HomeChild SupportDoes (or should) child support payments cover all activities for the child?
Posted in Child Support on 14th November 2011

Does (or should) child support payments cover all activities for the child?
OK, I know some will say “ask your attorney”. I just want to know what the general public thinks, & help me come up with a good response to “that’s what I pay child support for”. Is he right?

First, I want to say that my daughters father (my ex-husband) does pay his child support almost regularly. I’m greatful for that. My complaint is this: everytime I ask him to help with anything his answer is always NO, & his reason is always “that’s what I pay child support for”. When she wanted to play soccer, when she joined the band, when she cheered, he refused to cover any expenses. If she asks him to give her money for ANYTHING (some shirt she wants, when she’s going shopping, anything at all) his reply to her is “no, ask your mother to give you money, that’s why I pay child support”. In the 10 years we’ve been divorced he’s NEVER given any money or helped pay for anything above & beyond paying child support…which is set according to KY standard.
*I already know that legaly he isn’t obligated to pay anything more. I just think it would be nice (for his daughter) if he would buy her something sometimes. Or let her know he cares enough to give her something he doesn’t HAVE to give her. He buys Christmas presents for his step-children, but only 2 or 3 times of the past 10 years for his daughter (because he pays “child support” for that). No birthday presents, nothing (even though he does for his step-children). Now…I know those things aren’t mandatory. But, again, it would be nice if our daughter could feel that he WANTED to give her things.
* to the person who automatically assumes I don’t have a paid job: I work full time thank you very much. My child has way more than she needs, & I do without because I prefer that she has things that I never did. Please don’t assume that I’m a dead beat mom who’s expecting to live off someone else…you don’t even know me.
We both work full time. He pays $ 6,000 a year plus insurance, & he’s supposed to pay 70% of all medical & dental bills not covered by insurance. He does pay the $ 6,000, but he has not paid any medical or dental. His income is more than double mine. I make decent money & could survive even without his child support – it would just mean she would have to survive with less ‘pleasures’ (cell phone, internet, etc.). It’s not an issue of me NEEDING more money. My gripe is about him making his daughter feel that she’s nothing more than a financial burden to him, & that she isn’t worth anything more that what the court says he has to pay. She’s heard “your mom should give you the money, that’s what child support is for” so many times that she’s stopped asking him for anything. Maybe that shouldn’t bother me, but it does.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Rebecca W
He’s right – that’s what he pays child support for. You have no right to expect anything over that amount and it’s up to you to spend it wisely.

Answer by Tiare
he is correct, that is what child support is for. It is not nice, but it is perfectly legal and he is within his rights. there are only a few things not covered by child support: MANDATORY school expenses (not sports), child care, unreimbursed medical expenses.

Answer by True Diva
Technically, he is only obligated to pay you child support unless your divorce papers stated otherwise.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. It would be nice for him to offer a little additional assistance since the child support you receive probably doesn’t put a dent in your child’s overall expenses. You may want to also check with your State’s Attorney General. I live in Texas and am able to get my child support case reviewed (for free) every 3 years. You may be eligible for an increase.

I hope this helps.

Answer by Cecillia
Sorry, but he does have a point. You can put anything against him in a court of law and win, but don’t start something if it doesn’t need to be put to attention:

Here’s a tip: Be as civil with your ex-husband as possible, without being unfair to yourself, for the sake of your child.

Answer by Tapioca
No child support covers room, food and clothes. Look over your divorce decree where support is mentioned. It may say 50% of education, insurance, etc. If it does, you can file an enforcement order for that. Just save all receipts and canceled checks. This is why he is your ex-husband. He is a petty selfish turd. Your daughter will know. but please don’t bash your ex. Half of her make up is him, and it would be terrible to hear that 50% of who you are is not too great.

Answer by cruisepuppy7452a
Ok, if you need more money, have proof of need to cover medical or other like expenses, you need to file a modification, go back to court, see if the judge will grant it. Unless its something like your kid is special needs, is under a doctors care for a medical condition, needs medications uncovered by your insurance for her? Don’t count on it Mom. If you have sole custody, you are required to pay for things he misses. Child support is for the child, not the parent. You can buy food, clothes, school stuff, ect, with it, but anything extrordinary like a designer outfit, ect, sorry, that is all on you. You should have something in your decree that says he has to pay half of all medical, dental, educational expenses. But anything else, sorry. Not my rules, its how it works against we parents.

Answer by lesley w
what do you expect from him,,,, he pays support,, he has to live too.. maybe you should look at getting a paid job too

Answer by honey
You don’t have to be grateful for something he is obligated to provide by law and by the obligation to his child. A child support should include half of the child’s living expenses. This includes virtually everything; food, clothes, and the roof above the child’s head. Your ex is being an a*s*s*hole.

By the way, you can always modify your child support amount every year.

Answer by Von36
You have a right to take him to court every two years and have your child support modified. I asked for half of school clothes,a yr. extra cirricular activities with school and with out and medical co pays. I didnt think I was gonna get it but if you dont ask you cant receive.
If his income gets increased, so does your childrens. If it decreased he can also take you back to court and lower it. That happened to me also. I know exactly what your going through. Good luck

Answer by CindyLu
If he is making the payments that the court decreed then he has fulfilled his court ordered responsibility. It would be nice if he had some concern for his child and tried to help her out but if that is his attitude there is little you can do about it aside from getting a lawyer and trying to get the child support increased. If the man is a cheap **** louse, there is not much you can do about it.

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