HomeToddlersI am ready for another baby but my husband is not. What should I do?
Posted in Toddlers on 12th December 2010

I am ready for another baby but my husband is not. What should I do?
I feel that I am ready to have another baby. I never wanted my kids to be far apart, I want them close together so that they go through most of the stages together and we get past the “toddler” stage sooner and I dont have a 5yr old at the same time as a baby. But my husband says he is not ready. He dosent really have an answer as to why he is just “not ready”. I feel I am the one who has to be pregnant, I am a stay at home mom and so I am the one who looks after them all day, why is it that because he is not ready I have to wait. Is there anything I can do to change his mind or do I just have to tuff it out and wait?

Best answer(s):

Answer by Erin
get him in the mood

Answer by wasshappenin
tell him your on the pill….and dont take the pill 😉
thats a joke dont do that lol

Answer by Steph
Talk to him about it..find out why he is not ready. Is it because of finances? If that is the case then he will never be ready. It sounds like he isn’t completely ruling it out though.so that’s a good thing.

Answer by Melissa
Don’t push him but do ask him to really think about why he is not ready. Let him come to you with an explanation. Maybe he’s worried about money.

Answer by shy2008
Wait. Having children is a decision for both parents…not just one. Yes, you do all the parenting I’m sure, but maybe he is having a hard time sharing you with one child…never mind 2. Could that be the issue possibly?

Answer by that’s mrs. heathen to you
You should keep communications open about it, try to get to the bottom of why he isn’t ready, and just wait until he is. Don’t just have an accident because it’s what you want. You two are a team, whether you are the stay at home mom or not, and this is a decision that should be made by the both of you.

Answer by Jennifer C
Have you asked him why he’s not ready to expand your family? Seriously, one, two, three…it’s all the same. Does he feel like you can’t afford it? If you want a larger brood bad enough, I suggest you buy some sexy lingerie, new perfume, and get busy getting his attention. Hopefully he’ll come around.

Answer by Frankie
Having and raising kids is a major financial and personal responsibility that should not be unilaterally or tricked into taking. From what you describe, he seems to be the one going to work and paying for the bills and the children supplies. It could be as simple as he can’t work any more hours without sacrificing being home to see his kids. Other reasons could be he is already overwhelmed with the child you have already.

If you want to have another kid, sit down, talk, and work out a realistic plan. Figure out if you can really support this child in terms of time and money and attention FROM BOTH PARENTS…before bringing a life into this world.

Answer by peggysue423
You as couple need to have an in depth discussion about why. He may not want to, he may feel that you will discount his reasons as he knows you don’t agree. So be sure to really listen. But you can’t decide until you really REALLY understand why he doens’t want to have another child.
Becuase if you have a child that he doesn’t want, it can affect that child for the rest of his life.
No one can tell you, yes, go ahead and have a child anyway, or no, you can never have a child unless both of you want it.
You both have to understand the other’s point of veiw.

Is he saying never? is he saying not for two years? Is he saying he’s not sure your marriage will last? Is he very afraid of financial, money? Does he feel he’s not a good dad to the child you have? Does he wish you would work? Is he afriad of birth defects?
Does he feel he is already not getting enough time with you and a second child will take even more?

You’re interested in being mommy. He may be more interested in being a couple. Do you have time together? Or are you overly involved with your child?
Find out why! Even if you never have another child this is something you need to know.

You need to communicate about this. It could take you a week of talking about it for an hour a day to really understand the others point of veiw.

Answer by Marilyn
it is a very very hugh deal, so both of you need to be ready, i really dont understand his reasoning unless your toddler has turned the home life upside down. my kids were all on a schedule & i was quite young,, fed on time, bath, bed time etc. and i din’t allow toys all over the house or temper trantrums,
plus i had foster babies, but i’ve seen some moms who can’t take care of one child without interupting the husband 10 times just saying if a mom is stay at home she should have things under control.

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