HomeChild CareDoes this make me a bad person :(?
Posted in Child Care on 29th December 2010

Does this make me a bad person :(?
My boyfriend got me pregnant at the start of march (knew this b/c was first day of my last period). Anyway, I had symptoms of pregnancy towards the end of march (such as sore boobs, urinating quite a lot and being sick) I was too scared to take a test though (i’m only 17, didn’t want to believe that I was pregnant even though deep down I knew I was). I carried on doing what I usually do which someone who is pregnant shouldn’t; drinking alcohol, smoking, eating fish and cheese etc. I got the shock of my life when in mid april I went to the toilet and in my pants was 2 massive clots, one was white and red with blood bubbles. I knew straight away that it was the baby. Am I a bad person for not “caring” about my child? Since it happened a lot of teens I know or live in my area have came out pregnant and I feel in a way that god is punishing me by putting me through the pain of knowing these teens will be having their babies around the same time I would be having mine, I feel bad 🙁
I got very drunk while drinking and did it about 3 times a week, I was about 6 weeks pregnant when I miscarried
It was heavy, I was bleeding for weeks and weeks after it happened

Best answer(s):

Answer by Mr Awesome
smoking and eating certain foods wont cause a miscarriage. Drinking is highly unlikly to cause one. Chances are it was going to happen anyway!

Answer by LisaN
God did not punish you. You had a miscarriage. At least it sounds like it. You really do need to see a doctor. If it was a miscarriage, you need to make sure all of it came out, and that takes a doctor. You could get a nasty infection otherwise. If you are only 17, you probably didn’t want to be pregnant, so why will you be in pain when other teens are struggling with babies and you aren’t? Actually, you should be grateful. Next time, use protection or BC, and use Plan B if needed. The alcohol, smoking, fish and cheese (fish and cheese?) didn’t cause the problem. But, please, for your health, get help. Tell your parents, if not that you think you miscarried, but that your passed a bunch of weird stuff. Then you can tell the doctor the whole story without your parents in the room. Don’t ignore it, you really can get infected if everything is not removed.

Answer by Nom nom
It doesn’t make you a “bad person.” It does make you irresponsible though. Next time use protection. Sorry for your loss. :\

Answer by Alexandra
well I really don´t know cause my cousin best friend have a best friend who complet her pregnancy and she smokes and drink but she give birth to stillborn babies 3 times and now she give birth a baby girl with lots of complication so no I dont think you are bad person just didn´t get the right help

Answer by Crystal
If you had a miscarriage there would have been alot of bleeding, a lil heavier than a period.

Answer by Emmaaa
I KNOW IT’S LONG BUT, PLEASE READ AND I HOPE IT HELPS.

Sweetie, i know exactly what your going through, i lost my baby in February when i was 13weeks pregnant, it’s a really horrible thing to go through. I was 6 weeks pregnant when i found out that i was pregnant, it was a big shock to me, i didn’t know what to think, i was scared and worried what my family and friends would think of me. In the 6weeks i was pregnant but didn’t know that i was, i was drinking all the time, a miscarriage isn’t caused by drinking or eating the wrong foods, it’s a normal cause because when the baby started first growing (like when it was conceived), the egg and the sperm rejected and that caused the baby not to develop properly, it’s nothing you did, so don’t think that, everyone takes pregnancy in different ways, there is worst things people have done when there pregnant, so don’t blame yourself darling, it’s not your fault. You can always have another baby in the future.

Good Luck & i’m really sorry for your loss!

Answer by אהבה
Honestly, if you didn’t take a pregnancy test, there’s really no way to know whether or not you were ever truly pregnant. It’s entirely possible that the blood clots in your underwear could have just been a delayed period. It’s normal for teens to skip their periods and get irregular periods, so it’s possible that the blood clots in your underwear were just from your period.

Even if you WERE pregnant, I doubt you miscarried because of smoking, drinking, and eating fish. Lots of women do those things early in the pregnancy, before they realize that they are pregnant, and their babies turn out fine. Chances are, you would’ve miscarried even if you “cared” about the baby. More than 50% of all first pregnancies end in miscarriage.

I don’t think you’re a bad person; however, if you’re not currently trying to get pregnant, then why not get on birth control? Birth control is a safe and effective way to prevent an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy from occurring. If you’re going to have sex, that’s fine, but at least be responsible and use protection! Believe me, it’s always better to be safe than sorry! If you don’t get on birth control or start using some form of protection soon, then you WILL end up pregnant again sooner or later, mark my words. Please, be responsible and get on birth control as soon as possible.

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