HomeWorking MothersHow do I justify being a SAHM? I Love it but my Family thinks Im crazy!?
Posted in Working Mothers on 14th September 2012

How do I justify being a SAHM? I Love it but my Family thinks Im crazy!?
I come from household where both parents always worked. My Dads Brother and His wife always worked and My dads Sister and her husband always worked. The word “Stay at home mother” is just not something you really hear in my family.

This weekend Both My Aunts asked me about how I liked being a SAHM and I told them “I loved every moment of it” One Aunt said “When the Twins were 6 weeks old, I was ready to go back into the corporate world, My other Aunt felt the same. Now that my Cousins are Grown up and have kids of there own, They too have followed in there parents footsteps and Now all my Cousins work and there kids(My second Cousins) are in Daycare/School.

Too each there own. I come from a family where All my Aunts and Uncles and my cousins, Have Large homes, Really Nice cars and Great Careers.

My husband and I are the ONLY ones that have a small house, small cars and live off 1/3 of what everyone else makes..and really I would not have it any other way. I realized that I am still Young and my cousins who have great careers and good money are 7-10 years older then me, so I have time to catch up.

But what Bothers me is that my family just doesn’t “Get it”. They were never SAHMs and they come across as they were better then me because they all Had Masters degrees and decided to work..

I am just looking for a way to Fit in an Justify being a SAHM. My husband says that I don’t have to Prove anything to anyone, but sometimes I feel Like I have to.
Marian, That is pretty much what I feel like saying..I Love my family and they adore my daughter..I have to say I am very blessed..But somethings we just don’t get..and being a SAHM is just one they just don’t get.

Best answer(s):

Answer by a chick
You don’t need to justify wanting to stay home with your own children. It’s a job like any other with perks and downsides. Excess money is not a reason to go back to work if you don’t want to.

Answer by Dr. TooFuckn Cool KIA GCG™
Stop trying to justify it and simply state
“its what works best for us and i enjoy raising my kids myself, i wish my parents would have been around more. Just trying to give my kids something I never had”

that’ll shut em up

Answer by mariahrose85
You won’t fit in. They won’t understand. You just need to be okay with the fact that you are doing something you love and everyone else (family included) can pretty much p*ss off.

Answer by Jill P
I am a SAHM mom and often run into working moms who don’t understand or appreciate my decision, or who want to tell me why I’m wrong. In those cases, I simply say in a cheerful voice “Isn’t in wonderful that we live in a country where you can pursue your dream and I can pursue mine?” and that usually puts an end to the discussion.

Answer by Nina Lee
Just explain that it’s what works best for you and your family, it makes you happy, and try not to let it bother you.
I’m getting similar comments from my family for wanting to go back to school for a job that pays half of what I make now. I think they have nothing else to lecture me about so they use that. If that’s all they got… works for me, lol.

Answer by Jane Doe
Anyone who uses the term “corporate world” must be one hell of a bore…

Who cares. Yeah, we took a pay cut when I quit work, but it balances out. I spend less than going to work, shop less, eat out less, go less… it works out as about even in the end. I will go to work when my son goes to school just for something to do, but right now I work harder than any “corporate” person I know…

Answer by desmeran (emeritus)
if someone else was an accountant and you were a writer, you probably wouldn’t feel the need to justify yourself.

it’s the same thing. different choices, not better or worse, and nothing to justify either way.

Answer by Charm
Your husband is right. Your life is your life. It is your small house and car, and your business how you and your family choose to live your life and raise your family.

Answer by hunneybunney
I went back to work when both of my kids were a few weeks old because of the financial implications and I can honestly say that it was the worse thing i ever did or had to do. If i didnt have to i wouldnt have. I am only now in a position to be able to go part time and my youngest is 9. If I had the opportunity to be a SAHM I would have. Think of the much closer bond you will have with your kids than the robotic motions that they will have with theirs. x

Actually just wanted to edit this.. I do have something against SAHM who dont pay their way though. If they have children because they know that they will get a hand out from the government then I have a problem. Ones that live in the uk who have children, have never paid taxes and just sit and wait from their hand out from the uk government REALLY annoy me!

Answer by Chris L
Your hubby is right not having to prove anything. How could they justify NOT wanting to be a SAHM? I mean, it’s your kid, your love, why would you want a someone else raising your kid? Sadly, today’s society is all about material things not about the family. I’m a SAHM by choice, we have nothing special, just our house and car. But like you, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have a college degree but would rather be home with my kid. Kinda confused on why they wouldn’t want to be with their kids at a young age, especially since it’s just a short time before they are off to school!!

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