HomeChild SupportEx’s,kids and child support…oh my!?
Posted in Child Support on 17th May 2012

Ex’s,kids and child support…oh my!?
So my ex (ex boyfriend not husband)and I have been broken up for 3 yrs now. We have a daughter who will be 5 on the 21st.
We arranged when we broke up that he would take her on weekends and he would pay $ 75/wk in child support. He gives me the cash everyweek and it had been working out fine.
In the 3 yrs he’s had ..maaaaybe 2 girlfriends. Each time he gets a g/f out daughter never sees him and I dont get child support. I’m not unreasonable…is he has an emergency situation
or something I’m not gonna bent out of shape about not getting child support as long as I do get it all eventually.
I haven’t gotten child support in 3 weeks and he hasn’t taken his daughter in 3 or 4 weeks. I think In the last 2 mths she’s gone to his twice. HE was the one who asked to have her EVERY weekend. I’ve tried to tell him every other is fine with me and he wont have it.

He recently got involved with a girl who has 3 kids. and doesn’t work. He tells me that he has all kinds of bills and he doesn’t have money for child support.
I’m not expecting that he should NEVER have a g/f or a life or a family. BUT I don’t see why this girl and her 3 kids outrank his own daughter.
I feel that I should bring the child support to court and have them take the money out of his check. then there would be no “I dont have money for child support”
But I would feel bad that it would come to that and I don’t wanna be a bytch. But the more I am ok with him being late and not having it…it seems like he does it more and more.
The money isn’t the most important part, but it is important. he’s putting a girl who he met on the internet and her 3 kids come before his own…

I am really unsure how to continue here..should I go to court and make everything official so he can’t do this anymore or should I just let him do what he’s gonna do and it’ll be his loss? I am married and have another child. It’s not as if my daughter is without a father figure or a family.

please don’t rant and rave if you don’t agree with my thinking. I’m open to suggestion but rudeness or insults will be reported.
I DID talk to him about it. several times
I’ve been nice and the $ 75 is LESS than the state would deduct. I’ve done the math . He would be giving me around $ 125
I’ve been nice and the $ 75 is LESS than the state would deduct. I’ve done the math . He would be giving me around $ 125

Best answer(s):

Answer by Lola
Give him a set time to get his issues straighten out,60 days, 90 days,and then if your mutual agreement is not being carried out, then its time to get the courts involved.
Good luck

Answer by naenae0011
I think you need to talk to him before you talk to a lawyer/courts. Let him know that you feel like he’s taking advantage of you, and that he’s neglecting his end of the parental bargain. Tell him that if he doesn’t start getting back on track with at least seeing her regularly, then you will have no choice but to go through the courts to ensure she is taken care of financially.

He can’t just come and go in her life based on what’s convenient for him. That’s not fair to her.

Answer by U_Dont_Know_Me
Well if you don’t want to be a b*tch then I suggest mentioning to him about the child support and warn him that if he keeps this up too much not paying you will take it to court and make it official. Let him know you don’t want to have to go that route, but you just feel that he is taking advantage of your niceness. Your child comes first before anybody elses. Even if he has another child with someone else the first child (in FL anyway) is always taken care of first. And then if he continues to not pay then yes take it to court. I have known many people to go through this same stuff with guys. It seems to be very common that guys do this especially when they get with another girl. Alot of girls are selfish and expect a man to take care of them and their kids not caring about the baggage that comes along with this guy they are wanting to take care of them.

Answer by Charm
It’s not for you to decide. The money is for your daughter. If you don’t need it, put it in an account for her for college or a car, or whatever, but do not let him shirk his responsibility for his child.

These loosey goosey arrangements never work out. Keep it in writing, give him receipts for cash, and take it to the courts.

Answer by Dante’s inferno aka Sloth
I think it depends what your daughter wants. I know she’s young but does she really want to see her biological father?

If I was in this situation.I wouldn’t spent any time thinking about having this guy around her. I’m assuming your husband is wonderful with her.
If you don’t need the money for child support, I wouldn’t bother going to court. But it would be nice to start a little savings for her with this money.

5 year olds are surprisingly wise, ask her if she wants to see her daddy?
if not, it’s his loss.
And if he can’t put his daughter first, she doesn’t need him

Hope that helps

Answer by uma
Take him to court and have a parenting plan readdressed. The child support should come out of his check (for your sake). This way you know you will get it. If he pays you with cash…….do you give him a receipt? and do you have a copy of all of those receipts you have given? He could always say I did pay her…..I don’t know what she’s talking about!

GOOD LUCK! and your daughter is entitled to this money, which really isn’t much to begin with.


Answer by Dr. TooFuckn Cool KIA GCG™
This is why you should get all “agreements” in writing and legally bound in a court of law. People change, situations change, and that’s why the courts are there for. time to take him to court.

Answer by Ashley
IF custody is not already established you need to go to the courthouse and file for full custody and request a custody hearing and a motion to review child support. You don’t need lawyers unless he is going to fight you for custody (which I highly doubt and he would probably lose anyway). Get child support established. your not being a bytch for doing that. My husband has a daughter and him and his daughters mother get a long GREAT. They really work together well for her but child custody and child support was still set through the courts. They did it without lawyers. This way it’s something set and IF he doesn’t pay YOU don’t have to deal with it and be getting upset and trying to ask him for the money time and time again. Someone does it for you.

Answer by Caitlyn L
Yes you should bring him to court to establish court ordered child support. He has responsibilities to his child, and if you have the court establish a ruling it will lessen any future arguments about money.

Answer by seven
talk to him again, but ultimately this is the man he is. sorry. keep everything documented. the only downside of court is then he will take your daughter on his visits and most likely bring them to this chick’s house. if you don’t need the money, let him go.

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