HomeWorking MothersAdvice on how to get over my past roommate situation, so it wont ruin my current one?
Posted in Working Mothers on 20th December 2011

Advice on how to get over my past roommate situation, so it wont ruin my current one?
Okay, so here’s the whole story.
A few months ago, my best friend of about 7 years was stressed about her living situation (her mothers restrictions. We were 19) I offered her to move in with me at my mothers (My mom was flexible and I had the big master bedroom). My mom said as long as she paid 200 bucks a month it was fine. I currently paid 300-400(Depending on if she needed more) a month.
Suddenly my best friend got fired but I tried to be a good friend and I assured her that I could cover her 200 (I have a full time job) and she wouldn’t have to worry about it. She said she would feel bad about it but I finally convinced her (she seemed to be always stressed and I wanted to help) and she agreed to give me a ride to work and back.
A month or two later I realized that I was paying about 600 a month and my mom did have some restrictions (The no boys rule. Which sucked because my friends were 90% boys) so I talked to my best friend about moving out.
We found the perfect one bedroom for about 650 a month, I told her it was a little much but she agreed to pay 100 a month and I agreed to pay the rest as long as she took me to work and if she could help whenever she could.
Our living situation worked out well until the bills started to come, I would ask her how much money she would be willing to put in (just so I could get an estimate of how much I had to find to complete) and she would snap at me. That seemed to be the only time there was tension. On good months she’d pay 150 at the most and I’d pay the rest of the 600 (the rent would be 700 because Id have to pay late, my payday would land on the 5th and rent was due the 1st.)
and I would cover electricity and whatever was left would go to some food and my phone.
As time went by she would put in less, saying she had to put in late car payments (She would get about 400 a month for unemployment. Her car was 206 a month)
So I would have to put in more for rent and less for food. Some days we would go without food and our fridge would be empty.
There started to be this tension, with her. I was always cheery and positive and even more so around her because she was always moody and depressing. I let her know I was there for her, and she would just say thanks but never talk to me. The nicer I was to her, the ruder she would be. Sometimes giving me attitude for no reason.
It got to be exhausting because I was trying to put in enough positivity for the both of us. I hated coming home because the mood was horrible.
One day she texted me after dropping me off from work telling me she was moving out. She said she would give me 100 a month for 3 months-enough time to find someone else. She said “And Im doing that to be nice because I don’t owe you anything were even.”
When I asked how she said “Do you think I pull gas money out of my ass to take you to work, and what about the food I have to bring from my mothers?”
I wanted to tell her that we weren’t even because I’d been supporting her for months and all she had to do was take me to work, and I had been giving her gas money until she started giving me less money for bills.
Slowly she moved her things out (Everything. Because she said we shouldn’t move any of my things because she had some stuff, when we moved) She took everything from the coffee maker, microwave, dish rags, utencils, dishes..etc. One day when she came to take the last of her things I walked into the kitchen and asked her for the mail key (We only have one) and she refused to give it to me, saying she had some mail she was waiting for and was still on the lease so she didnt have to give me anything.
I got a little mad because I was expecting my debit card and utility bill, so I told her there was no reason for her to have it and we got into an argument that resulted in her saying she’d give it to me on Friday. (It was Wednesday) Friday came and to this day (That was almost 3 weeks ago) she still hasn’t given it to me.
2 weeks ago, I had the mail lock changed, therefor getting a new key 🙂
I got a new roommate to move in (my other best friend of 12 years) and things are great. He’s got my sense of humor and personality and he was also close friends with my last best friend when everything happened and he knows how it hurt me.
The only thing wrong is I find myself pushing him away, always bringing up something my last roommate would do. I freak that whenever there’s a misunderstanding he’s just gonna pack his things. I freak that our friendship will be ruined too at some point and I know I’m just making things bad myself, on purpose for some reason.
How can I get over that whole thing?
I thought I was until I recently got bills that my last rommmate said she was paying and turns out she wasn’t (over 1000$ in late fees).
Has anyone had this happen?

Best answer(s):

Answer by Ghost
Do not worry that this will be a repeat situation. Be optimistic about it. Until something bad happens, do not worry yourself over what ifs.

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