HomeChild CareA child in my class has started lying and telling other children I’m her Mother. How can i make her stop?
Posted in Child Care on 12th January 2011

A child in my class has started lying and telling other children I’m her Mother. How can i make her stop?
There’s a little girl in my class who has the same last name as me, except mine has a “Mc” in front of it. I think the fact that her Mom is single parent with SIX children and the girl doesn’t really look like anyone in her family (different father) is why she does it. A few times a week she begs to go home with me.

I tried being nice and telling her to stop because it’d hurt her Moms feelings but she’s like, “My Mommy has six kids, she doesn’t care.”

Then I tried telling her if she does it again she’d lose her recess. She doesn’t care. She was just like, “Okay Mommy.”

Do I have to call home? I guess I’m afraid to because I fear her Mom is going to get mad at ME, like, “Why does my kid like you better”
She’s seven years old. I teach second grade

Best answer(s):

Answer by Danielle R
ooo that’s a tough one. i think you’re going to have to insist that the child call you mrs. whatever. tell her, “i like you very much, and i am your teacher, it is important that you call me mrs. ____ because that is my name. please save the name “mommy” for your mommy at home. thank you.” if it continues you might have to call home and simply say, “your daughter refuses to address me as mrs. ___ and instead she is calling me “mommy” and i see this as very inappropriate behavior, perhaps she is doing it for the attention, but it cannot continue and i’d like your help in correcting this situation before it gets any more out of hand.” be firm with the child and the parents. they will both respect you more for seeing that it is inappropriate and taking action.

Answer by Nusi
Hi, may be you should first just call her mother and become friends with her to know the reality. It is possible that she may be lying to you also. If the situation the child describes is correct, may be you can judge it and go ahead with letting her mother know all about it.

Answer by keshequa87
Talk to her about how it’s fun to make-believe. Discuss the difference between reality and fiction. Explain that even if she were your daughter, she’d still have to call you ‘Ms. So and So’ at school. Talk to her about how all families are different, hers is unique and she is loved by them. Speak to your peers and student social worker about how you might handle this. Frankly, it saddens me that a second grade teacher would need this kind of advice. I’m glad you’re asking. Good luck.

Answer by missbeans
This child is crying out for help here. She feels lost in this large family, and doesn’t feel like her mother gives her enough of her attention. Talk to her about her mom and why she thinks her mom doesn’t care about her. Get her to open up to you, and convince her to let the 3 of you sit down and discuss this. I’m sure her mother won’t be angry with you, she probably doesn’t even know there is a problem.

Punishing her for this behavior won’t work. She is seeking attention, and even negative attention is attention.

Answer by Torrejon
Actually, I can’t figure out why you haven’t brought this to your administrator’s attention!? Why would you threaten a second grader with missing recess for this?!

Think about this: #1 A child wants to go home with you (the teacher) instead of going to her real home and #2 implies a certain level of neglect (mom “doesn’t care”). These are not the things that 2nd graders usually say and/or do.

Are you really a teacher? Haven’t you ever had any training in dealing with neglect/abuse?

Answer by Amy
It sounds suspiciously like neglect on the parent’s part. You could try talking to the mother and getting some background, or if it’s within your power as a teacher, you could suggest a school counselor/psychologist speak with her.

Perhaps even an anonymous phone call to child protective services to investigate what’s going on in the home.

Something just doesn’t sound right to me.

Answer by Dana
Tell her that you are not my daughter and that you are adopted! Otherwise you could just play around for awhile and say yur actual mother is your best friend!

Answer by Amber L
This child is feeling unwanted at home. As you say her mom is a mother of six, that alone is being stretched too thin. I don’t really think of this as a behavioral problem, but it is something to address to a counselor. Maybe if this student spends a few hours of the day a couple times a week, she may let something out about what is really going on at home and why she feels the need to call you mommy. A few reasons why this child could be calling you mommy maybe 1…she most likely sees you more than her own mother…2…you give her guidance, attention and a teacherly love. If this child says her mom don’t care, and if she is right, it may be hard for you to talk to the mother about what is taking place at school, even though it should be brought to her attention. I would hate to tell the mom and she blow it out of proportion. You want the best for each of your students, you have this passion for teaching. Good Luck with this student.

Answer by canadiandude
First off she’s doing this because she sees you as her mother figure, meaning the only female adult in her life that ackowldges her and pays attention to her. You need to clearly set the boundarys by telling her that your her teacher and you want to help her learn BUT that your not her mother. I would recommmend you have a talk with her biological mother about this, and just let her know whats been going on in the classroom. Go easy on the little girl though she’s only 7 and really doenst know any better.

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