HomeChild Supporthow can my friend get out from under a child support “mess”?
Posted in Child Support on 14th December 2011

how can my friend get out from under a child support “mess”?
my friend’s license was suspended.
before he can get a new license he must pay $ 3000 to new jersey child support. he has been layed off from his job where he had a ride to work. he is a carpenter and lives from 30-60 miles from any potential job sites. so…..he can’t get a job without a license….he cant get a license without paying $ 3000……and he cant get $ 3000 without getting a job!
to add insult to injury? he is disabled….elligble for disability benefits. he wants to work while he still can , not collect these benefits at this time. he has a birth defect which has eroded knee and hip joints, thus causing pronounced limp, difficult mobility and severe pain.yet he works hard.
he is desperate to work. he has pleaded with his child support caseworker to take partial payments on the $ 3000. she has refused.
what are his options? the mother of his children has agreed to “drop the charges” or emancipate the children. this $ 3000 is part of a large arrear

Best answer(s):

Answer by kathy059
First of all he should have paid his child support as ordered. He wouldn’t be in this mess if he had.

Second, if the mother has said she doesn’t want the money, then I believe the court has to abide by her wishes. Something is fishy with this story.

Answer by seadog23185
He was healthy enough to do his part in having a child.
Your loser friend needs to man up and pay the child support. Maybe you could be a friend and loan him the cash or give him your car. Maybe he could get a job closer to home.

Answer by fajitacita
It sounds like he qualilfies for legal aid. They aren’t the best, but I’d give it a shot.

Answer by withluv7
He really needs to take the advice posted and get an traffic attorney. If the state suspended his license and his is in arrears with his child support, he has a good case to get driving priviledges to work and back, but extremly hard to get those priviledges without an attorney. Godd Luck!

Answer by BarB
Good for New Jersey. I live in this state and know how they deal with deadbeat dads… This man has obviously done everything he can to avoid his responsibility to his child/children. Before the state will take the harsh measures they have taken, he was given many opportunities to step up and be a man. He managed to weasel out. Now the state has taken action and he will pay, one way or the other.

You really have no place in this argument. But, if you are close to him, tell him that we, the taxpayers of New Jersey, are sick and tired of supporting the children of these deadbeats. And, unless he is a quadraplegic, deaf and mute, he can find a job and help support his kids. His next stop will probably be jail.

Answer by Phil #3
It is twisted logic. He can’t work till he pays what the state claims he owes (which is often as not an incorrect amount) and he can’t pay the claim unless he can work.

What many of those answering fail to understand is that it is not as cut-and-dried as they pretend it is. Many fathers are subjected to draconian methods of extracting up to 25% of their income for decades without even realizing that often this money is nothing more than tax-free income for the cusodial parent. It is often used for things other than the children and no one cares.

Truth is, fathers who are laid off, injured, become ill or are even terminated through no fault of their own are unemployed and immediately fall into arrears. Many states add interest to this arrearage, up to 21%, intensifying the problem and elongating the arrearage exponentially.

About the only thing he can do is borrow enough money to pay the state (which is near impossible without an income) or borrow from friends and neighbors in the hope he can make payments to repay them, the mother of his children and have enough left to support himself.

If the mother is agreeable, she can approach the state to remove her case from state oversight but the arrearage will most likely remain as the state demands to profit from this, or at the very least, recoup any money/benefits given to the mother in the name of the children.

For assistance, there are some wise people posting on the alt.child-support newsgroup. They can often help.
Good luck

EDIT** If the order is not garnished by the state (small chance, however, since almost all are now), Yvette’s advise is good. Have her notarize a statement that the arrearage has been paid, present it to the judge and ask that his driver’s license suspension be lifted.
If it is through the state (via DA, CSE or other), he will have to pay them as they want THEIR share of money, in cash and regardless if the every one concerned, father, mother and children have to live outdoors and starves to death.
If he claims disability, CSE and the other leeches will attach an amount from that. Part for child support, part toward the arrearage and he gets what’s left, if any.
Sad to say, unless a man has more money than needed, when he becomes involved with “family law”, his life will be at best, difficult and typically impossible until the children reach emancapation; age 18 to 23, depending on the state.

Answer by Yvette B yvetteb
yeah it sounds like he’s hurt’n, and wants to work dispite all of that. the problem is, the children still have needs, even if he does too.

if he collects disability, he can give some of it (some sort of help) for the kids. but going on that is a blow to the ego and more then likely makes him feel bad (as if he doesnt feel bad enough right now).

the worker wont give him back his license because they cant. that is a judges order and can not be changed or over ridden in anyway. its the law today.

also, courts today will not let a parent just sign away their rights, unless there is someone willing to adopt them (a new spouse for instance).

the ex could write a letter saying she recieved the $ 3000 in cash from him (he could say he borrowed it), therefor the arrears are paid up. have her notorize it also.

he can schedule a hearing about this letter and the arrears paid up in full, just by calling his caseworker and asking for the hearing.

then he can get his license back. your lucky if the ex agree’s to this, to give him a clean slate to work with.

if he need legal help, he can always go to the Legal Aid Office; they are in all states and most counties. they go on a sliding scale and are free to most. look in the phone book, call the county court clerks office or states Bar Assoc for the number.


Answer by thebillthatknows
i have a friend whom does not have to pay child support due to complete medical disability , go out on disability and get a lawyer, or apply for a hardship license even DUI offenders can get that after a year

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