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Working Mothers - Baby-sitting & Childcare

What would be your reaction? ?

Posted in Working Mothers on 9th March 2014

What would be your reaction? ?
You are a part-time stepparent to 2 stepkids that have very few rules and almost no discipline. Their mom is going on a 9 day vacation and leaving them with you. You don’t live in the same town. They do not eat the same things. Their dad will be involved but works very long hours. You have 3 cats and a dog to look after. You work full-time. You had 0 say in this. How would you feel?
They are in school and have activities.
Their mom is an unfit mother. She is immature and selfish. I think she’s a narcissist. She doesn’t think of her kids. She was going to send them to 4 different houses for those 9 days.
My husband is coming down very hard on me for feeling a bit slighted in all of this. He thinks I should be all smiles and just do it. It’s very hard for me. Am I wrong to feel this way?
I know my obligations. But what about their mother? What about her? Where is her responsibility? We took the kids on vacation for a week. This is her 2nd vacation this year without the kids.
The weekends are fine. It’s the running around during the week with everything. I work full-time. My husband does too. It just seems really unfair.
I’m not unreasonable. I want bedtimes. I want one meal as opposed to 3 different meals each night. I’ll give in for one alternative. Thank you. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. My husband was yelling at me over my reaction.
14 girl and 10 boy. The girl will have lots of homework. The boy not so much. He watches tv from the time he comes in to the time he leaves. That has to stop or I will go insane. He watches cartoons. My husband will be around to help but it will be mostly me.
I am angry towards their mother. I want to smack her, not really. She gets drunks and tells them because it’s funny to her. She’s 37.
I should tell you that I am nice and do what I can for these kids. I know I married them too essentially. It’s just the injustice of it all. My husband lets them rule the house. That’s how I feel. I don’t know what to do. I want to escape since I’m supposed to just go along with it. I want some rules. I don’t want to have them be so disruptive. You know how hard that is? After working and have to walk on egg shells? I guess I need to schedule some alone time. Is that ok?
I’m ready to cry from the stress. We have pets. I have errands to run during the week and on the weekend. I play my keyboard as a stress reliever. Maybe I’m worrying too much. At our wedding, a long time friend of my parents spoke to me because she didn’t like how much power the kids had. She was very concerned for me because she knows that I’m sweet and nice. I was being accommodating. She thought I was going too far, that I needed to stand up for myself. I’m trying to do that but I want to be fair. I know these kids are victims too.
I’ve bonded with my stepson. It’s harder with my stepdaughter. She’s just like her mother. Carbon copy. Very selfish and stubborn. Her way or she throws a major temper tantrum. It should be ok since she will be pretty busy.
I’ll do my best. I think if it were only 7 days and not 9-10 days, I might feel less stressed. It just seems beyond what should be acceptable. She is lousy.
I’ll try to involve my stepson but he’ll busy with his hamster that is coming too. She wanted to give us another cat too. My husband said no. They have a dog too. We have my stepson’s friends staying with us too for a day/night/morning.
I fully support having the children come live with us. I get a say. It’s my life too. I must be doing something wrong. I’m not telling it like it is. I’m p’od with their mom. She never takes any responsibility. She hands it off to someone else because she’s lazy.
I am trying to sort things out. I guess maybe I feel left out? I try to stay in but I’m doing the work around the house. Laundry, cleaning, taking care of pets, shopping for stuff we need, etc. I’m doing the work. I’m exhausted.
I almost wish there was someone that could see what was going on and give my perspective in better words. I just know that I’m not wrong here.
They will help out but not always. If I leave it to them, they won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it after they have gone or having to run out. I don’t ask for much. Just some help so the burden isn’t on me completely. I feel like they take advantage of my good nature. Maybe that is it?
I want the kids to come live with us. Their mom is an unfit mom. My husband knows this.
The kids won’t though because they won’t be able to get away with bloody murder. They will hear the word no now and again. There will be rules. It won’t be unfair. But it will be not what they are used to.
I guess the answer is that I need to suck it up and count down when it’s getting me down. I tried to get my husband to commit to some kind of planning. He wouldn’t do it. The kids are in charge. Oh joy! He can do the shopping and running around when we don’t have what they want.
I’m married. I didn’t know it would be like this. We pay almost $ 1000 a month in child support. It’s a lot. I see so much of it squandered because there is so much that the kids do not have. Mom has it all. I’m just crying for some responsibility from responsible parents. They had these kids. It’s kind of too late for them to not want to deal with them, don’t you think? I’m on board. I’m stressing. I like having a game plan. I know it can change but at least we have something to work from. At the very least, BLD, Snacks, Laundry, Showers, Time to get up, Time to go to bed, etc.
Homework time, tv time? Right now, it’s anything goes and it’s exhausting. We have them Wed nights for a few hours. It’s like a circus. Tv on and off constantly. 3 different dinners. My sd half finished with her dinner wants more. She finishes and then changes her mind. Never mind. I’m full now. She’s an idiot when it comes to stuff like that. I say, why don’t you finish before you say you want more? You usually don’t want more. I feel like a servant in my own home.
I guess I should just let my husband deal with it since he doesn’t want to plan or discuss? I’m not a mind reader. The solution is let my husband deal with it and I’ll be a supporting player. I said so much last night to him.
I don’t nag my husband. I just watch things not get done and then he gets upset. I’m like, well, you didn’t do it. If you want it done then you need to do it. He wants to tie me to the chair because I’m always doing something. Yeah, I’m not lazy.
I do 90% which is all I can handle. Ok? I can’t do everything. I can’t. I don’t have that kind of time. I barely sit now.
I should not have do 90%. I’m holding my ground. He needs to step up to the plate and I’m going to tell him so tonight. He agreed to this insanity so he’s going to help out more. If he’s monopolizing the washer/dryer then he’s doing our laundry too. I don’t want to hear him complain because I fold it and put it away.
Thank you Chottwo. I’ll stay strong. That’s good that you have your husband’s support. Maybe that’s an issue for me. My husband supports the kids at my expense. He’s making up for their mother or trying to. It’s not normal when they are there. There is so much that we would normally do but can’t do because they are there. It all adds up. He sides with the kids. It’s like I’m on my own. That is a problem. It shouldn’t have to be a them vs. me. It should be us. That’s what I want. US. not as it is, them vs. me.
Thank you. I think I have finally gotten to the bottom of it. My problem is that it needs to be us and not them vs. me. That’s how I feel. I need to feel that I have my husband’s support.
I’m going to make a bold statement. If he can’t give me more support then I will be prepared to walk away. I’m a good woman that deserves to have a husband that supports me too.

