HomeWorking MothersAm I selfish for wanting to return back to work after having a baby?
Posted in Working Mothers on 21st January 2011

Am I selfish for wanting to return back to work after having a baby?
Due to a very rough pregnancy I had to take a whole nine months off from work. Thankfully my job held my position for me and I am scheduled to return back to work in a few weeks, when my daughter turns 12 weeks. My fiancee doesn’t want me to go back he says “She’s to young and she needs her mother” and that I’m selfish. I just have a hard time letting him be financially responsible for my expenses. Also giving up my benefits (health, dental etc…) What should I do?

Best answer(s):

Answer by 98ta
No way you probalby loved you job and need a break everyone does

Answer by bronzebabekentucky
Most women return to work… tell HIM to stop working and care for the baby… it isnt “selfish” its Normal…

Answer by SWEETVET
You have to do what is going to make you happy. No need to stay at home with the baby and be miserable if work is where you want to be.

Answer by Becky
If you want to go back to work,do it. Don’t let him guilt you. Some women don’t like staying home. Its nothing to feel guilty about.

Answer by Di
If you have a good nanny and not just some day care center i say go back to work your fiancee does not seem to want to stay home and she needs her daddy too.

Answer by ally’smom
Do what feels right to you. If he’s so worried tell him to stay cooped up all day with the baby he helped make. The kid needs a daddy to why can’t he stay home?

Answer by Rowan
i would tell him if he wants you to be good mother, you have to have something for yourself. although you could maybe compromise and maybe start back part time.

Answer by kisme86
Do what you think is best for your family! It is not selfish to want to contribute your income and have your own benefits! Many mothers return to work and lead independent lives but still love their familiy! It’s up to you whether you want to return to work. Maybe you should just talk it out with your mate and just explain that you really want to go back to work and that it’ll be good for the family…

Just because you’re not there every second for your daughter, doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother. You just want some independence and that’s a good thing!

Answer by hounchella
You know what, millions of woman go back to work after having children and I don’t think it is bad that you want to. If you really want to work then you should, you can give your new baby all the love she needs no matter what. They have always said “quality not quantity” is what counts.

Answer by dlmrgnk
No you are not selfish. Look, a child will be a whole lot better off with a mother who is productive, content, and confident than a stay at home who wishes she wasn’t there. Your fiancee may think the kid doesn’t know. Believe you me, the kid will know big time right away without any question whether mother is satisfied with her life or dissatisfied.

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