HomeWorking MothersHow do I get my mom to stop trying to do my homework?
Posted in Working Mothers on 12th December 2011

How do I get my mom to stop trying to do my homework?
Ok, so I am in college and ever since I started receiving homework(since the 1st grade) my mom has always tried to do my homework. Her excuse to this is always “I’m just helping” or “we’re doing it together”, I actually never had any reason to not believe her until the 8th grade when my teacher could tell the work I passed in wasn’t my own, I would often hear little, rather immature comments from her such as “why your name on this, its your mothers work” or “what kind of grade should I give your mother”. Well I still got through the 8th grade and went on to high school. In this school for the first year it seemed my mother finally got it and backed off but about halfway through the year, I found out that my mother was doing it again, I didn’t have much(if any) common sense back then. So I foolishly allowed it, the next year one of my teachers caught on again, well this time instead of simply making fun of me they told me it was a form of cheating and as a result I failed the class for the semester. Well things pretty much went on unchanged and it got to the point where the principal was yelling at her, and basically said if she didn’t stop I wouldn’t graduate. well she didn’t stop but my teacher knew this and wound up basically with me after school doing homework to allow me to graduate. Fast-forward a year and she has finally stopped however she now keeps yelling at me incessantly to want to help me, her logic reason “its almost over and its a lot of work, I don’t want you to fail. Please let me help you” she doesn’t seem to get that I don’t need her help anymore, but whenever I try to tell her this she interrupts me again with the same speech. Please help me every time she does this (which is daily) it feels like I am getting punched in the chest, I can barley breath or see straight, making it very difficult to assert myself. I did graduate high school, and am in college now, and she hasn’t done it during college(thankfully), but I don’t want to have to deal with this anymore. Just so you know I don’t have a well paying enough job to live on my own at least not without quitting high school, and yes I have sat down with her and teachers, counselors, therapists, other family members(dad and sibling), even social workers who tried to remove me from the house to get her to stop and still nothing, she just took it as if we were just attacking her, even though we weren’t.
By the way I meant to put “Quitting college” not “Quitting high school”
Tricia I actually have done this but for some reason she just doesn’t listen to me about it, but I do think your right about the empty nest syndrome, it would certainly make sense.
Gears of war 3 I have tried that but she goes through my bag and my school email, so it doesn’t work so easily but thank you the advice. P.S. the part about my mom doubting my intelligence is dead on.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Logan
Sry i didnt read the description but my mom does the same thing. Say i dont want help. She will say fine, i wont help you, expecting you to ask. So then just dont ask

Answer by Tricia
gently remind her of your age, thank her for all she has done to help you to be successful and tell her you NEED to do it on yourown to learn and you wish to be independent and successful in life. she’ll understand. she’s probably suffering from empty nest syndrome, help her to find a new enjoyable project.

Answer by Ben
If you’re in college, move out. If not, tell her you are studying with a friend and do your homework elsewhere.

Answer by Luiyin Santana
tell her to back off

Answer by gears of war 3
your mom doesn’t think your smart enough to do your homework on your own, she probably feels you would fail every time without her. you need to show her you dont need help, do homework and projects by yourself and tell your mom you didn’t have homework until you finished then when you finish show her your good grade, maybe then she will trust you.

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