Best answer(s):

Answer by munkyluvr732108

Answer by Robyn K
you definately should have had a say in it

you married the man knowing he had children and that you would become a stepmother.

Answer by N5
Hm, sounds like a scene from cinderella. Except everything is backwards.

Answer by Lisa
I wouldn’t be happy, but in marrying their dad, you are taking responsibility for his kids when he can’t be there.

Answer by Daemian B
That’s why I avoid getting involved with single mothers.

Answer by kwazywabbott
Why are you involved even “part-time” with this idiot! Find yourself someone worthwhile. In the meantime, move out while the useless little buggers are in school and change your cell number. Screw ’em.

Answer by weekam94
well what to do is on weekends go out to parks with them and try to bond with them they will calm down

Answer by omarjafet
Extremely overwhelmed, I wish you the best.

Answer by Michael
w0w…thats crazy how the mother doesnt care!

Parents: Do you ever refer to your significant other to your child in the second person?

Posted in Working Mothers on 8th March 2014

Parents: Do you ever refer to your significant other to your child in the second person?
For example when talking to your kid you start with “You’re mother” and then finish with (for example) “is sick”.

Best answer(s):

Answer by xtina
Yeah I do.

I often say “daddy is at work” or whatever the sentence may be.

We also (both ways) often refer to our possessions that way. Such as “go for a drive in mums car” or “ta dads phone please”

My children are 28months and 10months if that matters.

Answer by kim h
Yes. Every once in a while I will call him by his name too.

Answer by Kacey Letterman
Yes, I feel like if I say dad, the kids will get confused and ask “who’s dad”? They’re learning the family members and grandpa is moms dad and grandma is moms mom. It’s more direct when you say YOUR mother is…

Answer by Alycia West
Isn’t that just how people talk? I don’t always say he or she, I’ll say ‘daddy’s coming home soon’ ‘we’re going to see grandma’ ‘stop hitting callie’

the bible said to honor thy father and thy mother, but why did Jesus address his mother only as “woman”?

Posted in Working Mothers on 7th March 2014

the bible said to honor thy father and thy mother, but why did Jesus address his mother only as “woman”?
instead of “mother” when he was talking to her, both at the wedding at Cana and at the cross?
pink, are you saying that your own mother is only just a woman, too, that don’t deserve your respect or anyone else’s?
don’t = doesn’t

Best answer(s):

Answer by ludamad
Remember, the bible is heavily translated. You have no idea of the initial connotation.

Answer by pinkstealth
To connect the dots, she IS only a woman. Unfortunately the Catholics have made sooo much more of her.

He did take care of His mother (as seen at the cross) but He also made it known in a profound way that she WAS human. He was not. She is NOT the mother of God, in any way. She was blessed of all women to be be selected for the Savior’s birth. But God is still God. And SHE is NOT His mother !


