2011 December - Baby-sitting & Childcare

What would you do if your child did this ..?

Posted in Child Care on 30th December 2011

What would you do if your child did this ..?
I was just in the adolescents section .. which I’m beginning to get sick of tbh. It reminded me a couple days back I seen a question there about a girl wondering what people would think if she wore her new designer purse to school. One girl answered

“Well one day this girl in highschool wore a designer purse and a fur coat to school and she obviously thought she was better than everyone, i mean look at what she was wearing ! so when she went to the bathroom when took permanent markers and wrote things all over her coat and purse. We got in a lot of trouble but no one cared”

And It kind of disgusted me that someone would behave that way, especially in high school. Does anyone here actually raise kids like that ? If you found out your child ever did something like that what would you do / say to them ?

Best answer(s):

Answer by roree
Bitch I’m like that.

Answer by Madalicious
“”Well one day this girl in highschool wore a designer purse and a fur coat to school and she obviously thought she was better than everyone, i mean look at what she was wearing ! so when she went to the bathroom when took permanent markers and wrote things all over her coat and purse. We got in a lot of trouble but no one cared””

Answer by Wave
I would punish my kids if they did something like that. But they do that because their parents don’t raise them the correct way and they turn out to be spoiled brats. And also, school… They think its “cool” and “hot” if they beat someone up or do something like what you just said.

Answer by Amy M
If my child did that, he would be working to pay her back. Just because you don’t like a person or are jealous of what they’re wearing, it gives you no right to destroy their personal property.

Answer by Liznasty
These are children that have been raised in bad environments and somehow everybody is out to get them. That girl probably does much worse things than that on a regular basis. The parents aren’t good people and she’s probably seen examples in her life which led her to believe that vandalism and things of this sort of okay. She probably has a lot of problems.
If my child ever did that they’d have their favorite things taken away and be grounded for quite a while.

Answer by Erica G
well im not a mom;but im a teenager as well.&if my child would EVER do that.i would ground them&make them apologize to that girl&make them wear crappy clothes to school so everbody can tease my daughter so she can realize how it feels.
but i doubt my child would do that(:

Answer by RanaBanana
If my kids ever did something like that they would be working their behinds off to pay for the damaged purse and coat.

Answer by later Grace.
Well, first off, if someone ever did that to MY daughter I would sue. Yes. Give me a few thumb downs. Not that I ever have to worry about that because my daughter wouldn’t have a designer purse or fur coat. I’m getting way off topic, back to the point.

I wouldn’t exactly know what to say. First, I would leave to room so I could calm down, so I wouldn’t kill her. Then I would punish her severely. I don’t think smacking a girl in high school would particularly work. And by severe punishment, I mean grounded in her room, no phone, no computer, no TV, etc, for several months. AND they would be working to pay off what they damaged. AND I doubt ( I wouldn’t say never) my children would ever do anything like that, because they know they would know the severe consequences.

Answer by wondering
id drive them to that kids house and make em appologize and replace everything,then make the kid appologize to the parents,then take that kid home,and ground them for a month or longer,with no life but there boring room and nothing but books! a lot of books about bullies and effects it has.then id seek counceling for the kid,or kick thier ass.

Answer by Jocelyn
The kid is obviously immature and she is letting this other chick get to her.My kid would defiantly be punished.My kids know that they should not react to other people no matter how ignorant they are.

Child support/ dependent college student?

Posted in Child Support on 29th December 2011

Child support/ dependent college student?
So I am getting ready to move away to college over the summer, and part way through my first year I will turn 19. My parents (divorced 5 years) live in BC and I will move to another province.

My father will continue to pay child support to my mother until I am done college ( he pays for my 12 yr.o. brother as well) as per the usual agreement to continue as long as the child is a dependent.
I however, have different views, and really wish to receive any financial support from my father directly (once I am 19). I believe that as long as he wants to support me, he will, and if he chooses not to, then I will deal with it personally.I want my relationship with my father to be personal and I am tired of having him and my mother connected in any way over me.

So far my mother refuses to come to any agreement with me other than to continue to receive ‘my’ share of the child support after I am 19. (of course she will be helping me out financially). I have only spoken with her–she has not discussed it with my father or anything–so my father doesn’t know about it.

To any parents out there, or even students in the same situation, do you think I should have any say in this? I really really wish to receive aid directly and separately from my parents. I feel it would be better for my relationship with my father; I know he resents paying child support for the sheer fact that he has a lot of bitterness toward my mother.

