HomeChild CareDo I really have a child I don’t know about?
Posted in Child Care on 18th December 2010

Do I really have a child I don’t know about?
I’m in a custody battle with the mother of my daughter and out of no where she said “You have another kid you don’t take care” and said her lawyer would tear me to pieces. I have never been confronted by anyone that I have another child, I have married for over 10 years to my wife. I have lived in the same small town my entire life and have never heard this before. When I tried to ask where she heard this from she said my own nephew! So I asked my nephew and he replied she was trying to tell him that I had another child somewhere. I pay child support and actually took her to court so I could pay support and have visitation. What are the chances I have a kid I don’t know about? What mother would not seek child support if she knew the father? I don’t know if this is just her way of trying stop me from taking her to court or if I might really have a child out there. I’m a very well known and liked member of the community and my family owns several businesses in town so I doubt a mother would be ashamed of acknowledging me as her child’s father. I want to take care of all of my children and it makes me sick to think I have a child that may believe I don’t want to be involved. If she is just making this up what would she benefit from such a lie?
I did have alot one night stands about 15-20 years ago during a wild stage but I’ve been in long term relationships ever since. I would try to contact the one night stands but that was way to long ago for me to remember and I never really asked for last names. And no I have not cheated on my wife.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Rhet
It sounds like she is trying to scare you so you don’t take her to court because she is afraid you will win.

Answer by naIlah- I AM A MINOR
she’s just doing it to take pride from your discomfort. just in case, you should get a statement from your nephew and pin that against her in court. you may also be able to get more visitation from her outburst.

Answer by James Watkin
You know where you have dipped your dipstick. So you tell us what the chance are. We do not know who you have had sex with before or during your marriage. Nor do we no if you and whoever used protection, you did and whoever didn’t, you didn’t and whoever did or you both didn’t. Nor do we know if any forms of protection used with whoever you diddled in your life failed.

There are lots of reasons a mother would not seek out support. Too many to list but I will list a few:

She was married and slept with you but decided to let the husband think it is his.
She decided before she did the deed she wanted a child but not you.
She decided after she found out that she didn’t want you around.
She doesn’t need a man to pay her way in life or her child’s way. Nor does she want one.

The bigger issue is why are you so worried? Did you live a lifestyle prior (or during marriage) that involved a lot of one night stands or short term relationships? In other words were you messy?

You could always make a list of all the women you had sex with and contact them and ask them. Or you could just live your life and let the chips fall where they may.

If it is a lie, how does she benefit? Well, you are all ate up over it and stressed out. People who are stressed out are more likely to make bad decisions and lose sleep and also to become ill. Long term stress is bad on a person- body, mind and soul. And that may be what she wants.

She may be lying, she may be truthful and she may also be telling the truth as she believes it to be (repeating what someone really did tell her). People who talk chit (esp. relatives) rarely admit to it. So your nephew could be lying too. Time will tell.

Answer by Justyn Thomas
She’s an asshole

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