HomeToddlersI just don’t get it!?
Posted in Toddlers on 2nd December 2010

I just don’t get it!?
Ok, I understand there are reasons people need to have religion, for different people, there are different reasons.

But, i guess to ask my question, i have to lay the groundwork, it’s a long story, but i will shorten it as best i can, and out of respect for religious people, i will tone down how i word things, cause this really has me worked up.

I have a sister who is TOTALLY into religion. She wasn’t always. She’s done just about every drug in the book, and thank goodness she’s off those now. When she got pregnant with her first child, seh was still doing those numerous drugs, until she found out. She did stop everything cold turkey, when she found out she was pregnant, with the intention that once baby is out drugs are back in, thankfully this didn’t happen. But she traded one addiction for another. Religion.

I don’t say this to be nasty, it’s just how she has gone into it.

She has since married the father of her first child, divorced him, married another and borne four more children.

Ok. Here’s the thing, her first child has many issues, maybe coming from broken home, maybe coming from the mother (who is now oh oh oh so religious) telling her as a toddler “i should have aborted you” and “it’s your fault i married your father”. Ok, these are hard thing to hear growing up, and this isn’t even getting into the question yet.

So, this child, my older sisters first born, which happens to be the oldest of my numerous nieces and nephews, has many issues. She’s hyperactive, for one, immature, no social skills, some psychological issues as well, probably from her equally drug doing father.

Anyhow, this child (who is now grown to adulthood) has faced many adversities. She’s also a very bright (albeit hyper) woman, and has been since she was a little girl. She started playing the piano at 3 years old, by ear, with no lessons. She would hear a song, and sit down at my parents piano and play it, beautifully. She was about six when she started writing her own songs. As she got older, she realized she liked writing, and drawing. But given her creative turn of mind, she liked the fantasy genre, wizards, princesses, quests, etc. and that’s what she wrote/drew.

Now her mother (my sister) forbade her to do these things! She said they were demonic.

Er. Yeah, ok.

I let that slide, i hated to, but when it comes to raising a child, you have the right to raise them as you see fit, when it comes to religion, but i guess i didn’t see how far she took this.

Anyhow, i am rambling, but mother and child just can’t get along, you have a very very creative, talented child, being stifled by a mother. Cover story being religion. What you’re doing is “bad” it’s “demonic”. No it’s not, it’s being creative, it’s writing a FANTASY story!!!!! it’s drawing FANTASY pictures!!!!!!

Anyhow, again, i am making this a short story, long as it’s going so far!

Mother and daughter don’t get along, so daughter goes and lives with grandparents, goes to regular school, makes friends, starts to devlelop social skills, and has since moved on with her life,.

In the meantime. Mother gets very ill while pregnant, which she did with all but her first born (which is the one she couldn’t give the time of day to). Mother is flown, emergently to hospital to be emergently delivered of a child, in order to save both mother and child. Original daughter is very very scared for her mother, and wants to go see her. Daughter’s uncle is going to pay the plane ticket, and accomodations if need be to get daughter to her mother’s bedside.

Mother says “i don’t want to see her”.

What? because she’s creative? She’s your daughter!!!!!!!!! So you’re no longer married to her father, so you’ve since remarried to somebody who’s religious, she’s still your daughter!!!!!!!!

And tonight was the clincher.

Mother is visiting with our parents. I tell her “i want some pics!” cause i haven’t any recent pics of her and hubby and younger children. (oldest daughter is twenty, with the youngest about two, all with current hubby eight and under).

Mother says “i have some awesome pictures. i got some pictures of our parents with all their grandchildren in front of their house”.

Now, i know her oldest child is in another state, and not in front of the house to be photographed.

and i say “except for (will leave name blank)”

mother says “oh, yeah, her……….you’re right”.

this bugs me.

very very very much.

this is a child that did nothing against her mother besides be creative, but her mother, got religion bad, bad, bad. to the point that this is the addiction she traded drugs for. She now has a religious husband, and religious children, and can just discard the original child? that was born when she was drugged out? with a drugged out father? because she doesn’t see eye to eye?

what gives??????? how can you justify this under religious principles? this bugs me very very very much.
This doesn’t answer how you justify basically disowning and denying a child exists, because you don’t see eye to eye!!!
This is the thing, this is a child who wasn’t into witchcraft, or any other religion, she was just creative!!!! Yes there is “witchcraft” out there, and i don’t do the quotations to mock, i do them because i know to different people they mean different things.

There’s a lot i would have loved to do different, like when this same woman, was still a child, and i took her to a museum that showed the history of man (i’m intentionally not giving details, sorry), she’s lookign at the evolutionary diagram, and says “but that’s not how it happened, god created man” and, i’m not religious, but this is not my child, it is not for me to dictate how she is raised religiously, so i just say “i know” to appease her. i think is hould have done what the total stranger did (which was none of her business) and said “that’s not true” but i didn’t.

I love my niece, very much, she’s very creative, despite her many issues.

I also love my sister, i mean , she’s my sister i have to right?
Ok. Hmm, not alot of answers, one answer shows brains, and i think you know who you are, we’ll see if anybody else answers this, cause this really really really does bug me
well the feelers are out there to the first, and returned (as in the one that prompted this outrage) the others are still too young. with the oldest being eight, IF that!!!!!

And much as this ticks me off, who am i to interfere with how someone who raising there children when it comes to religion?

I’m not religious, but i’m tryign to respect my sister in allowing her to raise her children as she sees fit, but oooooooooooh, it’s hard.

Best answer(s):

Answer by tuberoot
To keep it short; forget religion. Try God. Not in an effort to be religious, but in order to know who God is.

Anyone can claim to be moral, but not everyone can know God. God helps those who earnestly seek Him, and those who do He leads to Christ. All the other stuff is just other stuff. Peace with God is gained through Christ.

Answer by Lilly
Thats really wrong. Witchcraft is real (so I guess you could say wizards are real) but she was just a child, she didnt know any better. I dont see anything wrong with it. Religion isn’t an excuse to treat a child badly. I think the drugs fried her brain! Thats just wrong wrong wrong!!! I recommend you talk to the first child, and ignore the mother and the other children if they act the same way. Im okay with Christians, but not THOSE kind. I’m sorry but that’s really messed up.

Answer by fifimsp3
Get a therapist.

Answer by Meow
Do you live in the same state as the rejected niece? All you can do is show her that she is loved, even if it’s not by her mother. Call her often to stay in touch, and perhaps try to invite her for holidays.

I am sad to hear she went through this. I know from experience that it really is a b*tch to grow up with a crazy parent. However, I’m glad that she has family that do care about her.

You may want to extend ‘feelers’ to your other nieces and nephews, too. Let them know that you’re there for them if they ever need you. You never know where else her crazy might pop up.

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