places is far far worse when its affecting minors. At least in America the kids are “somewhat” safe in Foster care. While these kids live on the streets.

ETA- But if we always say “helping one won’t help hundreds”…..then no one would do anything good for any one with that logic. People won’t send charity either. How will my $ 10 help millions in Africa ? If we ALL did in WHATEVER way we feel comfortable with and try and help the people…….whether through Foster care or IA or by sending money. right. If people started to say how will fostering “one” child help so many in foster care? Then no one would be helped!

ETA 2–LT i was not talking of your attempt of rape. I missed reading this in your post. I am very very sorry if that is what you thought. I wanted to say i am sure you must have been “HOMELESS AS AN ADULT” I said you can defend your self on the street (not rape situation) far better than a 7 year old can. MY EMPHASIS IS OF THE HOMELESS LITTLE CHILDREN THAN ADULTS.

ETA-3
Please don’t accuse me of not understanding rape. I have been close to a similar situation of office sexual harrasment and i can understand what a woman feels like.I have been molested as a child too by my house help. No where was i making any inference about what rape victims feel like.But you did make too much “inference” from my saying if you were “old enough to defend your self”. I have ALWAYS valued your experience and appreciated your responses because i know you speak with experience. I feel sad that you just jumped to conclusions.

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