So can I do anything without actually getting my father to file papers? I mean obviously I can’t DO anything, but do I at least have some solid ground to stand on when trying to discuss this with my mother? She claims she has ‘reasons’ for wanting to receive the support for me still and that it isn’t my business at all. I disagree, because I am trying my best to be as much of an adult as possible and would really like to deal with my financial support on my own. I am tired of hearing the words “child support”.
So does it seem completely unreasonable for the child support for my part to end? It will still be payed for my brother of course. I don’t know how to approach my mother because she refuses to talk to me like I should have a say or know anything at all about any finances.

Opinions? Thanks– I am so very unhappy with the situation.

Bob– thank you for the long, thoughtful, answer. I wasn’t expecting such a thought-out response.

I think you mistook what I was trying to get across– I think I forgot to mention that the money from my dad would go directly to my landlord or school for tuition, so I guess it wouldn’t actually be going to my bank account. Sorry, I messed that part up.

Also when I said “of course she’ll be supporting me” I was really trying to say she’s great in the fact that she’s doing her best to support me, and will continue to.

So as to the rest, I think answering what my spending habits, budget, and work situation are like is impertinent.

Haha just to mention I do think I have absolutely great money management skills. My parents would agree 100% and they would send me money directly should I ever need it. That was not supposed to be brought into the question either:) I think the fact that I have managed to save over $ 8000 in the last 3 years, while not impressive, notes that I have the ability to save SOME money. Btw, this will all go to my tuition next year. My goal is to get the least amount of support from my parents that is possible.

Best answer(s):

Answer by Bob
I am not sure what you are unhappy about. Is your mother using the money from your father for your actual support or is she spending it on new clothes for herself?

Typically a child of 19 that is going to college has significant expenses such as college tuition, medical expenses, insurance, taxes and room/board. Many of these need to be paid in large lump sums such as every 6 or 12 months. If I were your father, I would be concerned that you would spend the child support from him on video games or pizza as soon as you got it and then not have money to cover your major expenses. Too many teenagers see money and think they can spend it on “fun” stuff not realizing how expensive many of the “boring” things are. Teenagers typically do not have good budgeting skills. How are your money management skills? How many hours a week do you work (as a 19 year old in college – 15~20 hours is typical during the school year and 40-65 hours/week in the summer). How much of your college tuition, room & board, insurance payments do you cover based on your personal earnings (not money from parents)? Do you have a written budget and track your spending? Does less than 10% of your personal income from your own jobs go for “fun” stuff including hair products, makeup and clothes? Does the rest go for college expenses? Have you ever used drugs, drank or smoked while underage, driven too fast or in a reckless manner? Do you treat others with respect, have you ever gotten in trouble at school, do you attend church at least weekly? Do the above answers demonstrate you are well on your way to being a responsible adult?

I know that child support is tacky terminology for a 19 year old. However you are being supported by your parents until you get out of school, get a real job and are living on your own. If your parents were still together, I doubt if they would send you large checks every month for you to manage and trust that you would pay your tuition, etc on time. Giving you the money to manage has a huge downside for them if you spend it foolishly but what upside is in it for them to give you this money directly? Have you demonstrated over the past 3-4 years that you are responsible with money or have you spent money on things they thought were a waste of money?

Finally – there may be legal reasons for your father to pay your mother child support payments directly to her based on the court settlement. Normally the father would have to show the court that he has been providing your mother with funds for your support. Money that he would send directly to you would be a gift and not considered part of the child support agreement.

All of the above assumes your mother is spending the child support payments to put a roof over your head and food in your belly. If she is a crack addict then you should have your father petition the court to have you and your brother removed from your mother’s custody and placed under your father’s.

However I suspect that you are a spoiled brat because of your comment ” (of course she will be helping me out financially). ” …. Why do you expect her to help you financially but not control how the money is spent? It seems like you should appreciate that your parents are paying (probably a great deal) to send you to college far from home instead of saving the money by having you live at home and go to a local school or even say that once you are out of high school that you are on your own and just kick you out of her house without any more financial support.

Your attitude makes me sick. You should appreciate what you are being given by both parents. When you grow up – I hope you remember to apologize to your mother for this tirade of yours. From the sounds of it – you sound like an awful kid.

Note that if you have your own job and are paying for a significant amount of your own expenses then financial support from your parents would be less of an issue. Many kids work full time (ie 40 hours+/week) during the school year, you can too.

The Truth About Obama College Scholarships For Single Working Mothers

Posted in Working Mothers on 28th December 2011

The Truth About Obama College Scholarships For Single Working Mothers

The Truth About Obama College Scholarships For Single Working Mothers

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