HomeWorking MothersHow can I find out who my birth parents are?
Posted in Working Mothers on 9th May 2011

How can I find out who my birth parents are?
I found at, at age 32, that I was illegaly adopted. The people I called my parents had planned to take the secret to their graves. Since that time, my “parents” claim that they have no clue who my birth parents are.

According to my false parents, they picked me up from a “go-between” house, when I was only a few weeks old. They say that a doctor dropped me off at the house, the family there watched me for a few days, then handed me over to my false parents. There was no adoption paper work. A fake birth certificate was drawn up a couple of years later.

I asked my “mother” to find a member of the family that passed me off. She claims she found a lady who was just a young girl when all this happened. Supposedly, the woman knows nothing about what happened, but doesn’t want her family to know about the incident.

That’s it. I have nothing else to work with. How can I find my real parents? I have plenty of theories, but no solid leads. Help. Please.
I honestly don’t think I could afford a private investigator. I work for the Army, and don’t make much.

Best answer(s):

Answer by confused lover
i go for private investigators

Answer by Theresa
You’ve got two additional hurdles that most adoptees don’t have:

1.) You’re a late discovery adoptee, meaning the truth was withheld from you

2.) Your adoption appears to be either black market or grey market.

I am really, really sorry.

A private investigator should be the very last step. It’s not going to be easy for you, but if you take it step by step you may find some clues.

First off, I’d recommed the Late Discovery Adoptee website and mailing list. Their website is at


and their mailing list is located at

Finding out you were adopted late in life is a shock and a betrayal, and you need validation.

For grey and black market adoption issues, there are general sites at

But if you google the term “black market adoption” plus the state you were born in, you could find resources specific to your state. Also, I would suggest going to Yahoo groups and doing the same. There are general support groups for black market adoptions at


This group hasn’t been active for a while, but if you get a big cup of coffee and sit back, it looks like the archives have tons of information you may want to read through and search


There’s a large free eBook on searching that you can download from


Also, even though your amended birth certificate is false, you’ll want to have a copy of it, as well as the application as well. The fact that you are in the army may work in your favor, as well as that there is a delay between your date of birth and the time the application was filed. This site here


has state by state information on where to go to get a copy. I’m not advocating… dishonesty… but rather a little twisting of the truth. State you’re in the army and you need all the paperwork. There might be nothing in there, but there might be a clue as well.

There’s a lot here to go through. I’m sorry you have these two additional hurdles. Feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or run into a brick wall.

I’m really sorry.

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