HomeChild SupportI need legal advice on how to lower child support payments due to undue hardship.?
Posted in Child Support on 21st December 2011

I need legal advice on how to lower child support payments due to undue hardship.?
First, let me say I am all for CHILD support, when it is actually used FOR THE CHILD and when it doesn’t have a negative effect on another CHILD.

My husband pays child support for three kids, each from a different woman, two of them are definitely his, the third one may not be but since he could not afford to pay for the paternity test he is being forced to pay child support anyways.

His monthly payments are almost $ 1,000 plus the medical/dental/vision insurance he has to pay for even though none of the children use it because they’re on Medicaid.

So, even though he works 50 hours a week at a $ 9 an hour job he brings home around $ 700 a month. That only covers rent and utilities. So what about food, gas, toiletries, cleaning supplies, and most important diapers and wipes for our baby girl?

I understand that as a man he has a responsibility to provide for his children whether they live with him or not, but the money is not used for the children. And by “for the children” I understand that doesn’t mean it has to be spent directly on the child. It can be used for rent, utilities, food, gas, car payments, etc. But when another woman calls my husband’s phone just to yell at him about the check being two days late, not because the kid needed something, but because she wanted to go get her nails done, it really pisses me off. I don’t think it’s right that we have to suffer while they have money to just throw away.

I ran out of dish soap yesterday (Monday) and I have to wait until Friday when my husband gets paid to go get some more. Dish soap costs around $ 1 for the cheap stuff and I can’t even scrape up enough change to pay for it. Our gas and water will be cut off by tomorrow or the next day and electricity soon after. It is 108 degrees outside and we have a 10 month old baby. What are we supposed to do when our electricity gets shut off and there’s no way to cool the house off? We are also very behind on rent and if we didn’t have such patient landlords we would have been evicted already. So, as you can see I’m not just complaining about not having extra money to go shopping and get my nails done, even though I would absolutely love to be able to do that.

What makes all of this even worse is my husband doesn’t get to see his kids or even talk to them on the phone. All three of the children’s mothers have either a husband or a boyfriend that doesn’t want my husband around and he can’t pick the kids up because their mothers don’t like me and take it out on him by not allowing him to see his kids. And when he calls they just want more money and when he says no they won’t let him speak to the kids.

So what can we do? Is there a way to get “child support” stopped or at least lowered to an amount that doesn’t deprive us of the basic essentials?
(I am not asking for opinions on how my husband should have kept it in his pants, believe me, I’ve told him that many times. But these were mistakes he made when he was straight out of high school and he was a dumb, horny kid. Now he is a good man trying to support his family but can’t do it because he has to support three other women that are no longer a part of his life. The money doesn’t go to the kids, their mothers brag about that because they think it’s funny. So taking child support away from them would only affect the mothers, not the children. What is more important? Diapers for my baby or fake nails for some women my husband knew in the past?

I don’t have a job because I have a baby to take care of and breastfeed. I don’t have any family around here that could watch her and there’s no way I am going to put her in a day care with strangers that could abuse her in so many different ways. Not to mention we only have one running vehicle and there’s no public transportation her
I would like to thank Kimberly and George for the information you provided. I appreciate that you didn’t include personal insults against me or my husband in your answers. To the rest of you, if you have time to get online and insult people you don’t even know, then you might need to find a hobby or something more meaningful to do. Oh, and being a stay-at-home mom and wife is not a luxury. It is an extremely demanding 24/7 job with no pay that is the responsibility of every mother. Obviously I do enjoy spending time with my daughter, and raising her like every mother should, but I will admit I miss bringing home paychecks every two weeks. However, there is no paycheck in the world that will make me leave my baby with some stranger all day and let them raise her and do whatever they want with her. I happen to love my child, so I make sacrifices. If that makes you think I deserve to live this way where my utilities get cut off so other women can go shopping and get their nails done then

Best answer(s):

Answer by tonalc2
That would be up to the court that created the support order.

There are programs that can give you financial aid, especially in hot weather with a child in the house.

And if you’re all about the CHILD not being affected, how can you say that giving more money to yours and less to his would not affect them?

Answer by wizjp
Go back to the court, list your expenses and see if they will cut them. There isn’t much else. I’d also ask about a court ordered paternity test for the ?. Gotta be a way on that.

(Man…4 kids from 4 women. As ye sew…..)

Answer by Shelly
Sounds to me like your husband should keep it in his pants. If he can’t feed em don’t breed em! You can hate the system all you want but it simply sounds like you don’t like being broke! Should have thought about that before you married him and had yet another child with him. All of his children deserve to have what they need, if that is a conflict with what you and your kids need maybe you should get a job or 2. And if he is working 50 hours a week he has time to pick a second job too. At the end of the day you made the choice to live like this, not his kids. You don’t like it? Leave.

Answer by MagnusMoss
1.) Get a paternity test…it should cost less then one month’s child support. Get a loan if you have to.
2.) Get a lawyer and file for visitation and child support modification. If you can’t afford one, look for “PILF” or other “pro bono” lawyers in your area. Google, use the phone book, ask at the court house.
3.) Look into fuel assistance, WIC, food stamps.
4.) Tell your husband to get a vasectomy.

Get a job. Nowadays being a “stay at home Mom” is a luxury you can afford if you marry a guy who makes a nice income. You can’t marry the cool bad boy and expect your life to be “Leave it to Beaver”.

So, your husband has three kids by three other women…and ALL THREE are witches who don’t use the money for the kid? Gosh, he has bad taste in women.

Answer by Kimberly
You need to file a motion with the court for a modification in child support. They are fairly easy to do yourself but you can get help through the self-help center most courthouses have. You would need to provide the court with an income and expense report, copies of previous tax returns, and attachments of his other child support orders.

Depending on where the original cases started, he may have to do file these motions in different courts. So, for example if the child support was ordered for Child A in Joe County and Child B has his child support ordered in Bob County then you would have to file individual motions in each county for that particular child.

Answer by Mom2Max
See, the problem is the money does go to his kids. Example:

Yesterday I cashed my child support check and went and got my hair cut and colored. While some of you will frown upon this, last week I paid my rent in full, bought groceries and diapers with my paycheck. I had planned on getting my hair cut, but funds fell a bit short so I waited.

The money all goes into one account. It doesn’t matter if I cash the check and spend that exact money on something for myself, other money (mine) has already gone towards the children.
I’m not going to keep separate accounts for ‘my’ money and ‘child’ money and withdraw a bit for rent, then a bit for electric, then a bit for groceries, then a bit more for my car payment.

It is all the same in the end.

Answer by George MᶜCasland
This will help.
http://childsupportrights.org/WhatPayersNeed2Know
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Dads_House_Ed_Ctr/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/2ndwifeclub

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