Answer by Kenzie
It was a sign of respect. Mary wasn’t just his Mother, but was a great woman. But, it was a sign of respect.

Answer by pedersen5
Mark Lowry said it best, if you’re going to call your mother “woman”, you BETTER be God!

Answer by Mephisto
Do as your told, not as you see.
That is the Christian way.

Answer by patrone07
First off, Jesus never sinned and obeyed the 10 commandments the most perfect way.

Jesus (The New Adam) refers to his beloved mother as “woman”, becuase he is referring to her as the New Eve! The Blessed Virgin Mary is the “woman” prophecized in Genesis 3:15 that would crush the head of the serpent! God bless!

Answer by Joe Bloe
Before the gospels were written, Churches tried to gain esteem by declaring a close association with members of Jesus’ family.

The gospel writers overcame the problem by suggesting that such family associations were nothing special – and that even Jesus was not overly impressed by them.

Answer by peter c
God said “women” at the Wedding of Cana, and He said “woman” while dying on the cross. The beginning and the end of his of His earthly ministry.

God said “woman” in Genesis 3:15, and He said “woman” in Rev. 12: >> The only two places in scripture where you have a woman and a serpent in the same verse. Genesis and Revelation, the beginning and the end of the Bible.

“Woman” is a two fold title. Culturally, it was an honorary term at that time, not a derogatory one as in 21st white Anglo-Saxon American culture.

There are other biblical references that uses “woman” as they refer to Mary.

Rev 12:15 The serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the **woman**, to sweep her away with the flood. 16 But the earth came to the help of the **woman**, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed the river which the dragon had poured from his mouth.
17 Then the dragon was angry with the **woman**, and went off to make war ON THE REST OF HER OFFSPRING, on those who keep the commandments of God and bear testimony to Jesus. And he stood on the sand of the sea..

Who could these OFFSPRING be? Ever commentator worth his salt will tell you that these offspring are the Church. How did the Blessed Virgin Mom become the Mother of the Church?

John 19:26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, **Woman**, behold thy son! 27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.

The experiences of the “Beloved Disciple” (BD) were the focus of John’s Gospel. He is an ‘everyman’ character. St. John’s Gospel is told in such a way that the reader can identify himself with the BD and is meant to see the story of Jesus from the BD’s perspective. Whatever is addressed to the BD is addressed to the reader.

So we have established that:
1) Mary is the Mother of Jesus
2) Whose children are the Church that keeps the commandments AND honors her Son
3) Who himself explicitly designated her as the Mother of his disciples.

Answer by squirt AM VA VT
lol Pink. Go read your bible. Something’s showing and it might embarrass you.

Answer by Bill
the expression “what have I to do with you?” This is apparently a common Jewish idiom that appears a number of times in the Bible. For example, at 2 Samuel 16:10, we find David stopping Abishai from killing Shimei by saying: “What do I have to do with you men, you sons of Zeruiah? Thus let him call down evil, because Jehovah himself has said to him, ‘Call down evil upon David!’” Likewise, we read at 1 Kings 17:18 that the widow of Zarephath, upon finding that her son had died, said to Elijah: “What do I have to do with you, O man of the true God? You have come to me to bring my error to mind and to put my son to death.”

From these Bible examples, we can see that the expression “what have I to do with you?” is often used, not to show disdain or arrogance, but to refuse involvement in some proposed or suggested action or to express a difference in viewpoint or opinion.

Jesus’ reply, “What have I to do with you, woman?” is an ancient form of question that indicates an objection to what is suggested or proposed. Why does Jesus object to Mary’s words? Well, he is now 30 years of age. Just a few weeks earlier, he was baptized, anointed with holy spirit, and introduced by John the Baptizer as “the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world.” Now his direction must necessarily come from the Supreme Authority who sent him. (1 Corinthians 11:3) No one, not even a close family member, could be allowed to interfere with the work Jesus came to earth to do. What determination to do his Father’s will is expressed in Jesus’ answer to Mary!

Regarding the term “woman,” Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words notes: “Used in addressing a woman, it is a term not of reproof or severity, but of endearment or respect.” Other sources agree with this. For example, The Anchor Bible says: “This is not a rebuke, nor an impolite term, nor an indication of a lack of affection. It was Jesus’ normal, polite way of addressing women.” The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology explains that the word “is used as an address with no irreverent secondary meaning.” And Gerhard Kittel’s Theological Dictionary of the New Testament says that such usage “is in no way disrespectful or derogatory.” Thus, we should not conclude that Jesus was being rude or unkind to his mother in addressing her by the term “woman.”

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