HomeWorking MothersCan’t deal with my bipolar mother anymore!?
Posted in Working Mothers on 3rd September 2012

Can’t deal with my bipolar mother anymore!?
Okay, sorry if this is so long!

My mom basically walked out and left me when I was about 9/10. She would lie to me and say my dad had a restraining order or she was in hospital and couldn’t see me, and often disappeared for months on end without talking to me. The worst was when she got arrested for beating my dads girlfriend in front of me. I have flashbacks of my mom throwing all sorts at my dad (chairs, phones, ect) and my dad never did anything back. She would call me up and tell me she was about to commit suicide and emotionally and mentally abused me. I figured she was bipolar as she’d suffered post-natal depression when I was a baby, as her mother died of cancer while she was pregnant. I’m now seventeen and things are better, but not good. I see her on weekends (though she has a ‘weekend off’, which i find ridiculous). I just want to know what to do. She’s constantly calling me ugly and saying how she has a better love/social life and will openly tell me about her sex life. She is intrusive (at one point she went to my work and quizzed a co-worker about my relationship with a boy). Whenever we get into an argument she says “you’re never gonna see me again” or “you’re saying i’m a bad mother” or “you’ll all know when I run away/ kill myself / arent here anymore”. There was one occasion she asked me to work and when I said I couldn’t as I was seeing friends, she screamed that I was selfish and immature. I’ve been looking for work for about three months and she always says “if I was with you, you’d get a job anywhere straight away” just belittling my work. She also said she thinks i’m lying about applying for jobs. I work voluntarily at a museum and she heard me tell my bos im working all week and then proceeded to say its not real work and why can’t i just cancel to hang around at her work all day. When I said i’d come to her work in the morning, she said im selfish and think the world revolves around me. She always wants to know what im doing and intrudes on my life and seems to thrive off attention. She’s always pretending to be sick or ill to get attention from anyone, and when i don’t give her it, she gets angry and threatans to never see me again. Sometimes i just sit and cry because I know a mother shouldn’t treat her daughter like this. I’m seventeen looking for a job, I do voluntary work, I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs, I spend almost every weekend at home, barely have a social life and I try so hard to do well in school and she just seems discontent and only really pays attention when something bad happens. I hate this and I need help!

Best answer(s):

Answer by jess
Stay far far away from her.Go with your Dad or yourself.

Answer by Carol
Your not helping your mother by caving into her demands, your actually making it worst.

Believe me she is like gum on your she she will never leave you again, your not a child (she probably doesn’t like children because she WANTS ALL the attention. But she has to learn that life is not like that, and you have to be the strong one because she is mentally imbalanced and incapable of right thinking, so you have to force it on her by not caving, so she Will learn the world does not evolve around her. That is IF you EVER want your on life.

Smile when your about to tell her something you know she won’t like (don’t be angry or smirk.) Talk to her like a child, for example “Well Mom I love you but….I’m working toward my Future, and this may not be anything to you but its something I enjoy, and will continue to do. Your a grown woman I can”t babysit you all the time. I need my own life and you do too, I know ir’s scary but there is a whole world out there that we both need to find our niche in. And each of our niche is going to be different, so lets both be brave and seek them.”

Of course you different ways and your own words but this is the over all message you will need to keep repeating in various ways till she finally gets it…and until you do too. Enjoy YOUR life, she had a chance to enjoy hers and doing less it keeping you both from finding your own paths.

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