HomeChild Carehow to know if you child is being abused, or if something will happen, and what to do about it.?
Posted in Child Care on 11th October 2011

how to know if you child is being abused, or if something will happen, and what to do about it.?
I made this account so that no one would know who i am, so im asking now:
Im married, its almost been 2 years, we have a 6 month old son
my wife gets frustrated when my son cries, and often yells at him to “shut up”, “ill give you a spanken” “i just cant handle you right now” and a ton of other things, she has “spanked” him before for crying because he is hungry/tired. and has even yelled at him “your stupid” or “your retarded” I try to talk to her and she doesnt want to listen, then today she told me the ONLY reason she had a kid is because i wanted to and when i asked her if she was ready for a kid… she replied NO, then quickly changed her answer to, “well who is” which to be honest i totally am, i love kids, have 4 sisters, helped raise them all. I just dont know what to do, she has gotten mad before and left with the kid. so what do i do? I love my wife, i try to talk to her, i stay calm, i dont yell, and all i want is to make it work, but i dont agree with how she treats our kid, and my dad and stepmom keep saying just to stay, and it will blow over, i KNOW it will blow over, but im worried about my kid, is there something i can do to stay with her and help her with self control, and how she treats our kid? i ask her if she would like the weekend off and ill take the baby and go visit family but she doesnt want that, i ask her what i can do to help and she says “i dont know” or “i dont care” its like i just cant help her. I made a committment and I will do anything to stick to it, marriage counseling isnt really an option right now, we dont have the money, and its not just about us, its mainly about our kid, i just dont know what to do at this point, and im worried to even be around her with the baby…

please use sources, this is serious.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Cassie773
Personally I’m not sure if there is anything but counseling that will help. I would sit down and discuss all of it with her. If you belong to a church you may be able to get couples counseling through there. When a child is involved I don’t believe you can just say it will blow over. This may be hurting your child right now and it will come out in his behavior and although right now he may not show it it will do long term damage to him emotionally. Personally I think it may be prolonged Post pardon depression. Some women behave this way and it means she is unhappy and depressed. It doesn’t mean she is a bad person but she needs help. I know money is hard but if something is wrong you need to address it now and not put it off because it will effect you, her, and your son. Counseling is considered mental health and most insurances will pay for it. Also like I stated church’s very commonly will provide marriage counseling or have other services like that. Communication is important too. I would be there for her but also let her know that the way she treats your baby will not be tolerated and that she does need to change. She may not realize what she is doing will hurt anything but I assure you it will. It is a form of abuse to spank a child and verbally attack him by calling him names and threatening him. By standing by you are not taking care of him. But it’s not the end you just need to address this now. Good luck

Answer by Moo Moo
This is abuse, and it’s not your fault at all. I don’t blame you for being afraid to have the baby around her, you just don’t know what to expect. I would suggest sitting down and talking to her about how abusive she has been behaving, and explaining that this is a serious crime. No child deserves to be treated like this, especially a baby who can’t defend themselves if they get physically abused. Since you don’t have enough money at the time for counseling, just take the necessary steps to protect your son from any further harm: don’t leave your wife alone with him, if you absolutely have to leave him with her check him for any bruises or marks that weren’t there before when you come back, and watch her VERY carefully when she is around him. Don’t be afraid to speak up. I hope things get better for you, stay strong and good luck with everything.

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